http://www.sffchronicles.co.uk/forum/blogs/leisha/ Friendly science fiction and fantasy forums, discussing science fiction and fantasy books, film, media, writing, conventions, and related subjects such as science and history. en Tue, 21 May 2013 19:28:00 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.sffchronicles.co.uk/forum/images/misc/rss.jpg http://www.sffchronicles.co.uk/forum/blogs/leisha/ http://www.sffchronicles.co.uk/forum/blogs/leisha/55-i-think-i-might-be-speaking-about-hesitation.html Tue, 26 Aug 2008 02:25:40 GMT I should've done another blog entry a while ago, since I wanted to keep mine updated about the dos and don'ts of writing… Anyway, I'll make this short. Today's topic: Um, I think I want to talk about hesitation.

When writing, write clearly. Understand what you're trying to say, and say it once and with feeling. If you want to describe something, don't prance about with somehows and sort ofs. If your character wears garish clothes and is one slipper short of a full set, don't describe him in a hesitant way. You are the author. You have an image in your mind that you need to convey to the reader in the clearest way. Compare these two sentences:

He looked sort of fierce in a way, with his wild green eyes and untamed hair.

He looked fierce, with his wild green eyes and untamed hair. (Of course, since the first half of that sentence is also telling rather than showing, you can remove it and just describe his appearance, e.g.; He had wild green eyes and untamed hair.)

Or compare these two:

She had a permanent scowl on her face that somehow contrasted against her fine, graceful features and slender figure.

She had a permanent scowl that contrasted against her fine, graceful features and slender figure. (I've also combined this post with my last blog post about cutting unnecessary words. As you can see, I removed "on her face". I’m sure you can tell why.)


Of course, if you are aware of the power of hesitation used in the right place, you can deviate from this rule any time you like. But, um, make sure that you know what you're saying. ;)
]]> Leisha http://www.sffchronicles.co.uk/forum/blogs/leisha/55-i-think-i-might-be-speaking-about-hesitation.html http://www.sffchronicles.co.uk/forum/blogs/leisha/15-word-count-in-writing.html Sun, 03 Aug 2008 22:38:59 GMT I wondered what I'd blog about, if I blogged at all, and then it hit me - I could blog about writing! Write what I know and know what I write. I'll only do short posts, since I'm busy, but maybe they'll improve someone's writing.

Today's tip:


What's wrong with this sentence?

Bertie trundled off down the middle of the road, his gammy leg popping and clicking with each step.




I have used too many words. For a start, does the reader need to know that Bertie trundled off? Wouldn't trundle suffice in most cases? Secondly, is it relevant to use the middle of the road? For this, it depends. Think context. If you want to give the impression that Bertie is one bean short of a full can, showing him trundling down the middle of a road full of traffic is a great way to do this. However, if Bertie is just strolling down a country lane, why should the reader need to know he's in the middle - it's not relevant and it certainly doesn't move the plot forwards. Also, why state that his leg is gammy when you've shown it is through the popping and clicking? Lastly, from the way I phrased the line, the reader will take for granted that Bertie's leg is popping and clicking every time he takes a step. Thus, remove with each step.

You end up with this, which is much tighter and still conveys the same meaning:

Bertie trundled down road, his leg popping and clicking.


So, always watch for unnecessary words. They come in many guises!
]]> Leisha http://www.sffchronicles.co.uk/forum/blogs/leisha/15-word-count-in-writing.html