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Bible bashers get on my wick!!

Posted 27th June 2012 at 09:56 PM by Gary Compton
Updated 30th June 2012 at 06:27 PM by Gary Compton

So here I was minding my own business. It was 9am and as well as having a nice cup of coffee on the go, I was burning some waste in my garden.

Someone knocked at the door.

Well I am one of these people who hate unannounced callers, so I opened the door and stared at a Captain Manaring type who stood there with his wife. He held a book in his hand.

I glanced at it and I could see it was God related. He started rabbitting on about his religion and how they could save me. I interrupted him and said, "Excuse me. I am a Devil worshipper, I have a fire going in the back garden. Have you any souls I could burn.' I laughed in a Vincent Price style.

The man looked at me, then his wife and made a sharp exit.

I'm not nice am I?

Keep your religion to yourself, I say, it's a personal thing.
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  1. Old Comment
    J-WO's Avatar
    I had two Mormons tell me I could live forever in Paradise.

    'Why would I want to live forever?' I replied. 'That's the worst thing you could wish on anyone.'

    It really freaked them out, like I'd just offered to make them a rhinoceros smoothie or something. They'd genuinely never considered eternal life could be a bad thing.
    permalink
    Posted 28th June 2012 at 08:12 AM by J-WO J-WO is offline
  2. Old Comment
    Gary Compton's Avatar
    I think they might have been Mormons as well. Don't get me wrong - I do believe in God and certain religions are a good thing but not when its shoved in your face or people continually preach to you.
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    Posted 28th June 2012 at 08:37 AM by Gary Compton Gary Compton is offline
  3. Old Comment
    I look through the doorviewer and then answer in the nude if I think it's Mormons.
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    Posted 29th June 2012 at 05:37 PM by JoanDrake JoanDrake is online now
  4. Old Comment
    I think it varies a lot. I had a very nice pair of Dutchmen (that sounds rather, er, racier than it was) doorknocking, and we had a brief and nice chat. When it was obvious I didn't care about religion we just discussed the Netherlands and the British weather.

    Another time there was a crone and her disciple whose look of contempt when I said I had thought about God and didn't believe in him was rather depressing.

    Mind you, they weren't as bad as the charity doorknocker I had. An uninspiring, holier-than-thou attempt at emotional blackmail is just about the best way to prevent me from even considering supporting a charity. At least the Biblical doorknockers weren't begging.

    [I do buy from the RNLI and Help for Heroes shops as often as possible, so it's not an anti-charity point, just an anti-emotional blackmail point].
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    Posted 29th June 2012 at 09:17 PM by thaddeus6th thaddeus6th is offline
    Updated 29th June 2012 at 09:18 PM by thaddeus6th (Dire grammar)
  5. Old Comment
    hopewrites's Avatar
    maybe we should start a charity to stop emotional blackmail...
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    Posted 3rd July 2012 at 03:50 AM by hopewrites hopewrites is offline
 

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