Okay it's Friday and its a family tradition to try and have an easy day and get on the drink as soon as possible.

So around 2Pm my fat arse landed on my seat at my garden table and 4 cans of lager magically appeared in front of me. The ball and chain was there, having a tab and doing a Gary impression by drinking my amber nectar.

It was really hot today and I took my top off. For a moment the birds fell silent and her indoors fell off her stool.

I used...