Night of Sorrows A Kings Quest Chap 3 pt 1 *a lot shorter*

[Tred_Stone]

Chapter 3
Castlekeep

Damien woke feeling a foot prodding him in the ribs, stirring him out of his sleep. He opened his eyes to see Travis standing over him. Wiping sleep away with the back of his hand, he heard the blademaster tell him to start helping Kendle with the tearing down of their camp since they would be leaving within the hour. In following his normal morning routine he quickly did a few stretches to loosen and warm up his sore cramped muscles then gathered up his stuff and went off in search of the dwarf.

All packed and the fire doused, they moved off into the early morning mists that filled the small clearing. About mid morning they reached the edge of the woods that marked the true beginnings of Gaderia’s borders and Damien’s homeland.

Rich fertile farmlands, vineyards and orchards filled the fields that were his home. A long wide winding road stretched out in front of them disappearing off into the distance on either side as far as the eye could see.

The highwayman’s trail as it had once been called led west straight to Castlekeep and east along a less direct route all the way to the capitol city of Kallamar. It was expected at this time of the year to be crowded. Merchants and Traders would be filling it on their way to the merchant’s bazaar held in the city every year during the harvest festival celebration.

Once per year Castlekeep held a massive bazaar during the harvest festival, where merchants came from all over the realm to sell their wares without having to pay any taxes for that week. It has been said that if you can’t find an item during the bazaar in the merchants market at the harvest festival in Castlekeep then it probably didn’t exist.

The harvest festival was a weeklong celebration from when the city of Castlekeep was originally founded. Once per year all of the farmers and growers bring in all of their goods for sale. Most brought in were fruits, vegetables and fine wines, which were shipped out from the cities harbors to ports all over the rest of the realm.

Damien noticed that there was a difference to the road today. Instead of the normal amounts of merchant wagons and carts, there was an extraordinary amount of other people as well. Families carrying items, pushing carts and riding in wagons stuffed full of what looked like all of their possessions headed west.

Two hours of weaving in and out of carts along the highwayman’s trail and they finally topped a hill that overlooked the city and for the first time in six years Damien looked down at the place he used to call home.

The first thing he saw was the reflective shining blue surface of the Eversea Ocean. Even from this distance he could tell that the city’s harbor was filled with ships. Hundreds of masts dotted the water with spots of white, giving the bright blue water a speckled looking appearance.

“Almost home now,” Travis said, from the saddleback of his horse as he faced the other two.

Kendle looked up at the sun and rubbed his belly with one of his thick hands, “If we hurry, we can make it there in time for the midday meal.”

Damien and Travis both exchanged glances and looked at the dwarf with amazed expressions on their faces.

“What?” protested Kendle innocently, shrugging his heavy shoulders, holding out both of his calloused hands.

“How is it that you can be hungry again?” Damien asked. “You ate all of your breakfast, what was left of ours and what was left out of our rations.”

“I’m a growing dwarf,” Kendle told them cheerily, a wide smile on his round bearded face.

Travis smiled adding, “Yeah, round and wide.”

Damien burst out into laughter and Kendle shot both of them glowering looks as they began their descent down the hill towards the city.

Castlekeep was the largest city of the seven western kingdoms. It sprawled out along the coast of the Eversea Ocean, stretching for miles and miles in all directions. One could actually see the city’s progress by the walls that surrounded it. They almost looked like stairs leading in towards its center. The castle, for which the city got its name, was a massive fortress that sat high upon a cliffs edge overlooking the ocean, dead center, everything else expanded out from around it. The fortress had extremely thick double stonewalls that towered over everything else. On its battlements if one looked closely, guards could be seen on patrol. Even though there hadn’t been a war in almost thousand years the guards did their duty by patrolling the west wall where far across the ocean the new lands of the Elvynn lay.

To the north you could just make out the Iron Peak Mountains’ snowy tips as they shone white against the clear blue sky. The mountains were home to the three mountain dwarven cities. Silverstone, home of Kendle’s uncle, the dwarven Iron king Devlin Bonebreaker, High Hill and Stonebridge. All three traded precious minerals, armor and weapons with Castlekeep in exchange for food, meal, salt and the rights to ship out their goods out to the rest of the realm.

Kendle’s father Edrynn Stonebreaker was the fourteen kingdoms trade ambassador for the dwarves. He traded for both of the races, hill dwarf and mountain dwarf.

Castlekeep was the only self-sufficient city in the entire realm. It didn’t lack for anything, or need for anything and could survive without goods from any of the other cities in the realms. On the other hand, a lot of the other cities depended upon Castlekeep because of the food that was provided from its harbors and across the highwayman’s trail.

What Damien saw also as he looked down the hill shocked him and he spun round in his saddle to face the blademaster and the dwarf in open mouthed wonder. He could see how the city had grown since the last time he was here but that wasn’t what he noticed first.

Seas of thousands of people were camped outside of the cities massive walls, the likes of which the young battlemage had never seen. There were so many tents put up and wagons encircling it that for a moment it looked like the city was under siege from a marauding army. Damien thought that they looked like refugees from a war, but as a battlemage and a new member of the realms military he would have known if there were any wars being fought in the fourteen kingdoms and there were not. That was going to be part of his new duties.

After completing their initial six years of training in the academe, all battlemages are required to spend another six years in the military defending the realm that coincided with the length of their training. He certainly would have known if a war was taking place in the realm. The only enemy that could possibly be attacking Castlekeep would be the Terians to the north. Westlake or a few of the other mountain cities like Embry would be better targets on their list due to its locations. He was absolutely sure that it wasn’t the Elvynn from across the ocean. They were banned by the gods from war against the lesser races.

“What is all of this?” he asked, gesturing at the sea of people. “Who are all of these people, and what are they doing here camped outside of Castlekeep’s walls?”

“That,” the dwarf said, waving his hand at the masses, “is the result of the new tax laws created by our esteemed Royal Regent and ruler, Lord Vargas Salidor.” A somber solemn tone filled his voice.

Lord Vargas Salidor was the ruler of the Kallamarian realm and presided over all fourteen of the kingdoms Highlords. He wasn’t king because he was the fourth son of the old king before his older brother King Dorian had died. According to custom, only three people per noble family house can be named as an heir. When his third older brother, the past king, Dorian, his wife Ellanor and their newborn twin children were killed by Terian northmen who had invaded and attacked the royal palace in Kallamar the capitol city twenty years ago, Vargas, being the sole remaining surviving heir of the royal family took over. But also being the fourth son, he couldn’t be named king. In order to preserve the bloodlines, he became the royal regent until his own son, Seth Salidor, turns eighteen and takes over the throne and crown as the next true ruler of the kingdoms.

Damien looked at the dwarf, a curious expression still on his face. “I don’t understand? What do you mean all of these people here are the result of the new tax laws.”

Westlake was an independent city, an exception in the realm. Proclamations made by the royal regent didn’t affect any of its citizens, so he hadn’t heard about any new tax laws being put into effect.

Kendle’s face turned even more serious and his voice grew so hard it sounded as if he could grind stone with it. “Vargas passed some new tax laws that raised the cost of making a living so high that a decent being can either afford to make a living or feed his family but not do both. Any who refuse to pay are being arrested and executed. Everyone from nobles to commoners is being killed as traitors to the throne and crown. So thousands of people have fled from the east and are coming west.”

“I still don’t understand,” said Damien, his brow furrowing as he considered the dwarf’s words. “Why are they coming here? Aren’t we still a part of the realm and subject to its laws and royal decrees?”

“We are or at least we were until a few days ago,” said Travis, giving the dwarf a reproachful look. The expression on the blademaster’s face made it plain that he thought that Kendle had said too much.

Sensing something terrible, Damien realized what he was hearing might be the beginning of a civil war between east and the west. Such a thing hadn’t happened in almost a thousand years. Not since the Highlord battlemage, Voriaa Sarr. “What exactly are you saying Travis?”

The blademaster turned in his saddle and faced Damien. “Your father, his uncle,” Travis gestured at Kendle, “and the other six western Highlords have declared themselves exempt and have become tax free states. Refusing to abide by any laws that they consider unlawful or unjust that are being passed by the royal regent until the Highlords Council.”

Damien’s eyes grew wide and then wider at hearing this. Neither of the two had said anything about this during the whole weeklong trip home.

“That,” Travis informed him, “is why so many people are camped outside of the cities gates and around its walls.”

“And if you think this is a lot,” added Kendle, waving at the camped masses. “You should see how many are inside the city itself.”

Damien considered what he was hearing and calculated it all in his head just as he had been taught to do in the academe by Tiko. His face paled a little at what he figured he was going to hear. Hesitantly he asked, “What does this mean for all of us? I’m sure that Lord Vargas isn’t going to let the realm crumble to pieces around him or fall into chaos while he rules? Especially not right before his own son Seth takes the throne and becomes king is he? What actions is Vargas going to take? I mean regardless of all of this and whatever my father and the other western highlords are thinking, he is still the royal regent and the rightful ruler of Kallamar, for a little while longer.”

Travis heard Damien’s words and they hit him like hurled daggers. He whipped around in his saddle angrily. “Vargas!” the blademaster snapped, spitting out the name with so much venom that it almost sounded like a curse. Rage flashed in his eyes, his face went hard as stone and the scarred hands gripping the reins of his horse turned white knuckle hot. Trembling with anger Travis said glaring at the two of them. “That man is no more the legitimate ruler of this land than you or me!” Both Damien and Kendle could see that the blademasters whole body shaking with barely concealed fury.

“In fact,” Travis continued, his voice thick with rage. “Vargas is nothing less than a filthy murderer who deserves to be killed. The gods willing he will someday be made to pay for his crimes against the throne and the crown.”

As the blademaster finished the angry tirade, his voice took on a deadly dangerous sounding edge. It almost sounded to Damien as if Travis wanted to be the one that did so. Then the blademaster slapped his reins hard against his horse’s neck, causing the animal to jump ahead of the other two in startled surprise, where he continued to ride by himself for a while.

Surprised at the unexpected outburst, Damien raised his eyebrows in astonishment. “What in Tyrus brought that on?”

“I don’t know,” answered Kendle, equally astonished at Travis’ reaction. “I’ve never seen him act that way before. I mean Travis has always been a little bit sad or surly and he is as stern a man as I have ever met. But I don’t think I’ve ever seen him outright angry before especially not like he was just then.”

“I would say,” offered Damien. “He definitely has no love for the royal regent.”

Kendle’s eyes followed the blademasters back as he rode on ahead, considering Damien’s words. “And I’d have to say, I agree with you on that.”

[Sparker]

Hi Tred,

Just a few things, new to this myself so don't take anything as coming from a veteran of this critique lark!

Found the opening part of this is a little bit like a list or an agenda... first they did this, then they did that... sort of thing. As soon as the trio stop near the city it gets a lot better.

The history to this realm of yours feels quite familiar to me, the place names, people and situation is a bit expectable. Although the whole idea of there not being a war for over a thousand years is intriguing. I might have read this bit wrong but you mention Terian northmen invading and attacking the royal palace... was there no reaction to this? War maybe? Maybe not... just something to think on perhaps.

Also a bit unclear about the behaviour of Travis at the end, I'm guessing that the reader will know more about him before this chapter because there doesn't seem to be much said about their individual personalities... or looks for that matter...

Castlekeep is described well and has its potential. The detail about how the city works is good although you might want to space it out with some activity through the chapters.

Well, think I've said enough, apologies if this sounds more negative than it was intended, I enjoyed this so would be interested to see what you think about my observations.

Regards,