| Re: Opening with an expletive Well its 1st person, he doesn't speak before that. After a year away from home, his home citystate joins in a war. At this point he has been conscripted by a foreign army who was already at war. While procuring a third pint of stout at a local watering hole, he is beset upon by some young enlistees. All questioning and commenting on his and their search for renoun and glory. His response, "*(F or Sh word), all I wanted was a normal life: a trade, regular meals, indoor sleeping." He would use the Sh-word( unless he used the F-word). I may simply omit it. I was thinking about a euphamism but was unsure if that would work or just sound silly. Alternatively, I could have him speak to an officer, drinking or not, he would do his utmost to exhibit good upbringing and respectability. This line is a rewrite; before, while the first word was the same, he was much more animated when starting his explanation that he never intended to pursue glory and adventure. I later reckoned him tired from the campaign and unlikely to perceive young recriuts as worth losing all sense of decorum. |