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12th March 2006, 04:09 PM
| #1 (permalink) |
| TruthFul  Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 276
|  The Flying DutchMan This is a poem I wrote awhile ago (it is also my first published work  ). It is based on one of the many legends surrounding the Flying DutchMan. I thought I would share it and gain a little insight. The Flying DutchMan There once was a man, the Flying DutchMan by name. The vows he did take, are his sad claim to fame. "To sail 'round Cape Good Hope," is the oath he did make. "Even if it takes forever," and forever it shall take. He gambled his soul to the Devil one day. Who cheated and won, and took it away. Now damned he is; forever at sea. Never to rest; nor ever at peace. He sails and he gambles, to reclaim his soul, From the Devil who stole it and cast it in limbo. Bad luck he does bring, to the sailors who see, The phantom ship of the DutchMan at sea. |
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12th March 2006, 07:08 PM
| #2 (permalink) |
| Jack of all trades  Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 1,138
| Re: The Flying DutchMan You’re post I did like, it was certainly fun But the meter and flow were a tad over done The rhyming was good for most of its course But some, like limbo and soul, seemed quite forced Again, with the rhythm, quite jaunty and strong, But some sentences suffered from just being a little bit too long. No poet am I, I’ve critiqued what I could. Enjoyed it I did and keep writing you should. |
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