[ray gower]

Just an question or two towards backdrop. No problem with the plot outline suggested, but it strikes me it needs something built in before and after?

Are the 'Council' already convinced that it is all going to be the girls fault, upon which case, how did they know it was her, also remembering that they would probably whisk her off to be topped before anybody knows what is happening.

Or is it that they know there is somebody- an unmarried mother born in the year of the Dragon who will give birth in the decade of the Lemon etc. And therefore run raiding parties to pickup useful suspects. (Think Herod).

The sudden arrival of the Inquistion will make it far more likely that people will develop extremes of reaction beyond mild ghoulish interest, which is the normal reaction to occasional police raids.

You might also like to make one or more of her friends a 'visitor' who does not know all the rules the locals live under: Much easier to break a rule if you don't know it exists, there is no 'We mustn't do this' check.

Also is here a genuine 'End of the World' character- Perhaps she lives next door and the Inquisition have picked up the wrong suspects?

Depending on whose side you are on, you might like to consider a prologue/introduction chapter, based on your synopsis, that lays down the myth and shows why the 'Council' are so terrified.