Science Fiction Fantasy Chronicles: forums - View Single Post - Fated Children. Book One Of Destinies Child., Proposed book blurb. and other HELP

Aes · 14th September 2007, 12:22 PM

Perhaps you meant to put this under critiques? Anyway, I'd say the first one, but I won't lie; it needs a bit of cleaning before I'd be able to see it as professional grade.

Edit: I should be more specific: a few spelling errors (mercenary comes to mind immediately), you might want to redo the sentences so they flow a bit better, and you also should consider consolidating the whole thing a bit more. (You should be able to smash it into roughly two paragraphs. Unlike the rest of a novel, a blurb is better off being as concise as possible in my opinion, since that's what most people use when scanning new material to see if it's worth taking home, or putting back on the shelf.

Other than that, the story sounds like it could be pretty good.

14th September 2007, 12:22 PM	#4 (permalink)
Aes Registered Procrastinator Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Washington Posts: 369	Re: Fated Children. Book One Of Destinies Child., Proposed book blurb. and other HELP Perhaps you meant to put this under critiques? Anyway, I'd say the first one, but I won't lie; it needs a bit of cleaning before I'd be able to see it as professional grade. Edit: I should be more specific: a few spelling errors (mercenary comes to mind immediately), you might want to redo the sentences so they flow a bit better, and you also should consider consolidating the whole thing a bit more. (You should be able to smash it into roughly two paragraphs. Unlike the rest of a novel, a blurb is better off being as concise as possible in my opinion, since that's what most people use when scanning new material to see if it's worth taking home, or putting back on the shelf. Other than that, the story sounds like it could be pretty good.