Just a few points on this list.....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Curt Chiarelli  These are some handy, helpful hints for the hapless individual who may find himself trapped inside of a Lovecraftian universe. |
Meaning... we're not?
1) Well, there goes my dream-house... so to speak.....
2) Errr... doesn't that pretty much do away with the majority of best-sellers.... Oh. Maybe that explains the situation we're in....
3) Now he tells me. You do realize I just spent my life-savings on that little item, don't you?
What do you mean, that's a
good thing....?
4) *scratches tarnish-remover off grocery list*
5) Wait a minute! Of course they do! See, it's printed right on.... oh. F.A.-D.L.... err... Fungi Anti-Defamation League.... oooops....
6) "Just stick with a flashlight" the man says... But, but, but... I lost mine back at that hole in the floor. And I think some... er, thing, thought it was an afternoon snack. *hears noise from the darkness behind him* uh-oh... now, that did not sound like indigestion.....
7) To heck with the fashion-sense; what about those of us with fallen arches, huh?
8)
Quote:
|
Purchase a .45 calibre semi-automatic pistol loaded with hollow-tip cartridges for only select situations: if somebody you know claims to have been dispossessed of his/her body and inhabited by an alien intelligence - ice them. You're doing him/her/it a favour....
|
Um, didn't that note also say something about
aqua regia... or
aqua fortis... or... aqua something, anyway.... A swim-party, maybe? Out off the reef?... hmmmmmm......
9) Sounds like any weekday night here on the street where I live....
10) Got it. Lots of practice. Seriously. You should have met my mother-in-law....
11) Man, you are seriously narrowing down on my tourist spots... and, um, what about corner rooms with oddly-placed walls? I mean, the rent's really, really cheap, and these days....
12) You realize you just eliminated a fair number of the people on this site, don't you? And that you can find
Saducimus Triumphatus and
Daemonolatreia on Project Gutenberg? As for stuff by A.C. (hmmm... interesting coindicence in initials there, don't you think?)... well, see #2 above.....
13) As opposed to those who don't know
enough for your own good? Oh, dear... decisions, decisions....
14) Um, I think you left out Texas... considering the current state of affairs, how on earth could you leave out
Texas????
15) I'm not so sure I'd go for squat, evil-eyed merchants who deal in hippocephalic birds, either....
16) Hmmm.... that could explain why my callers keep hanging up. I just thought it was a bunch of wrong numbers....
17) *sigh* *scratches
another set of intended hobbies off list....*
18) Err... have you ever seen me in a pair of swim trunks? *shudders* And as for the subscription... well, see #17.....
19) Funny... reminds me of the get-togethers we had with people back when my wife was in school. Oh......
20) Damn. Just... damn....
21) Hmph. And I thought Great-Great-Great-Great Aunt Nelda had finally forgiven me. Then again... maybe the fact she's 172 should have clued me in...
22) Well... I did find a family bible going back several generations, but I gave it to my sister. Could explain why I've not heard from her in a while....
23) And if it isn't
cheap lipstick?
24) *checks name on door* Curt Chiarelli, Mighty Messenger... Now, where have I heard that phrase before....?