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timelord4 · 6th August 2007, 04:10 AM

Hi VS.

I love first person, so you got me in straight away. SciFi isn't my go, but I love to write it, funny enough.

OK. The flow is very good. Cliches, yeah, but everyone does it, they just reword it differently. Your dialogue cruises. It's natural and people do swear, particularly given your characters' roles. I find no problems with the sentiments you're trying to get across. Fine by me. Pull back the throttle and give it heaps.

TL

6th August 2007, 04:10 AM	#3 (permalink)
timelord4 The never on time lord Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Australia Posts: 239	Re: Unnamed project, prologue and chapter 1 Hi VS. I love first person, so you got me in straight away. SciFi isn't my go, but I love to write it, funny enough. OK. The flow is very good. Cliches, yeah, but everyone does it, they just reword it differently. Your dialogue cruises. It's natural and people do swear, particularly given your characters' roles. I find no problems with the sentiments you're trying to get across. Fine by me. Pull back the throttle and give it heaps. TL