Fight Scenes

[Morgy]

This is something I'm just having trouble with. I feel my writing is just too choppy and short. I feel there isn't enough description, but I am in fear of adding more to some parts because I've heard that it was bad to add too much description. I've heard fight scenes should be short and fast.

Even times when I've decided to add more description I feel that it isn't correct or that it isn't relevant. I don't know if I'm making much sense. Its missing something but I feel I am adding the wrong "somethings."

I don't want to avoid fight scenes. I don't want that damn :
So and so are fighting. Main Character gets hit in the head and wakes up in bed, to be told what happened by his friend that saw the whole thing.

I want suspense, I want a good fight scene.

Any suggestions on making an interesting fight scene? Anyone else have this problem or had it?

[I, Brian]

IMO a good book is driven by the character experience, so as long as you're focusin on the character experience, rather than trying to write an objective sports commentary on fighting, then I think you're probably in the right area.

[Marky Lazer]

Morgy: I think you'd better post one of your fight scenes and let people comment on it and give you helpful advice. Doing it yourself (and maybe a re-write afterwards) will help you more then someone telling you what to do.

[cornelius]

it's helping for me, though the last comments ( as flattering as they were, and as thrilled I was to get them) aren't really "constructive" .It is so nice to hear someone saying they like your writings, but you should try to draw some of the editors here on this forum, the'll be glad to help you.

[Morgy]

I don't want to post something that I barely have any confidence behind
I was hoping for general suggestions on how to work through a fight scene =/ Or what to avoid as well. Hmmm. I will work on it alittle and perhaps post something later tonight.

[Marky Lazer]

Well, the only way to improve is try it. If I say what to do (which I'm probably not even capable to do), you won't learn anything and just do what I say. Make mistakes, and learn from them!

[Mark Robson]

I don't think it would be boasting too much to say that this is one area that I'm good at. I really try to place myself in the fight and experience it as the main protagonist does.

Here is a short clip from my latest novel, Imperial Assassin (to be published by Simon & Schuster UK - November 2006). This is taken from the first draft.

‘You and me then, Nelek,’ Reynik said brightly, hoping to spark some sort of response.

Nelek grunted. He grabbed two training swords from the pile and tossed one to Reynik. They moved into a suitable space and faced one another.

‘How would you like to warm up?’ Reynik asked, rolling his shoulders to limber them in preparation for the punishment he anticipated.

Nelek gave no answer. Instead he attacked. He gave no warning. No salute. Nothing. He just launched straight into a barrage of hard, fast strikes with his wooden blade. Instinct and lightning fast reactions were all that saved Reynik from a mass of bruises in the first few seconds, for the veteran was hitting with full force.

Reynik was under no illusions as to who was the superior swordsman. Nelek moved with incredible speed and grace. He also had the instincts of a killer. The veteran had survived several battles during his career, despite having been in the thick of the fighting for hours. When Reynik had first joined the Legion, one of the more friendly veterans had recounted to Reynik a tale of Nelek in the grip of battle fury during one of their campaigns together. The man had claimed to have witnessed Nelek carve his way through a mass of fighters as if they were so many dead trees to be chopped down. Whether the story was true, or exaggerated, made little difference. The fact remained that he was a truly talented fighter. What Reynik needed to know right now was his weaknesses, not his strengths.

Leaping away from Nelek in an effort to regain some poise and balance, Reynik found that he was instantly pursued. Nelek gave him no space to think. The barrage of strokes continued and despite Reynik’s best efforts, the veteran’s strokes started to get past his guard. He took a sharp rap to the ribs and a second on the arm, but there was no let up. Nelek showed no external signs of spite, or anger. If he had, then Reynik would have yelled the yield call that would have forced the man to stop his attack. But Reynik was not ready to yield.

It occurred to Reynik that Nelek was trying to prove something. The question was what? Reynik already acknowledged the man’s experience and superiority with a blade. Was there something more? It did not matter. If this had been a real fight with proper blades, Reynik would already have been severely wounded, perhaps mortally. But it was not a real fight. It was a training bout. There were rules. Nelek had already broken one by neglecting to salute. Would he break more? Reynik decided to find out.

Leaping backwards again in apparent retreat, Reynik anticipated that Nelek would continue his relentless pursuit. This time, though, rather than looking for breathing space, Reynik used the momentary disengagement to change his stance and deliberately leave his head vulnerable to attack. Strikes to the head in training were forbidden, but it appeared that Nelek was in no mood to worry about that. He took the bait and swung at the side of Reynik’s head. Reynik blocked, but more than that. He had deliberately landed such that his weight was forward and as the wooden swords met, he spun under and inside Nelek’s guard to drive the elbow of his left arm up into the man’s solar plexus.

It was a trick that one of the Thrandorian Guards had played on him during a practice bout at the Royal Palace in Mantor. It proved as successful for Reynik as it had for the Thrandorian. Nelek doubled over, only to have his face meet the back of Reynik’s fist, which rapped the bridge of his nose firmly enough to bring more pain. Nelek staggered back. Before he had a chance to recover, Reynik had disarmed him and placed his practice blade against the veteran’s throat.

‘That’s quite enough of that,’ a stern voice interjected.

Reynik backed away from Nelek and saluted before turning to face the File Leader. Sidis was looking on with a face like thunder. ‘Nothing new there,’ Reynik thought grimly.

‘What exactly do you think you’re playing at, Reynik?’ Sidis asked, his voice filled with outrage and fury. ‘This is a training ground. We do not deliberately attempt to inflict injuries on our training partners here. You are a Legionnaire, not a back street brawler. We have rules. Legionnaires who deliberately break those rules are punished. Severely. I saw your last attack on Nelek. You deliberately struck him in the face. Blows to the head are strictly forbidden for good reason, Reynik. If you think you are above the rules because of your recent mission, then think again. You are hereby placed on restrictions for seven days. Additionally, you are designated to jacks duty for the same period. If I see you do anything like that again, I will not hesitate to have you transferred out of the Legion. We harbour no snakes here.’

Reynik said nothing. He looked the File Leader in the eye and saluted him, but he did so in the most perfunctory manner. Sidis turned and stalked off.

Inside, Reynik was seething, but there was nothing he could do. There was no point in arguing. He knew Sidis well enough to know that the man already disliked him. Protesting would only make matters worse. The fact that Nelek had struck at his head with a training sword mere seconds before was irrelevant. A breach of the rules could not be mitigated in the Legions – especially the General’s Legion. Bleating about it would only make matters worse. All he could do was to accept the punishment and try to avoid further altercations.

‘Amazing!’ he thought, sick to the stomach. ‘I’ve been back little more than an hour and already I’m in a whole mess of trouble!’

There are things I will have to alter here that I've already identified. There are a few examples of telling, rather than showing - I tell the reader that attacks to the head are not allowed, (more than once actually) which is unnecessary. However, the pacing and choreography of the piece is not bad. Perhaps you could pick this little scene apart and see what's good and bad in it. A discussion would help me refine it too.

‘Ready for another bout, boy?’ Nelek sneered.