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Nesacat · 1st August 2007, 06:58 PM

I am sorry for the double post and I hope what I say next makes some sense.

I think you should not be so clear about what happens to Josephine. It was tense and dark and frightening before. There was an awareness of what was happening but no clear details and that is so much worse.

I am not saying she should remain untouched. I'm just saying that maybe it should not be so clear or so mundanely sordid as such things are wont to be when dragged into the light.

And that would be a good contrast to the boys where everything is sharp and jagged and too clear almost.

1st August 2007, 06:58 PM	#5 (permalink)
Nesacat The Cat Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Malaysia Posts: 2,685	Re: Darkness creeps into the light... I am sorry for the double post and I hope what I say next makes some sense. I think you should not be so clear about what happens to Josephine. It was tense and dark and frightening before. There was an awareness of what was happening but no clear details and that is so much worse. I am not saying she should remain untouched. I'm just saying that maybe it should not be so clear or so mundanely sordid as such things are wont to be when dragged into the light. And that would be a good contrast to the boys where everything is sharp and jagged and too clear almost.