Science Fiction Fantasy Chronicles: forums - View Single Post - Film Review- Transformers By Michael Bay

Coolhand · 23rd July 2007, 12:43 PM

Short Version: “Awesome!” if you’re not a transformers fan, “Bloody good but with major problems” if you are.

Long Version:

HERE BE SPOILERS! ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK!

Some of you may know that I really didn’t expect this movie to be any good. See, I read the lacklustre script a few months ago, and saw the terrible biomechanical designs for the bots, and had a bit of a Simon Pegg moment:

http://www.chronicles-network.com/fo...e-movie-2.html

Turns out there was only one thing I didn’t count on.
Michael Bay.

Now, the Bayster gets a pretty rough ride from critics because his films tend to be pretty shallow excuses to blow stuff up and have hot women run around in their underwear. And, let’s face it, they’re right. In terms of substance and integrity, his films have the depth and morals of a mud puddle.

But as a sheer visual stylist…I think Bay is one of the greatest directors working today.

There. I said it. In terms of visual skill and spectacle, Bay is pretty much the king. He can’t make you ponder the meaning of life but, by Primus, he can blow cool stuff up better than any French independent filmmaker could ever dream of doing. And this spectacle is what he brings to the Transformers.
But let’s not focus on that for now.

…what’s that? No, don’t worry, we’ll get to the cool explosions in a moment. But there is more to this film than just ka-boom.

You see, the first thing I should probably tell you is that there is a surprising amount of humour on display here. Seriously. Okay, it’s not funny in a Douglas Adams/ Oscar Wilde intelligently funny kind of way. It’s funny in a screwball, popcorn, “just had a couple of drinks and now masturbation jokes are funny hyuck hyuck” kind of way. But it’s still funny. One of the Decepticons, Frenzy, is an especially mean, bizarre little creature and is probably what happens if you cross a robot with a tourette’s suffer. He steals every scene he’s in and he’s great. Additionally Shia Labouf and Megan Fox are not as annoying as I thought they’d be and by and large fail to ruin this movie. They even manage to be quite amusing at times.

…what’s that? You want me to shut up about all that crap and talk about the huge explosions and robots? Oh, okay. So, what’s the action like?

Let me put it this way.

The opening sequence, in which Decepticon Blackout wipes out a military base had me so overloaded with excitement that I almost started running around the cinema, shooting imaginary Decepticons and singing the Transformers theme tune. This really is Bay’s thing. You can almost hear him cackling with unhinged teenage glee as he blows up yet another car or crashes a decepticon though yet another building.

And yet…and yet for every cool sequence of jaw dropping destruction, there is a sequence where Bay drops the ball. A lot of this is down to the whole “Shaky Camera” effect that ruins the action in so many movies nowadays. Here it sometimes blurs the action so badly that sometimes I actually can’t tell which robot is which (another side effect of those stupid designs) Plus, Bay has an annoying habit of focusing on the humans during these action scenes, when he’d be much better served showing us more of the robots. For example, most of the Bumblebee Vs Barricade fight is actually Spike getting chased by Frenzy, with only the occasional cut back to the bots. We don’t even see Bumblebee land the killer blow, we just see that suddenly Barricade is lying on the floor. THAT is stupid. That is wrong.

Yet there is also much that is right. There are moments that I have waited 20 years to see. The scene where the Autobots arrive on Earth, and a later scene were they roll into battle in formation was just so wonderful, such a heady mix of visuals, music and nostalgia that I think I’ll love Michael Bay for the rest of my life and might even partially forgive him the abomination that was Pearl Harbour.

However:
I’ve learned to live with the crappy designs, and Bay’s visual artistry and carnage can allow me to overlook the weak script, but there is one thing that really annoyed me and stopped me proclaiming this one of the greatest popcorn movies ever. If you’re not a transformers fan you won’t care about this so I’ve put it in white text. Highlight below to read:

The Prime Vs Megatron fight sucks.
The ultimate moment of any transformers story is when Prime and Megatron come face to face and fight to the death. In the animated movie it was the most memorable scene, and the comics all tend to build to a climactic moment where Prime points at Megatron and proclaims that “one shall stand, one shall fall.”
Not to put too fine a point on it, Bay screws this up so badly I almost walked out.
For starters, most of it happens off screen or in the background, whilst Bay focuses on his stupid humans and their stupid problems who I don’t’ care about because they’re humans in a Transformers movie and I want to watch Prime and Megs fight. I want to see every move, every punch, I want the world to stop whilst these two icons go at it full focus at the centre of the camera.
You don’t get that.
Not only that, but the fight is decidedly one sided, with Megatron just whaling on Prime until…well I won’t spoil it but no Transformer movie should end like that. It’s insulting to everyone involved. Basically Prime should not need the help of some stupid human to whup Megatron’s ass! He needs no punk kid! He is PRIME! ARRRRRGHGHGHHHHGHG!!!!!! GEEK RAGE!!!!! COOLHAND SMASH!!!!!!.

That really ruined the end for me. But it won’t for you, unless you are a similar kind of Transformers freak.

So all in all, a rocking popcorn flick with eye-searing effects and crowd pleasing one liners. But not quite the movie this fan had waited twenty years to see. Mind you, there’s always the sequel…

23rd July 2007, 12:43 PM	#1 (permalink)
Coolhand Spiff's Stunt Double Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 429	Film Review- Transformers By Michael Bay Short Version: “Awesome!” if you’re not a transformers fan, “Bloody good but with major problems” if you are. Long Version: HERE BE SPOILERS! ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK! Some of you may know that I really didn’t expect this movie to be any good. See, I read the lacklustre script a few months ago, and saw the terrible biomechanical designs for the bots, and had a bit of a Simon Pegg moment: http://www.chronicles-network.com/fo...e-movie-2.html Turns out there was only one thing I didn’t count on. Michael Bay. Now, the Bayster gets a pretty rough ride from critics because his films tend to be pretty shallow excuses to blow stuff up and have hot women run around in their underwear. And, let’s face it, they’re right. In terms of substance and integrity, his films have the depth and morals of a mud puddle. But as a sheer visual stylist…I think Bay is one of the greatest directors working today. There. I said it. In terms of visual skill and spectacle, Bay is pretty much the king. He can’t make you ponder the meaning of life but, by Primus, he can blow cool stuff up better than any French independent filmmaker could ever dream of doing. And this spectacle is what he brings to the Transformers. But let’s not focus on that for now. …what’s that? No, don’t worry, we’ll get to the cool explosions in a moment. But there is more to this film than just ka-boom. You see, the first thing I should probably tell you is that there is a surprising amount of humour on display here. Seriously. Okay, it’s not funny in a Douglas Adams/ Oscar Wilde intelligently funny kind of way. It’s funny in a screwball, popcorn, “just had a couple of drinks and now masturbation jokes are funny hyuck hyuck” kind of way. But it’s still funny. One of the Decepticons, Frenzy, is an especially mean, bizarre little creature and is probably what happens if you cross a robot with a tourette’s suffer. He steals every scene he’s in and he’s great. Additionally Shia Labouf and Megan Fox are not as annoying as I thought they’d be and by and large fail to ruin this movie. They even manage to be quite amusing at times. …what’s that? You want me to shut up about all that crap and talk about the huge explosions and robots? Oh, okay. So, what’s the action like? Let me put it this way. The opening sequence, in which Decepticon Blackout wipes out a military base had me so overloaded with excitement that I almost started running around the cinema, shooting imaginary Decepticons and singing the Transformers theme tune. This really is Bay’s thing. You can almost hear him cackling with unhinged teenage glee as he blows up yet another car or crashes a decepticon though yet another building. And yet…and yet for every cool sequence of jaw dropping destruction, there is a sequence where Bay drops the ball. A lot of this is down to the whole “Shaky Camera” effect that ruins the action in so many movies nowadays. Here it sometimes blurs the action so badly that sometimes I actually can’t tell which robot is which (another side effect of those stupid designs) Plus, Bay has an annoying habit of focusing on the humans during these action scenes, when he’d be much better served showing us more of the robots. For example, most of the Bumblebee Vs Barricade fight is actually Spike getting chased by Frenzy, with only the occasional cut back to the bots. We don’t even see Bumblebee land the killer blow, we just see that suddenly Barricade is lying on the floor. THAT is stupid. That is wrong. Yet there is also much that is right. There are moments that I have waited 20 years to see. The scene where the Autobots arrive on Earth, and a later scene were they roll into battle in formation was just so wonderful, such a heady mix of visuals, music and nostalgia that I think I’ll love Michael Bay for the rest of my life and might even partially forgive him the abomination that was Pearl Harbour. However: I’ve learned to live with the crappy designs, and Bay’s visual artistry and carnage can allow me to overlook the weak script, but there is one thing that really annoyed me and stopped me proclaiming this one of the greatest popcorn movies ever. If you’re not a transformers fan you won’t care about this so I’ve put it in white text. Highlight below to read: The Prime Vs Megatron fight sucks. The ultimate moment of any transformers story is when Prime and Megatron come face to face and fight to the death. In the animated movie it was the most memorable scene, and the comics all tend to build to a climactic moment where Prime points at Megatron and proclaims that “one shall stand, one shall fall.” Not to put too fine a point on it, Bay screws this up so badly I almost walked out. For starters, most of it happens off screen or in the background, whilst Bay focuses on his stupid humans and their stupid problems who I don’t’ care about because they’re humans in a Transformers movie and I want to watch Prime and Megs fight. I want to see every move, every punch, I want the world to stop whilst these two icons go at it full focus at the centre of the camera. You don’t get that. Not only that, but the fight is decidedly one sided, with Megatron just whaling on Prime until…well I won’t spoil it but no Transformer movie should end like that. It’s insulting to everyone involved. Basically Prime should not need the help of some stupid human to whup Megatron’s ass! He needs no punk kid! He is PRIME! ARRRRRGHGHGHHHHGHG!!!!!! GEEK RAGE!!!!! COOLHAND SMASH!!!!!!. That really ruined the end for me. But it won’t for you, unless you are a similar kind of Transformers freak. So all in all, a rocking popcorn flick with eye-searing effects and crowd pleasing one liners. But not quite the movie this fan had waited twenty years to see. Mind you, there’s always the sequel… Last edited by Coolhand; 23rd July 2007 at 12:53 PM.