You're the Librarian! Once a wizard, now an Orang-utan (due to an unfortunate magical accident), you refuse to be turned back for a few reasons: In this form, it's easier to reach the shelves and hold more books; having the strength of five men makes people return their books on time; life's great philosophical questions boil down to 'when do I get my next banana?' You say 'ook' but are usually understood well enough.
The Librarian 75% Carrot Ironfounderson 63% Lord Havelock Vetinari 63% Rincewind 56% Death 44% Commander Samuel Vimes 44% Gytha (Nanny) Ogg 44% Greebo 38% Cohen The Barbarian 38% Esmerelda (Granny) Weatherwax 31%