It looks like this thread has died out while I was swamped with other things ... but I do want to post about Mary's missing "flash of anger".
I also am uncomfortable with the scene as written. Mary
could have become quite submissive, though, given her background. Let me explain ...
First, Mary had a rough childhood (understatement). She was forced to be strong and independent long before she would normally become so. So we have the psychological pattern of a child, forced to be strong and adult, but a child underneath. This pattern continues to adulthood -- Mary is strong not because she is a mature woman, but because Mary the child
has to be that way, because the world is such a dangerous place.
Enter Sam. Despite his other shortcomings, he is a mature man, and has his strength and independence due to his maturity. When Mary falls in love with him, her subconscious sees him as her adult strength, so she can go back to childhood. So she submits, fully, in all situations, and becomes the child-Mary again. Sam is "the wise father" she doesn't question, as well as husband.
If this was real life instead of fiction, I would hope Mary would begin maturing again, and be able to disagree with Sam again. Or he'd get might tired of her
My beef with the written scene -- we don't know whether RAH meant for Mary to have the issues I stated, or if he just didn't write well.
--Liz