Words to live by
Never argue with an idiot. The people watching might not know the
Remember, when someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles in your face to
frown. BUT, it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and SMACK the jerk upside the head.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but you
still can't help but giggle when you see one tumble down the stairs.
In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird
and people take Prozac to make it normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until
you hear them speak.
Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.
If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when
you've just made it again.
Those who live by the sword..........get shot by those who don't.
There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.