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Old 11th February 2007, 09:53 PM   #5 (permalink)
panzerman
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 21
Re: Crucible of Zion, Chapter one

Got it Grif. I took out nearly the first 1/3 of the story. I put the essential details into the 'thought' process of jacob. I am embarrassed that I posted the rough draft instead of the correct one, and now I cant edit it out. But either way, your help has already made the real draft much much more readable.
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