Originally Posted by Curt Chiarelli
I almost passed over this thread thinking its subject was lepidoptery. What connection, I thought, does Vladimir Nabokov, chloroform jars and push pins have to genre fiction? (That is, discounting Mothra . . . .) Well, it has nothing to do with Science Fiction/Fantasy . . . . but it does have dark umbilical ties to that modern Horror with the haunted visage of a seraphim, wings of gossamer and sickle talons that can shred your soul: that yearning phenomena we otherwise refer to as amore.
Obsession. Beauty. Captivity. Pain. Freedom.
Glad I peeked.
The first matter I'd like to address is that there is much wisdom to be gleaned from this thread: J.D., Seanie and Steffi have seen to that quite amply.
And bravery. Those are some very painful memories Nesa and Pyran - thank you for your courage in sharing them with the rest of us. It must have been very hard for you to write those posts. One part catharsis, another generousity of spirit. The transformative powers of the chrysalis allows us to heal, transcend and shed the agonies of the past to reach the next stage of our development. Fulfillment and destiny conspire to give us release from the bondage of old wounds.
As for myself, I've never had any luck in that department either. Like many here, when I see Cupid's approach I make a mad dash for the 20mm anti-aircraft guns . . . . I've never been married, but been rung through enough agonizing dates and hollow relationships with souless, acquisitive women to qualify me for writing a combat manual rather than a pillow book. Such is the icy tone and timbre of our modern times that the act of courtship is more akin to a leveraged corporate merger than a fulfillment of our heart's longing.
At the end of the day I've learned one thing with certainty: for a relationship to last you must like the person before you can fall in love them. Forget about lust - it's ephemeral. Friendship is the foundation for all things worthwhile. It's the beacon light that guides us through the blasted heath and life would be a desolation without it.
Accordingly, perhaps it's wisest to warm one's heart to the gentle enveloping glow of tender companionship rather than be consumed by the heat of a fierce raging light that gutters as swiftly as it came . . . .
As searing as the pain can be, we gain character, deeper self-understanding and compassion from being put to the test and buffeted by Fate's whim. After every cruel dissappointment, failed affair, broken heart or shattered marriage we bitterly say to ourselves, "Never again", but I think it's a sign of great strength that we draw deep breath, steel ourselves for the shock and crawl back into the saddle to tilt at those windmills again (a bit slower, stiffer and more reluctantly after another unhorsing - yes - but we do it!)
And you know, sometimes, for all that, we're pleasantly surprised . . . .