Don't stay in a loveless relationship for anyone else's sake. No one is going to come along and give you all the time back to live again the way you wished you had.
Don't compromise and sacrifice yourself out of existence because you think it will keep the relationship together. You'll wake up one morning and find that you don't recognise that face in the mirror. There are things that truly matter to everyone no matter how silly or odd they may seem to everyone else.
The fact that you can shout louder and be meaner does make what you are saying right. Learn to listen and if you wish to be listened to then speak not yell. The count-to-ten rule works. Leaving the room and coming back when everyone is calmer works. Dragging out every tiny thing that ever went wrong in the entire relationship does not work.
If you can't understand or appreciate something that other does, that's alright. You can't always care for the same things. Being mean and derogatory about those activities is definitely not alright.
And this is probably a personal peeve but it really got to me ... don't ever take something that is deeply cared for without asking or at least telling first. And don't let all your friends and relatives help themselves either. In my case it was books. A great many 'vanished'.
Never lie or muck around with financial matters. If there is a problem be honest about it. It'll eventually come to the light anyway, usually at a point when it'll be the final straw that breaks the camel's back.
The big, grand gestures of romance are not the things that matter. They are fun and all but should be made to stand in for all the small things that really matter and cement a relationship together. The huge bouquet of flowers and box of chocolates does not equal not being around most every single weekend and every other time it ever mattered.
You other half is just that. She or he is not the maid or casual help.
And at the end as Max Ehrmann said all those years ago ... Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.
Last edited by Nesacat; 9th February 2007 at 09:39 AM.