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Alcatraz · 30th August 2006, 02:14 PM

Them (I hope you don't mind my shortening of you screen name),

Thank's very much for the tooth-combing of Chapter 1. I didn't realise I had such a heavy useage of HAD and THAT.

I wonder if I'm writing the same way as I think, which is Glaswegian English. I'll need to remember that I'm writing and not speaking.

I'll do a re-tinkering based on the above critiques, and re-post Chapter 1, and then I'll post Chapter 2 on a different thread.

Chapter 2 will introduce my third principle character, and (hopefully) draw you into the basis of the overall story.

Thank's again folks.

John

30th August 2006, 02:14 PM	#5 (permalink)
Alcatraz Decent Imagination Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 65	Re: Newbie request. Them (I hope you don't mind my shortening of you screen name), Thank's very much for the tooth-combing of Chapter 1. I didn't realise I had such a heavy useage of HAD and THAT. I wonder if I'm writing the same way as I think, which is Glaswegian English. I'll need to remember that I'm writing and not speaking. I'll do a re-tinkering based on the above critiques, and re-post Chapter 1, and then I'll post Chapter 2 on a different thread. Chapter 2 will introduce my third principle character, and (hopefully) draw you into the basis of the overall story. Thank's again folks. John