| Re: Newbie request. Them (I hope you don't mind my shortening of you screen name),
Thank's very much for the tooth-combing of Chapter 1. I didn't realise I had such a heavy useage of HAD and THAT.
I wonder if I'm writing the same way as I think, which is Glaswegian English. I'll need to remember that I'm writing and not speaking.
I'll do a re-tinkering based on the above critiques, and re-post Chapter 1, and then I'll post Chapter 2 on a different thread.
Chapter 2 will introduce my third principle character, and (hopefully) draw you into the basis of the overall story.
Thank's again folks.
John |