Avoid These Movies At All Costs!

[don sky]

It has come to my attention that there are some movie makers who have decided to create hrrible movies and mask them with awesome titles and interesting sounding plots! So I believe it is our duty to alert other members of this forum and the public at large to these awful excuses for movies!
For now, my list has;

1. Dracula 3000 (starring of all people, "Coolio"!)
2. Chronos (I cant believe its the same guy that did Hellboy)

Any others?

[I, Brian]

Ack!

Armageddon - now there's an utterly pointless film.

Think Deep Impact is the other - seem to remember watching that simply for the impact, which simply takes up about 30 seccs at the end of a long charade of human drama.

[GOLLUM]

Yep Deep Impact was very insubstantial.

BUT Battlefield Earth would have to be the worst Sci Fi film in fact make that film, I've probably seen YIKES!!

[knivesout]

I'd have to second Armageddon and Deep Impact. The problem with both movies was the human aspect -the characters were terribly shallow and cliched, and in Armageddon especially the human story was so transparently manipulative, not to mention way too unlikely - I really doubt theose people would seriously have been trusted with a mission to save the world in reality, and they adapt to working in space way too fast. Real life astronauts need a lot of training before they can undertake space missions. These people are pretty much picked up off their oil rig and hurled into space. In Deep Impact, the characters are Grisham/Crichton style cut-outs and again the human aspects of the story are too palpably manipulative.


Another movie to avoid is Basic, starring John Travolta and Samuel L Jackson. Travolta revisits familiar territory as a military investigator looking into the death of an officer duriing training exercises. Jackson also simply reprises his big badass persona. The story twists, and twists, and twists again the silliest display of pointless re-complication since Wild Things, and ends with a nauseatingly heart-warming ending that makes you suddenly, horrifyingly, realise that all those twists were not some ironic ploy - the movie makers really thought they were making a complex, rivetting movie! Wafer-thin characters again and the stars simply phone their performances in. Of the supporting cast, the less said the better.

[Winters_Sorrow]

I'll nominate Pearl Harbour for this tripe-fest.

Michael Bay & Bennifer at their worst, taking a story about human sacrifice and turning it into a soft-core porno for the next US army recruitment campaign.

Avoid.....or better still, buy as a christmas present for your Vogon in-laws or people you hold a grudge against.
If you received this as a present, be warned!

[ravenus]

Dracula 3000 (starring of all people, "Coolio"!)

Dracula 3000 is a cool title?

Chronos (I cant believe its the same guy that did Hellboy)

Even I couldn't...in a good way. Cronos (not Chronos, to be precise) was a fairly innovative take on the vampire genre with a nice mix of humor and sympathy with the horror aspects. It got somewhat muddled towards the end and I'm a bit troubled by the unusually calm attitude with which the little girl takes her grandfather's descent into vampirism, but it was still far away from the FX overblown, corn&tripe-laden fanboy appeasing borefest that was Hellboy.
That was hell, boy

Anyway you shoud be happy now because Cronos was made before HB so it represents an improvement by Guillermo del Toro to Blade 2 and Hellboy.

[ravenus]

Armageddon especially the human story was so transparently manipulative, not to mention way too unlikely - I really doubt theose people would seriously have been trusted with a mission to save the world in reality, and they adapt to working in space way too fast. Real life astronauts need a lot of training before they can undertake space missions. These people are pretty much picked up off their oil rig and hurled into space.

Damn. I'm sure the people behind the film will feel extremely hurt at your lack of appreciation for their dedication to verisimilitude

Armageddon was made for people who like to see lots of pointless explosions and guys talking all macho...and it succeeded immensely with its target audience. You should save the criticisms for the pretentious films like Ghostworld and Signs which try to fool their audiences into believing that they are something other than uninspired turds.

[knivesout]

Signs was total idiocy, too. Another example of simply relying on twists, without realising that the story has to be twisted into something interesting!

[Wolfeborn]

Lost in translation If i wanted to see a documnetary about some anoying bloke on holiday id watch dicovery home and leisure or travelshop or something, arg this film was totaly pointless, I have never seen a film where soo little happens the only redeaming scences are when bill murray is beeing mildy funy. ahhh dont watch this film its terrible,.

You could ay that this is an insight into the lives of 2 peiople who find friendship and could have had more but were too scared/ different to find it, in a similar way to casablanca only problem is it is done in sucha dull lacluster way I still to this day can not beleive i sat through this.
though granted its not a sci fi movie but thought id whack it in as one of the all time worst movies ever.

[Leto]

As Lost in translation is not SF&F no problem with it.

I second Armageddon (I even try to get a refund of my ticket mid-projection as it was so bad), and would have add Reign of Fire in the mix and most Night M Shamalayan movies. Don't understand all the buzz around his movies, so ridiculously previsible.

[cyborg_cinema]

Originally Posted by knivesout

...Armageddon...the characters were terribly shallow and cliched, and in Armageddon especially...

...agreed.

I think that was due to camp effect. A mission to land on an astroid to drill holes seems ridiculous. Sending mostly oil rig drilling specialists seems even more ridiculous.

[dreamwalker]

Originally Posted by Leto

....most Night M Shamalayan movies. Don't understand all the buzz around his movies, so ridiculously previsible.

I thought Unbreakable was really well done, good story/acting/direction and twist... IMHO

[dreamwalker]

I also liked armeggedon,
any film where Paris gets annalihated with such style gets the thumbs up from me, in all honestly I probably watched the film so many times for that one part.

The neverending story on the other hand...
Any film that ends in 'oh, it was a dream... or was it?' should be boycotted from screening, anywhere.

[cyborg_cinema]

Originally Posted by dreamwalker

...Unbreakable...

...I liked it too. That fight scene where Bruce Willis was used to make holes in the drywall was memorable. A more believable superman; less like the comic strip takeoffs we're used to seeing.

[Leto]

@dreamwalker : another proof stupidity has no border ?