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| Humour General playroom for all humour and jokes and anything slightly titillating... |
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| | #1 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 112
| Common rants Pound for pound the ant is perhaps the fastest and most traveled thing on land. No wonder the etiquette of leaving things just the way they met them There is only one thing you need in life, a chair. Its all entertainment Why didn’t saddam make an apology call before the invasions? Better still why can’t he call a bail bonds man now? Have you ever noticed while driving that anyone faster than you is a moron and anyone slower is retarded The reason why we can’t find the meaning to life is because we are too busy wrestling with ours, which is perhaps the meaning of life. You need experience to gain a job and a job to get experience If there is no life without death and no death without life, where does life begin? Maybe at 40, at that age you are guaranteed the two The integrity of a man should not be judged by how much responsibility he has, but by all means how much he is clearly trying to avoid Why can’t we travel through time? Well, because the universe is infinite in magnitude and direction. Bon voyage! I’ve never really understood religion. I sure don’t understand the nature, artistic, and scientific reference of the pope’s hat |
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| | #5 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 112
| Re: Common rants If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, what about good? No one ever mentioned that Children are just like any other society. A few winners and a whole lot of loosers If honesty is suddenly introduced into any society it will collapse If we are to go about with what we feel, no one will go to work and everyone will be making more children Politicians get a bad rep. Yes politicians get a bad rep. They are the best we can come up with Why do women get so pretentious, back in those days cave men just kidnapped one People are like advertisement, encourage competition by telling them they suck Your neigbour doesn't like you because you are too quiet and dirty, its about time you showed up with with a .30 caliber SMG Men are like wine, gets better with age. Women well... feel better with age Contrary to popular opinion Jesus never carried a brief case or wore any disney products. He sure wasn't joking about the whole soul stuff |
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| | #8 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 112
| Re: Common rants How can you be a vegetarian and still drink milk. Now that's what I call inconsistency Everybody reads but ironically the ones that do not believe everything they read are the smart ones I have never understood martial arts. Which came first to the inventors? The martial or the arts? If light always overcomes darkness, then what happens when you turn off all the lights and there is no sun Attention! Rest area ahead! But in New York you are probably safer in your car! Paid for by the wonderful public of the state of New York America was founded by slave owners who wanted to be free Intelligence is the opposite of freedom.Might explain why American people are so "free" Life is not always so serious and hectic, its just hecticly serious most of the time According to the Catholic church's elections of the pope the man upstairs is not in favor of democracy, we are surely of the same image, no wrong doing here |
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| | #12 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 112
| Re: Common rants Rides you never want to hitch, not even in the outer galaxy We will leave at four in the morning so that we will get there at four in the morning My tires aren’t really good and I just borrowed the engine for this trip, and caress the ropes as seat belts Yeah! We just buried half our friends 30 miles back We all had chilly bean dip for lunch We just shipped in from Iraq two days ago Make sure you keep a second eye on your sex organs at all times Not that important but if we happen to get stopped by the police get your stuff and bail! Yeah! I just left my psychiatrist’s myself Do you also think I’m too old to be driving? I mean I’m only 81 years young Get in; just mind the Mexicans in the cargo area |
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| | #15 (permalink) | |
| Easily Distracted Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 369
| Re: Common rants Quote:
Reat Area Ahead No facilities. Next Rest Area 110 miles. (Most of the rest areas are safe. The entire state doesn't have the crime of NYC.) | |
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