How else do I say...?

[HareBrain]

Rats, is it too late to suggest "dispenser"? (Or "Dispensor", for a more heroic feel.)

I think you should at least make it "Bringor".

[Esfires]

If you like the sound of the phrase, you still might consider making it something like "Bearer of Justice." I think the phrase works fine, I'd just look up some alternatives to the word "Bringer."

[springs]

Awfully useful thread this, Mouse. I'm not happy with the obviously paid off bit of this, I could go rubbed off, but I'm not sure that's quite right, either....



They swapped the children over and Sam smiled at Nina’s words; being married to a post-trauma specialist had obviously paid off for her - he’d heard few better diagnoses from his students

[hopewrites]

Obviously had its perks?

I take it you don't want it to sound as though these benefits were a major deciding factor for the marriage originally.

[springs]

No, it's not coming across in one line - I should have stuck more up (but that means a lot of words). He's a post trauma specialist and is worried about his friend, and she's recited off a diagnostic outcome. So its how his knowledge has permeated to her...

[hopewrites]

Then its her being in love enough to want to talk to him about the things that interest him intelligently, the upshot being she remembered something of his work that is of use to him latter.


Ohhh! Upshot would work wouldn't it.

No it woulent.


It felt nice to know she had payed attention to him when grousing about the lazier students, and proud she came up with a diagnosis that would put some of his better students on their toes.


Or something more intelligant but like.

[springs]

Upshot, I like upshot. Cheers, Hope.

[Mouse]

This is so bad I'm almost embarrassed to post it. But how else can I word this line?

An old white VW Beetle roared its way up the road, startling a Yorkshire terrier out for a walk with its owner and setting the creature off to yapping.

Bear in mind I wrote it earlier on, and have written so much today (for me) that my brain now can't function properly.

[RJM Corbet]

An old white VW Beetle roared its way up the road, startling a Yorkshire terrier that was out for a walk with its owner and setting it off yapping.

Not too sure about 'roared'. May be a better word for that distinctive Beetle sound?

[Mouse]

You'd add a 'that' and a 'was!'

Setting it off yapping or making it yap or something like that is definitely better. Ta.

I don't know how else to describe that Beetle sound. It's a sort of... growl.

[RJM Corbet]

It's just a tweak. The image is clear enough

[TheDustyZebra]

I was thinking "chugging", but I asked the office, and Robert says, "well, it's not chugging," and then he suggested "pluggering". I don't think that's a word, but he says anything is a word if you just "word it."

[HareBrain]

A Beetle's sound is worth taking a paragraph to describe. Some words and phrases you might like to use:

Clattered
Rattled
Bag of spanners
Tank tracks
Tappets
All the demons of hell
An original one, not that ill-conceived abomination of a VW marketing ploy to sell more Golf chassis
Blatted

[Boneman]

it's a lot of action for one sentence, and far too many 'ings'. Maybe:

An old white VW Beetle roared its way up the road. It startled a Yorkshire terrier out for a walk with its owner, and the dog yapped its anger as it passed.

The creature could be the owner in your version...

[Parson]

Probably too late, but I'd say VW's especially "bugs" putter. But to set the terrier off you might say "sputtered" up the hill.