Use your character voice!

[Mouse]

But a bang to me is a sound. So the bang of joiner's mallet doesn't work for me. I have no ideas what he could've used other than bang.

[Ursa major]

Banging has many meanings, Mouse, not all of them necessarily involving loud sounds....


*cough*



Or would you rather believe that the author was hammered when he wrote that text.

[Mouse]

Originally Posted by Ursa major

Banging has many meanings, Mouse, not all of them involving loud sounds....

Oh come on! You know I can only think of one other meaning.

Anywho, I probably wouldn't have been bothered about it if I'd read it in the book.

[springs]

Sometimes it's just people banging on.....

[Cynric]

Originally Posted by Mouse

I dislike similes intently. Are they those 'like a muted drum,' 'like a joiner's mallet' things? If they are, hate them. Who the hell thinks like that? I think 'joiner's mallet' is particularly awful and if my heart ever sounded like a joiner's mallet I'd be going straight to the doctors!

Yeah my reaction to creative similes is usually: "hmm, bit contrived." It just seems an intrusion of the author's writerly writing. Fine if the aim is technical prowess (e.g. literary fiction), but I personally prefer a light touch style in plot-driven stories. Bit of an artificial distinction, I suppose, but it jars me out of the story when a particularly baroque simile intrudes.

That said, the rest of the passage, in terms of character insight, human insight, and the generation of tension are very impressive, so I don't doubt his talent.

[I, Brian]

Originally Posted by Mouse

'like a joiner's mallet' . Who the hell thinks like that?

It's a mediaeval fantasy, so it's a relevant cultural similie. It also shows the character is from a working class environment rather than a privileged one. And a joiner using a mallet on a chisel will be working quite fast, so we get an indication of both sound and pace.

In that regard, it's a clever use of words by carrying more than one meaning, while also bringing a realism of detail into the character part and how they relate to the world.

Certainly better than a flat cliche.

[Mouse]

A joiner's mallet will never sound like a heartbeat, medieval or otherwise, to me, so we'll have to agree to disagree, Brian.

[Galacticdefender]

Sometimes I find similes annoying in books that I'm reading, unless it particularly poetic or something. I generally like a straightforward description of things though.