A Pun Or Two...

[mosaix]

From yesterday's Guardian:

I had a very happy childhood. Dad loved to put me inside a tyre and roll me downhill. They were good years.

The Canadian government has set up a lottery. Only for people in the north. You have to be Inuit to win it.

I love eBay. I've sold my homing pigeon eight times.

I phoned Seaworld the other day. They told me 'your call may be monitored for training porpoises'.

I've got a brilliant new guard dog. He won't let anyone in. He's a UK border collie.

You won't like me when I'm angry. I back up my rage with documented facts and sources. I'm the Credible Hulk.

[Boneman]

Blimey! The Guardian has a sense of humour?? Good ones...

[Ursa major]

(They sound very like the sort of material Stewart Francis, the Canadian comedian, uses.)