How much detail?

[HMart]

Originally Posted by springs1971

Enough to know what's happening, not so much it sends me to sleep, and avoiding purple for purple's sake.

If we could only break that whole equation down into a perfect little chart, we'd all be in business

[TheDustyZebra]

Originally Posted by HMart

If we could only break that whole equation down into a perfect little chart, we'd all be in business

Ohhhh, Chrispy...?

[HMart]

Originally Posted by TheDustyZebra

Ohhhh, Chrispy...?

There's a chart I missed somewhere?

[I, Brian]

Originally Posted by Hex

How much detail should one include?

As little and as concisely as possible, I should think.

If picking up a suitcase is relevant to the story then it should be mentioned; but in doing so you should consider mentioning the impact on the character - is it light, heavy, exhausting to carry?

Both points can be mentioned succinctly in passing, or with more detail as the story requires - which is the crucial factor.

IMO.

[David Evil Overlord]

Just don't let your characters try picking up Terry Pratchett's Luggage, or the impact on them will be mentioned in their obituaries.

[Teresa Edgerton]

Stage business (picking up suitcases, slipping into coats, turning out the lights, etc.) can help to bring a scene to life ... not to mention break up an interminable pattern of "he said, she said." How much detail you want to use in describing that business is a matter of personal taste (reader's and writer's), but a few words here and there to show what a character is doing isn't likely to slow down a scene, and may even seem to speed it up (talking heads are usually* boring, and boring is slow, no matter how lean the prose).

As a matter of personal taste, I'm one of those readers who can be easily distracted waiting for the other shoe to drop.


*I said usually. If the writer sets up the scene skillfully enough, and the dialogue is handled with equal skill, it won't be boring. Otherwise, it puts people like me to sleep.

[TheDustyZebra]

Originally Posted by HMart

There's a chart I missed somewhere?

No, I just figured if there was going to be one, Chrispy would be the one to make it! Not that I don't like charts myself (and have one like Chrispy's challenge stories chart, albeit about a year lighter than his because I'm also lazy), but ...err... I'm lazy.

[Gumboot]

My personal view is that if the suitcase was important enough to mention picking it up, it's important enough to mention putting it down.

[Peter Graham]

Hi Hex,

Include only what is relevant to the story. To plagiarise one of my heroes, beardie dreamer William Morris, "write nothing which is not necessary for the plot or which does not improve the story".

I mean -- if in one part of a scene someone picks up a suitcase, do you need to mention that they put it down again?

If the fact that they no longer have the suitcase is directly relevant to the plot (for example, there was something in it which they come to wish they'd brought with them later on) or if the putting down of the suitcase can point to story development (perhaps the character is absent minded and this would be a way of showing that, rather than telling it), then yes. Otherwise, don't bother. You'll end up writing stage directions, not fiction.

Regards,

Peter

[Montero]

I'm the sort of reader that wonders where the suitcase got to. So if it is picked up, I prefer it to be accounted for. As a writer I try and make such stuff multi-purpose so

A techie person might rub their handle embedded hand and think "must invent better"

An upwardly mobile wannabe might rub their handle embedded hand and think "must buy better" or "must afford a chauffeur"

Or they could be unpacking it later with brief backstory hints from taking out photo/favourite jumper/new expensive suit which has bl**dy well creased etc.

[HareBrain]

Originally Posted by Montero

I'm the sort of reader that wonders where the suitcase got to.

Me too. I think I'm quite a visual reader, so I will picture the character with the suitcase until I'm told they've dropped it or their putting it down becomes obvious (eg if they go to bed). So if they do something, such as running, that would be affected by whether they still had the suitcase or not, I'd probably read back to see if they still had it, and if I can't work it out, bad things happen to my brain.

And I agree that if you need to say the character puts down the case, you should make the action do something else too, so it seems more than just a stage direction.

[Hex]

But you wouldn't want me to put in an extra bit to explain what happened to the suitcase if things jumped forwards in time? For example:

I picked up my suitcase. "Goodbye, Charles. Good luck," I said, closing the door behind me.

#

The next morning, I jumped out of bed and dashed into the shower...

[David Evil Overlord]

Originally Posted by Hex

But you wouldn't want me to put in an extra bit to explain what happened to the suitcase if things jumped forwards in time? For example:

I picked up my suitcase. "Goodbye, Charles. Good luck," I said, closing the door behind me.

#

The next morning, I jumped out of bed and dashed into the shower...

Only if the suitcase is waiting for him in the shower, intent upon evil...

[HareBrain]

Originally Posted by Hex

But you wouldn't want me to put in an extra bit to explain what happened to the suitcase if things jumped forwards in time? For example:

I picked up my suitcase. "Goodbye, Charles. Good luck," I said, closing the door behind me.

#

The next morning, I jumped out of bed and dashed into the shower...

No, but I would like to be sure she's picking up the suitcase and closing the door with different hands, otherwise I might picture her trying to do both with one hand, which could only give an impression of clumsy, fumbling incompetence.

[AnyaKimlin]

No and I don't need the extra explanation about how she closed the dog.

My issue would be if it suddenly went missing during an indvidual scene.