Writing Workshop Group - TOEGTW Exercise Discussion: Please Read First Post

[Vertigo]

Originally Posted by Glen

...I would have preferred to assign the original piece to the bin, and start afresh.

Yeah there were a couple of bits where I felt the same

[Vertigo]

I cheated a little with the restatement exercise in that I took a recent post of mine and adapted it . I will try and take a closer look at the posted submissions and comment on them but I don't think it will be until tomorrow (dinner is calling now).

Actually I have a bit of a problem with the restatement stuff, although it may just be a terminology thing. To me restatement means to say the same thing several times in different ways. But all the examples in this chapter seem to be saying different things in the same way. This seems to me more like the syntactic patterning from ch13.

[Vertigo]

A few comments on the submissions for chapters 14 and 15.

Ch14a
Seems like none of us were too impressed with the piece we were commenting on for this one!

Ch14b
I had difficulty with this topic so my comments will probably reflect that! Springs’ restatement seemed to be within two of the sentences, “Finished, complete, en finato” and “fly, little WIP, fly” maybe I’ve missed some, but is this restatement? I’m not sure. If I’ve got it right, I think Glen had it quite well: “They need water”, “Early and plentiful drinking of water”, and “water supplies” (not so sure about that one). Moonbat uses the repeated word technology in much the same way that the book example on pirates use the phrase “there were pirates” but again I’m not sure if Moonbat’s quite makes it as restatement. Aber’s seems to use explore in much the same way again but maybe with more variation in form making it less repetitive. I really did much the same in my own, except that I introduced the dart gun and then subsequently used ‘it’ or ‘they’ to avoid monotony but then does that mean I didn’t achieve restatement at all? I’m not really criticising the entries here, I suspect the problem is that I struggled to nail this idea down for myself.

Ch14c
I think Moonbat is the only one to have tackled this one, and seems to have done it fine! Although, again, I had problems with this idea as well. The book says that an illustration is one of several possible cases, whilst specification covers all the cases. However, how can you say all the cases have been covered? Again I struggle to see the difference!

Ch15
The material on comparing and contrasting I found much more straightforward (thank goodness!).

I thought both of Springs first two were organised around the points of difference. In the first I think you should have fully discussed all the points about Abendau before moving on to present the contrasting points for Dignad, ie. organised around subject not the points. Both of your paragraphs seemed to deal with one point of difference between each and then move on to another point of difference. I think Glen’s (slightly vitriolic!) comparison showed the two techniques better. Though I notice he didn’t go on to show the similarities (maybe there aren’t any J). I actually found the difference between the two techniques, organising around subject or points of difference/similarity, quite interesting. I’ve never consciously done this before and the two approaches do seem to shift the emphasis between the subject and the points.

[springs]

Yes, apologies, this was rather rushed in between getting the wip ready to submit. I will pay much greater attention this week.... promise. (brain dead tonight, though, long day at work, not helped by the kids waking me at 3.30 when I had a 5am alarm call...)

[Vertigo]

Don't you just love the sweet little things?

[Glen]

I've posted my response to the exercises for Ch 16. I'm the first in, I believe; and I have also brought an apple for the teacher.



I think we took a couple of weeks for Chs 14-15, so will we use this week for Chs 16-17? Ch 17 looks at first glance like a long haul, but its mostly examples of the same thing, and at the end we have made it through a whole section – the expository para.

I find 16 B) a bit weird to write. As usual I did not read the question properly and did the whole thing with both reason and effect linked together. I had to split them out.

That made it a good, challenging exercise, but I can’t think of how I would actually write that way for real. Any thoughts?

[Vertigo]

It does seem like we've slipped a week. I've been up to my eyes in stuff and am guilty of not getting the exercises done yet for 16-17.

I must admit I found both these chapters a little less applicable to creative writing. Sure you have to do cause and effect but I think the approach tends to be a little different for creative writing. In the same way 17 also seemed a little less applicable. I suppose in fantasy and SF there is a need to define words that people won't know ('cos we made 'em up!) but the Analysis and Qualification bits seem less useful to us. Maybe that's why we've been so quiet this time!

I will try and get something done in the next day or so.

I am particularly looking forward to the next section on sentences as I think that looks really useful.

[Glen]

Slam, dunk, chapter 17 exercises posted. Hurrah!

I wasn't sure about Ch 17 C) - identifying the qualifications. It will be interesting to see what others make of it.

[Vertigo]

I was't much clearer than you on identifying the qualifications Glen! It all seems so clear until you try to apply it.

Also I notice that I must be in your socially challenged category of walker

[Glen]

lol. my theme came from the book - he suggested we discuss a solitary activity, like hiking. Well it may or may not be. I reckon he's the kind of fellow that takes to the hills with a stout stick, his pipe, a flask and is glad to leave the world of poorly written prose and misused apostrophes behind him.

I'm not averse to a bit of solitary hiking myself.

[Vertigo]

Ah did you not notice that I picked the same theme for my piece and I definitely come into the solitary walker category!

[Glen]

Originally Posted by Moonbat

It is no co-incidence that Hitler wore a moustache.

Hilarious.

[Vertigo]

Yes that bit tickled me!

I'm afraid I'm not going to be commenting on submissions this session; I have just run out of time. Tomorrow I have to start driving from home (north Scotland) to the South West corner of France (Perignan). Pick up my mum and all her stuff and immediately start driving back. I expect to be back home Friday and I don't expect to be online at all throughout that time.