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Old 27th March 2012, 02:26 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Needing help with a German conversation

The following exchange takes place in my WIP and I'm sure my own grasp of German isn't up to the task.

“Miss Lears, this is Lola. Lola, this is-“

“Wir haben uns vor, ich denken getroffen.”

Miss Lears arched an eyebrow. Wirklich? Ich kann nicht mich vorstellen wo.”

Vor Friedrichshafen, vier Jahren. Sie haven' t geändert.”

“Keine haben Sie. Sie waren eine Dirne dann und you' bezüglich einer Dirne jetzt.”

Lola smiled. “Sie waren ein Weibchen dann und you' bezüglich eines Weibchens jetzt. Mindestens, was ich tue, ist durch Wahl.”

Any help would be appreciated!
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Old 27th March 2012, 12:58 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Re: Needing help with a German conversation

I have a German lodger who should be able to help. Is this meant to be 'pure' correct German or broken German. I ask because, although my knowledge of German is almost zero, the words "haven't" and "you'" don't look very German to me Also It might help if you give us the English of what you want to be said as well.

He's had a quick look and some of the grammar is wrong for example "Ich Kann mir nicht vorstellen wo" would be correcty, and the two words I mentioned are not German.

As I say if you give us the English Andreas will be able to give you the German.

Last edited by Vertigo; 27th March 2012 at 01:14 PM.
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Old 27th March 2012, 01:15 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Re: Needing help with a German conversation

I'm assuming that the first line is something like "We've already met, I think."

My German is very poor, so I'm having to guess as much as literally translate the words vorhaben, treffen, etc. (which first led me to wonder whether Lola intended to hit the person to whom she was being introduced ; luckily, the tenses being used didn't fit that interpretation).
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Old 28th March 2012, 09:34 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Re: Needing help with a German conversation

Hi
I'll have a crack at it. I'm not German, I do speak a passable German though.
I am not sure if I have caught the mood but a more correct version of what you wrote could be the following:

"Miss Lears, this is Lola. Lola, this is-"

"Wir haben uns vor, ich denken getroffen."
"Ich denke wir haben uns schon getroffen"

Miss Lears arched an eyebrow. "Wirklich? Ich kann nicht mich vorstellen wo."

"Vor Friedrichshafen, vier Jahren. Sie haven' t geändert."
" In Friedrichshafen ,vor vier jahren. Sie habe sich nicht geändert"

"Keine haben Sie. Sie waren eine Dirne dann und you' bezüglich einer Dirne jetzt."
" Sie auch nicht. Sie waren damals eine Dirne, und sie sind immernoch eine Dirne."

Lola smiled. "Sie waren ein Weibchen dann und you' bezüglich eines Weibchens jetzt. Mindestens, was ich tue, ist durch Wahl."

"Sie waren ein weibchen dann und sind es immernoch. Zumindest ist was ich tue, gewählt"

Vertigos german lodger would most likely do a better job of it, but without the english version of the exchange, its hard to know if the correct meaning is conveyed.
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Old 28th March 2012, 10:29 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Re: Needing help with a German conversation

Sorry about this! I fell back on a Bablefish translation for the sentence structure, and I really should have known better. The scene is set in the UK and the MC is making the introductions only to find the two women have already met.

So, in English…


“Miss Lears, this is Lola. Lola, this is-“

“I believe we’ve met before.”

Miss Lears arched an eyebrow. “Really? I can’t imagine where.”

“In Friedrichshafen, four years ago, You haven’t changed.”

“Neither have you. You were a whore then and you’re a whore now.”

Lola smiled. “And you were a bitch then and you’re a bitch now. At least what I am is through choice”.

I had no idea what was going on but the conversation was clearly escalating towards DefCon-1, so I took the data case from Lola and held it out. “Ladies, please, we’re in public.”


I hope this clarifies matters!
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Old 28th March 2012, 11:42 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Re: Needing help with a German conversation

Hey, just found this forum because of the Magic / Science thread... so I started browsing. So I found this and thought I might as well share my insight for being german myself

-------------------------------------


“Miss Lears, this is Lola. Lola, this is-“

“I believe we’ve met before.”
"Ich denke wir haben uns bereits getroffen."

Miss Lears arched an eyebrow. “Really? I can’t imagine where.”
"Wirklich? Ich kann mir nicht vorstellen wo."

“In Friedrichshafen, four years ago, You haven’t changed.”
"In Friedrichshafen, vor vier Jahren. Sie haben sich nicht geändert."

“Neither have you. You were a whore then and you’re a whore now.”
"Sie auch nicht. Sie waren damals eine Hure und sind heute noch eine Hure."

Lola smiled. “And you were a bitch then and you’re a bitch now. At least what I am is through choice”.
"Und Sie waren damals schon eine Schlampe und sind heute noch eine Schlampe. Immerhin ist das was ich tue freiwillig."

I had no idea what was going on but the conversation was clearly escalating towards DefCon-1, so I took the data case from Lola and held it out. “Ladies, please, we’re in public.”


I hope this clarifies matters!

-----------------
michael_mn translation was pretty good just some tweaks here and there and a one or two leftover questions:

1. "At least what I am is through choice" and "Zumindest ist was ich tue, gewählt" are pretty close translations, but no one would say it that way.
My "Immerhin ist das was ich tue freiwillig" is more normal even if it's not exactly what you wrote in english. 'Freiwillig' is when you do something from your free will, which means more or less the same like if you do something through choice but it sounds way better in german.

2. There is a difference between a formal 'you' (Sie - shows more respect. Used for talks with most adult strangers, especially older people, your boss or something like that) and a non-formal 'you' (Du - for friends, conversations with children, family, etc.) So it would make a difference if you go with 'Sie' or with 'Du' in this.

3. 'Hure' is mostly a woman who takes money for sex, or trades sex for favours which more or less would equal money. 'Schlampe' is just a woman who is very open and direct about sex, with no regards for things in return, she just likes to have sex and doesn't hide it. There are some other possibilities for a translation so I was notsure what to use for 'whore' and 'bitch'

Hope I could help
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Old 28th March 2012, 11:51 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Re: Needing help with a German conversation

Thanks for this!

Lola is working as a hostess in a UK club with a sideline as escort. Miss Lears is a control-freak bitch who only has sex on her own terms - when it come sto men she is always the dominant partner.

Cheers!
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Old 28th March 2012, 12:04 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Re: Needing help with a German conversation

“I believe we’ve met before.”
"Ich denke wir haben uns bereits getroffen."

Miss Lears arched an eyebrow. “Really? I can’t imagine where.”
"Wirklich? Ich kann mir nicht vorstellen wo."

“In Friedrichshafen, four years ago, You haven’t changed.”
"In Friedrichshafen, vor vier Jahren. Sie haben sich nicht geändert."

“Neither have you. You were a whore then and you’re a whore now.”
"Sie auch nicht. Sie waren damals eine Hure und Sie sind heute noch eine Hure."

Lola smiled. “And you were a bitch then and you’re a bitch now. At least what I am is through choice”.
"Und Sie waren damals schon eine Schlampe und Sie sind heute noch eine Schlampe. Immerhin habe ich das, was ich tue, selbst gewählt."


I think that should to the trick. No Problem.
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Old 28th March 2012, 01:58 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Re: Needing help with a German conversation

OK my lodger, Andreas is happy with Neirin's second version. Except with the use of Schlampe (sort of slut apparently). He would prefer one of the following as matching our use of bitch more closely:

Miststück - Piece of sh*t
Dummezeige - stupid goat (female) (Andreas' 'preference')
Mistvieh - cowsh*t

Apparently all tend be used in the same way as we would use bitch.
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Old 28th March 2012, 02:41 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Re: Needing help with a German conversation

"Dumme Ziege" is really nice... though I would rather use "Miststück" but that's not really relevant which one you use.
Here implemented, because it's a little bit different whether you use the first or the second.

"Und Sie waren damals schon eine dumme Ziege und Sie sind heute noch eine dumme Ziege. Immerhin habe ich das, was ich bin, selbst gewählt."
or
"Und Sie waren damals schon ein Miststück und Sie sind heute noch ein Miststück. Immerhin habe ich das, was ich bin, selbst gewählt."

Changed one word extra, because she says that she is a whore but she choose to be one, the other woman didn't choose to be a bitch, she simply is.
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Old 28th March 2012, 02:50 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Re: Needing help with a German conversation

Andreas Is in agreement! He has changed his mind too and agrees that Miststück is probably better (it has a bit more bite to it apparently whereas Dumme Ziege is more general and more stupid than nasty).
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Old 28th March 2012, 03:12 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Re: Needing help with a German conversation

I am clearly outmatched in the Teutonic word feud and so I shall bow out gracefully
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Old 28th March 2012, 04:16 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Re: Needing help with a German conversation

Thanks all!
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