David Rathband RIP...

[Gary Compton]

I'm really saddened that this brave man decided to end it all. He lived in my town and I wish I'd known him so I could've tried to help.

By the sounds of it he died a lonely man. His wife had left him which IMO is pretty bad considering what he'd been through. I think that whatever problems he had she could've tried harder to support him and keep the family together.

It was pretty obvious when she left him that that would be the end of him. I don't think Northumbria police did enough either, in one of his last Tweets he said something like, "no job, no eyes, no wife, no kids..." etc.

Surely as a blind person the police could of found something for him to do.

It's typical of us Brits who bang on about, "The emergency services, the police, our brave soldiers in Afghanistan - blah de blah." and yet when the chips are down we do "F" all to support them in their time of need.

It's a disgrace!!

Anybody agree or disagree?

[The Judge]

Er... I would be very hesitant at casting blame on a woman of whom we know nothing. It's all very well saying she should have stuck to him, but we don't know how he behaved towards her, nor what she had to suffer. For all we know they were on the point of separating beforehand.

As for the police, it's my understanding that he was assured a job would be created for him. So again, I don't think we can simply blame them.

People in the throes of depression push everyone away. Neither those who are pushed, nor those pushing, can be blamed for it.

The guilt for this poor man's death lies firmly on the murdering thug who blinded him, leaving him in constant pain and feeling he had lost everything.

[Gary Compton]

Don't agree. If the shoe had been on the other foot. The police officer would have been berated for not supporting his wife. If they were on the verge of seperating, which is possible, then surely any caring person would try to support their partner who'd fathered her children despite his/their problems.

Two years for the police to find him a job is a joke. Truth is they'd forgotten about him and moved on. The Chief Constable bubbling at his demise was her releasing the guilt she felt at letting the man down.

My opinions, you don't have to agree. I live in Blyth and I know more than I can say!!

[springs]

In my understanding, he said in one of his last tweets that his wife couldn't have done more for him, and he behaved very poorly to her. that also included at least one incidence of domestic abuse, according to the papers. (pretty much across the board.)
I have experience - not my own, thankfully, but close enough to be in the fall out of someone struggling in this way - and as TJ says they push everyone away to the extent where self preservation may become a concern for the partner.
The blame doesn't lie with the wife - it's just an easy finger to point - or the police, who seem to have followed this up several times, but with the perpetrator; in this case Moat.
And it's always worth remembering that when there is a suicide, only one person took that choice; I'm sure his wife has enough guilt to live with without our judgement.

The old saying of walk a mile comes to mind, and I've supported some people who have walked that mile, and it's very very difficult, and no choices are easy during it.

[The Judge]

I do think you're wrong, Gary. And personally, I think that this is the great vice of the English today -- to seek to blame other people. We see it all over when someone dies -- a witch hunt begins. And I use the word "witch" advisedly -- because if the man had left his wife in this situation he would have received very little public opprobrium because he would not be expected to stay put.

The fact that she is a woman means the gut reaction of most people is she should be caring, wifely, motherly and all the rest of it. Therefore anything she does which somehow falls short of absolute Virgin-Mary perfection means she is villified -- witness the furore over Lindy Chamberlain and Kate McCann because they did not present themselves as falling to pieces as a mother clearly should.

So, Mrs Rathband should have remained with a man who was abusing her. She should have suffered in silence. It's all her fault.

No. The fault begins and ends with Moat. It's a great pity that David Rathband did not have the mental strength to continue after the terrible injuries he sustained. But that is not the fault of his wife, nor the police.

[Gary Compton]

I do agree with you TJ on Moat and David Rathband was dead the day he got shot.

It's very sad, anyway God bless him and good luck to his remaining family including his wife.