Discussion 75 Word Challenge -- MARCH

[Warren_Paul]

Originally Posted by David Evil Overlord

Okay, now that the voting is over, I can comment without influencing the voters. The rabbit was supposed to already be animated.* My fault if I didn't make that clear enough.

Next time, instead of "the rabbit shifted slightly", I'll use words that convey a definite sense of an unliving thing moving about - "the rabbit sat up", or "the rabbit tried to hop, and fell in a steaming puddle of its own intestines".

Must work on those intense visuals, too. Just not intense enough.

*No backyard burial in a shoebox for the beloved pet of a necromancer's child. At least, not for long...

Always so annoying when you see changes you should have made after it's already posted... There was one line in mine I thought should have been changed.

That's why, even though I've already written my 75-word for April, I'm not posting it yet, will leave it there for a week or so, then look at it again.

[nixie]

Congratulations Cul, both stories were great. Good work with the Graphs Moonbat.

[hopewrites]

I got that the rabbit was reanimated, it blinked at me with sad not quite as vacant as they should be eyes, after watching its reanimator loose her innards.
(I know you said it had only one milky eye, but I gave it two all-pupil ones because it looked more doleful that way.)

[AnyaKimlin]

Mine was probably a bit obscure this month. I loved playing with second person though.

I posted it and forgot to add the title which changes it a little:

10th April 1912
You dive down into the darkest, coldest cavern following the haunting melody. With each note of the tune your flippers push the water back creating a strong current that pushes you forward. Hour, after hour you travel like this, the surreal depths giving no respite, not even a tiny pin prick of light.

Finally, the small ray of hope keeps growing. You surface near Boleskine House and await further instructions from Master Crowley.

Extra info:
10th April 1912 was the date the Titanic set sail.
Boleskine House is on the banks of Loch Ness and was owned by Aleister Crowley until 1913.

A 1980s cartoon was the inspiration:

[Mouse]

Is that FamilyNess, Anya?

[AnyaKimlin]

yes lol don't ask me how I got from that to Aleister Crowley ordering Nessie to sink the Titanic

[Mouse]

Love it. (I now have that theme tune stuck in my head though!)

[AnyaKimlin]

LOL see it is a haunting melody That's what happened the kids were watching it in the morning and it got stuck in my head. OK now have to work on the 300 - it is proving a problem because I already have several stories about that statue.

[stormcrow]

Belated congratulations to Culhwch: a well-deserved win!

Well done Pyan - that was a great challenge you mounted!

I'll be posting Das Unheimliche on the 'Improving our 75...' thread, as I'd welcome any specific feedback around what any of you thought of it.

[crystal haven]

I don't think I've said congratulations either.

So congratulations, Culhwch! A very moving story.

And Pyan, congratulations to you too. Your story was on my shortlist.