It Wont Happen to Me Society

[rune]

Ive read the odd thread about Whitney Houston having died today at 48. It is tragic, however, she had a drug addiction.
Ive had to live with an addict as a child - my Mam - she also died at 48.

Ive grown to believe that some folks live in the world "It Wont Happen to Me".. ..... It always amazes me to be honest.
The Western World is now more educated than even I was at school - 28 years ago - and yet so many live with this ignorance or this attitude.

I just wish that mind sets would change and young people wouldnt die young, and their families wouldnt suffer due to their choices

[j. d. worthington]

I fear this is a common human trait -- most likely one which has held on because it served a survival purpose, though that is simply speculation on my part -- but, yes, it can (and quite often does) become quite the opposite in our more interconnected, fast-paced, and technologically (and therefore pharmaceutically, mechanically, etc.) complicated world... but I sincerely doubt it's going to go away anytime soon. It can also be seen as "whistling past the graveyard", and is what allows the stupidity of much of politics, religion, traditions, etc., to hang on when these elements of all those things should have been weeded out long since. (See, for instance, Sinclair Lewis' It Can't Happen Here.) It is what allows con artists to thrive. Yet it is also what allows us to (generally speaking) begin by trusting people until they prove untrustworthy, and have self-confidence in often terrible circumstances (and therefore have enough "gumption" to attempt to change them... and sometimes succeed)... so it still serves some worthwhile purpose.

But, as your comments note, it can and often is, deleterious in so many cases, such as drug addiction, that one often wonders if it wouldn't be better to do without it.

Thinking about it a bit, though, I'd say this, like so many things, receives much of its negative association in our minds because all we hear about are the cases where this trait leads to bad results, rather than the ones where it ends more happily. Very much the same sort of thing as works with various "predictions", whether by psychics, "holy" books, etc., where the "hits" are remarked on and remembered, but the "missses" (which vastly outnumber them) are conveniently forgotten....

[Ursa major]

The trouble with a lot of things that are dangerous - not only drugs and alcohol, but other sorts of behaviour - is that they increase the likelihood that something nasty, or fatal, may happen, but do not (thankfully) guarantee it. This means that there will always be examples of someone who has smoked well into their nineties, or has not done a day's exercise in their eighty-plus years, or who has never knowingly kept to the speed limit but has never had a ticket, let alone an accident. And these examples can be quoted whenever anyone questions health-affecting behaviour.


It doesn't help that our society is one in which statistics and probability (and anything remotely mathematical) are poorly understood. I don't know about the States, but in the UK, many paid commentators can't tell the difference between simple concepts, such as between a debt and a deficit; this just leaves the public ever more confused about economics, which is poorly enough understood as it is.

[Interference]

Perhaps, proportionally, it "doesn't happen to me" and that too many people know someone who knows someone who fell off a roof and survived (metaphorically). Percentages may not mean much to most people (I'm thinking more of smokers and drinkers now) so until people are personally affected they're unlikely to be more careful.

I've no evidence for that, of course.

[Karn Maeshalanadae]

Well, I think what this really boils down to is just a few separate aspects of humanity.


Reward and pleasure, avoidance of pain, lack of foresight. Drugs tend to originally make a person feel very, very good, giving them a pleasure they might not feel otherwise. That goes on and it gets less and less, so one gets in deeper and deeper, until not taking that drug causes pain. Yak yak yak. I'm sure you can see where we're coming from here.

But addiction doesn't stop simply at drugs and alcohol. Anything can lead to addiction, but beyond that, we try to find easy ways out of pain, and easy ways into pleasure. As for a lack of foresight, and denial, it's as people here have said. It's not out of laziness that people put off treatment-it's because that, despite knowing others in their situation have been led to ruin, they feel it can be different with them. Denial is there because humans are a creature of control, and when we feel we are losing control of a situation, we either lash out to others that one feels is trying to step in and take control of it, or we simply pretend that we are not losing control at all.


And here I am babbling on here. It made a lot more sense in my head.

[hopewrites]

As with most people, I found recently that my fail-safe for avoiding pain was detrimental to other parts of my life. But I'll come back to that in a bit.
To the topic at hand, I would say, "yes. that 'it cant happen to me' feeling is pervasive in society. but it is not limited to 'the bad things cant happen to me'" For a long time I believed that there were lots of things i 'could never be' 'could never do' 'would never have' ect... writing, being happy, falling in love. and I occasionally have all or any of those things in my life now.
I was talking with my mom about perspective the other night and revealed to her that growing up I was unable to feel the love she and other members of my family were lavishing on me because I didnt have the self-esteem/ self-love to see that it was there. That it has been only recently, since gaining some self-esteem, that I have been able to look back and say "wow! my childhood was a lot better then I remembered it being."

I have since been happy to learn that love can happen to me, but I have to be willing to accept that it is not only possible, but probable as well.
which brings me back to my perfect out for pain, and how it ruins my life. Apathy. I can stop feeling anything like flipping a light switch, and like drugs and alcohol it is easy to slid into and hard to climb out of. Unlike drugs or alcohol my senses are left unimpaired, and there are few outward signs of what I am doing. However, my sensibilities are. I no longer care to react to my environment, the impulse to aid, help, or uplift is utterly missing. Anything I do, and all my 'reactions' are made by conscious choice of will.
It shouldn't take much stretch of the imagination to see how that could be detrimental to a person's life. Especially when I forget to make the effort to turn it off.
This very helpful part of my personality, 'my clinical side' I have heard people say, when left unchecked surrounds me in an emotional prison to which no one is admitted, not even my self. Or, if used correctly, will keep me level headed in stressful-emergency situations.


Personally I have never understood turning to chemical mood alterations, why wait for a physical reaction when a quick mental flick is so much faster? why place one's self at the mercy of a supplier if there is an alternative that no one would even know one had done? why put one's self at risk of blackmail for an emotional dependance when one can shut down all pain at the source? the moment I chose not to feel something, physical, mental, emotional, I dont feel anything. and I suppose that is the trade off. to still be able to feel somethings, just not what one doesn't want to.

but it doesnt work out ether way. my way one becomes a cold unfeeling semblance of a human being. the other way one becomes a chemically dependent zombie who accidentally offs themselves because the safe doses aren't enough anymore.

[Karn Maeshalanadae]

Originally Posted by hopewrites

Personally I have never understood turning to chemical mood alterations, why wait for a physical reaction when a quick mental flick is so much faster? why place one's self at the mercy of a supplier if there is an alternative that no one would even know one had done? why put one's self at risk of blackmail for an emotional dependance when one can shut down all pain at the source? the moment I chose not to feel something, physical, mental, emotional, I dont feel anything. and I suppose that is the trade off. to still be able to feel somethings, just not what one doesn't want to.

This is because people are stupid idiots. I'm sorry to say it, but it's the truth. Humans, as a species-and I think by necessity-are physical beings; that is, they tend to lean more towards the physical side of reality. I believe the sex drive has a lot to do with it-a drive to reproduce has taught us, indirectly, to seek physical gratification, if possible, to feel better emotionally. Physical feeling can help stave off whatever emotional pain one might consistently suffer, hence the start of drugs. Then it escalates from there.


As for me, well, I won't deny my own problems, and the long-term health effects of my problems can in the end be just as devastating; however, that being said, since I have no allergies nor diet-restrictive health problems, there's not much of a chance of me not waking up in the morning after a big "dose," at least, not at my young age. So far the worst I've experienced is heartburn, and I hope that'll be it for a very long time.

[hopewrites]

no the truth is that pain is there for a reason and we shouldnt try to avoid it or shut it out.
the only way I have been able to overcome my problem is to accept that pain is part of life. That when it shows up it is because there is a problem that needs addressing.
when one is hungry one should eat. when one is tired one should sleep. one needs to be able to feel to notice these things.
when you walk on glass you need to be able to feel that your feet are being sliced to ribbons so that you know A) to stop walking there if you can. B) that your skin has been punctured or sliced and what it protects is no longer protected C) that some healing will need to take place.
when healing one needs to be able to feel pain so that one will refrain from over stretching and thereby heal faster.

pain is there to teach us, not to be silenced.



but few people listen to me when I try and tell them that.

[Karn Maeshalanadae]

Exactly, HW.


Denial is a big part of humanity. I'm not saying we shouldn't experience pain. It's certainly been a good teacher to me. (Physical pain has, anyway. After I broke my leg I learned to be careful on slick surfaces, and avoid them unless it was absolutely necessary.)

[rune]

I have experienced pain and suffering in my life but I didnt take to drugs, drink, or even smoking to avoid it.
Pain is terrible be it emotional or physical and I can appreciate why some folks want to avoid it. I want to avoid it too, but i learned that endurance is something you have to do and eventually the pain eases - well emotional
Physical can be different, but you can find a way to manage it

I dont want to seem harsh, but when folks use denial and go down the destructive route of addiction which destroys the lives of those around them. And then their luck runs out - yes I think what a shame - but I feel more sorry for their families than I do for the addict

[Interference]

I'm tired of enduring.

I want nice stuff, now.

But it won't happen to me


I hadn't realised I belonged to both "It Won't Happen To Me" Societies

[springs]

Post to Interference: (memo to self)

Three crates linda mccartney pies
new microwave
8 packs of gummy bears
1 pack of Haribo
And a nice card with a smiley face in it.

Let me know when you get it. Pigeon post is a tad unreliable these days.

Can't help with the endurance.

[Interference]

Awwww, and I thunk Valentine's Day wasn't til t'morra.

[rune]

Originally Posted by Interference

I'm tired of enduring.

I want nice stuff, now.

But it won't happen to me


I hadn't realised I belonged to both "It Won't Happen To Me" Societies

Perhaps you have more than you realise. Sometimes when we feel we have nothing we dont actually see what we do have because we are lost in our misery

[Stephen Palmer]

The really awful thing is when you expect horrible things to happen, as do I, but then you get hit by something completely unexpected. It's often the unexpectedness that's the worst. I didn't expect ever to get divorced. And divorce is no joke.