Excuses

[fishii]

I was going through my stuff from English class the other day and I found an old fun assignment which was to make up an excuse for why you were late to work. I made up this one:

Dear bossman,

I know this is not the kind of excuse that you want to hear, but the reason I am late is because I am the freaking BATMAN. If you don’t believe me ask me why my name is Bruce Wayne. If you still don’t believe me come check out the ultra-secret Batcave. Oh wait never mind DON’T come check out the ultra-secret Batcave. Just ask Alfred where I am all day. Or even ask The Joker when was the last time I fought him.

Sincerely,

BATMAN

and now will change it to fit me better:

Dear bossman,

I know you want to know why I am late today, but puddin' doesn't want me to tell cause Batman might find out and that would ruin the trap. I am sorry and will make it up to you by helpin puddin kill the Batman.

Sincerely,

Harley Quinn.

What's your excuse?

[Starbeast]

I've been a Batman fan for a long time and I found this very amusing.

[fishii]

thank you.

[Interference]

Dear Chief,

I'm sorry I was late in to work today. I had intended to let you know earlier, but diverting the comet that was heading for your grandchild's school took up quite a bit of time, coming as it did right after helping Lex Luthor disable Brainiac's attempt to steal Mount Everest. Imagine my surprise when it turned out that Lex was only keeping me out of the way while he stole my lunch.

Anyway, world saved so I should be able to make it in ok toda--

Oh, darn. Something else has cropped up. Can I take my sick leave this week?

Yours,

Kent.

[fishii]

Dear Officer at my door,

Misser Superman no here.

Sincerely,

Consuella

[Interference]

To The World,

Please don't be concerned, the war is only going to last until everyone is dead and then there will be peace again. I know you thought that electing me King of the World would bring a lot of peace along with the package, but I'm afraid that after much soul-searching I discovered that, well, really, it's not my style, after all. As peace Envoy to the Middle East I did do my best not to kill anyone, but you know what it's like with servants, these days, and the chauffeur was driving rather erratically before I clouted him over the head, and I suppose that's really when I realised that bumping people off was really rather a lot of fun, even if you do it yourself.

However, this time, as before, I'm going to let you all get rid of each other and Cherie and I will emerge from the bunker a few months after you've completely annihilated each other.

Well, I say "Cherie and I", but as you know things haven't been going too well between us recently, not since the incident with the cat, the rolling pin and the Mrs Santa Claus costume, so it'll probably be that nice lady from the typing pool, again.

Annyhoo, just thought I'd let you know that, even after you're all dead, you will live on in my heart as "The People's People" and I'll have Elton knock off a song about it before one of you kills him.

Love and kisses,

Tony.

[fishii]

dear life,

Why do you insist on making me sick whenever I want to go to school. I slept and even took the stupid medicine and it's only getting worse.

sincerely,
me.

p.s. I had a test in biology today that I missed because of you. My aunt may have the secret to life, the universe and everything now but all I have is a few missing grades in school now. Thanks.

sorry that's not an excuse just me being mad cause I'm sick.... I'll think of an excuse after while.

[Interference]

Dear Life,

I've hung on to you, clung to you, given my every moment to you, so why do you mess around with other people and ignore me? Well, it's your own fault if I end up destroying the planet cos of you.

Lex.

[springs]

Dear life

I meant to go to school, I really really did, but I got lost around the time the comet fell with all that green gunk and the weird kid in his knickers. Then I had to home, lie down.

Lex

[Interference]

Dear Ma and Pa Kent,

I was so sorry to hear about your son's recent mysterious illness which sounds very like, if he were a Kryptonian, kryptonite poisoning. But that's impossible, really, isn't it?

Anyhoo, I must get back to work. Now that Superman has mysteriously disappeared (for some reason the police think I have something to do with it, but surely you know me better than that by now ) I have much to do....

Best wishes,
Lex.

[Wybren]

Dear Obi Wan

Sorry I missed our Jedi training this morning but Senator Amidala requested that I accompany her on a mission of a private and personal nature which unfortunately I am not able to discuss the particulars of the mission due to it being private and personal to her. However, as I know you hold her in high regard I was sure you wouldn't mind me helping her out.

May The Force Be With You

Anakin

[The Ace]

Sorry I'm late, somebody dropped a £20 note on the bus.

It was ages before they gave up and I was able to take my foot off it.

[fishii]

sorry I am late did I miss anything? Oh that loud bang? No I ummmm no I haven't seen Jamie the school bully today. Why? Is she not here? I didn't notice. NO that's not blood on my shirt it's .....uuuuhhhhhhh...... ketchup. No that's not a gun in my pocket it's a ....... uuuuhhhhhhhh.....party favor. Oh look at the time gotta go bye, no I don't care that i just got here. BYE.

[Starbeast]

Dear doctor,

Since you gave me six months to live, I'm not paying my bill.

[fishii]

Dear Cop,

I didn't know it's illegal run a non existent stop sign. Did you know it's illegal to park your car on the sidewalk?

sincerely,

I-am-not-paying-that-ticket