Discussion - December 2011 - 75 Word Challenge

[HareBrain]

Originally Posted by odangutan

If hyphenated words sometimes are counted as their individual elements for purposes of wordcount then that should be outlined in the rules.

Er, it is. There's a sticky in this sub-forum called "Rules for the Writing Challenges". See the "wordcount" section.

[Hex]

Originally Posted by odangutan

I didn't think of the protagonist as an actual mouse, as it happens. I just imagined that a cat, even a mechanical burglar-murdering cat, would think of all prey as a mouse.

Oh good. I didn't imagine a mouse when I read it and then I felt stupid.

Also, I think Mith has been wrongly accused of cruelty to mice. He was being cruel to reindeer.

Perp -- I love your comments, and thanks, reiver! I shall add that comment to my (planned but not yet executed) wall-of-nice-things-people-have-said.

(I woke up in the middle of the night last night worrying about Miss Featherhill. I don't think the Iron Admiral is a very nice man and I'm concerned about what might be discussed at tea)

[springs]

Well placed concern I would say, Hex.

Reiver's ballerina stands out for me at the mo.

[odangutan]

Originally Posted by HareBrain

Er, it is. There's a sticky in this sub-forum called "Rules for the Writing Challenges". See the "wordcount" section.

Oops. I read that and must've missed the hyphens bit completely.

That sort of scuppers me as I use hyphenated words, ones I would consider valid but mods might not, as a stylistic device quite a lot. For example, 'hush-hiss' is in no way a standard hyphenisation but it gets across the sound I want to describe most succinctly...

[HareBrain]

Originally Posted by odangutan

Oops. I read that and must've missed the hyphens bit completely.

At least you read it. I wonder if it might be useful to include a link to that thread in the opening spiel of the challenge.

That sort of scuppers me as I use hyphenated words, ones I would consider valid but mods might not, as a stylistic device quite a lot. For example, 'hush-hiss' is in no way a standard hyphenisation but it gets across the sound I want to describe most succinctly...

You're fine using them, but if you think it might be a non-standard hypenation then count it as two words, or check with a mod. (I confess I got away with some very dubious compound words before there was a tightening up; I always play it safe now.)

[odangutan]

Reiver33 and Springs1971 have my favourite stories so far; Reiver for the setting and springs for the sense of steam-wreathed nostalgia. AnyaKimlin needs to remember the difference between it's and its.

[The Judge]

Originally Posted by odangutan

For example, 'hush-hiss' is in no way a standard hyphenisation but it gets across the sound I want to describe most succinctly...

And it was scruntinised, I can assure you, as were the other hyphens in your story. That one passed. Another might not. It's always best to check with non-standard compounds.


And while I'm here, everyone please remember that this is not a place for Critiquing entries. Praise is always welcome, of course, but anything which might seem a criticism is best left to the "Improving our Challenge Stories" threads.


As for the Iron Admiral, I think he's a cad. I bet he cheats at cards, too.

[springs]

Originally Posted by odangutan

Reiver33 and Springs1971 have my favourite stories so far; Reiver for the setting and springs for the sense of steam-wreathed nostalgia.

Oh thankyou, that's made my day

[hopewrites]

When I picture Miss Featherfall and the Iron Admiral as a couple I get the most delightful image of a grandmotherly woman on the arm of a straight, cold, hard man. the kind of man people would say has a heart of stone. I like them as a couple because, to me, she saves him from being inhuman. The fact that he likes her, evidenced by his need to have her with him at tea time, shows he has a heart (or had one till he lost it to the obviously adorable Miss Feartherfall). I imagine them as old friends, that the Admiral has a dark sense of humor, and that Miss Featherfall has often had to rearrange her plans to accommodate him.

Maybe i'm the one with the dark sense of humor because I thought it a charming love story.

[odangutan]

Originally Posted by hopewrites

When I picture Miss Featherfall and the Iron Admiral as a couple I get the most delightful image of a grandmotherly woman on the arm of a straight, cold, hard man. the kind of man people would say has a heart of stone. I like them as a couple because, to me, she saves him from being inhuman. The fact that he likes her, evidenced by his need to have her with him at tea time, shows he has a heart (or had one till he lost it to the obviously adorable Miss Feartherfall). I imagine them as old friends, that the Admiral has a dark sense of humor, and that Miss Featherfall has often had to rearrange her plans to accommodate him.

Maybe i'm the one with the dark sense of humor because I thought it a charming love story.

Miss Featherhill has a little brother who is a boy so, unless there's some weirdness going on, it's unlikely that she's a grandmotherly woman.

My reading of it was that the Iron Admiral is basically threatening to sink Miss Featherhill's brother's ship unless she euphemistically 'takes tea' with him.

[Hex]

Absolutely. The young and innocent Miss Featherhill drawn into the Admiral's clutches. And once she's agreed to tea, who knows what might happen?

I didn't read tea as a euphemism, but as the start of a slippery slope. After all, would a girl like Miss Featherhill immediately relinquish her Honour simply to save her brother's toy boat? Perhaps, after tea, the Admiral would suggest a small wager on Vingt-un (we suspect he cheats at cards -- see TJ, above), and before she knew it, Miss Featherhill would have lost the necklace her beloved Aunt Julia bequeathed to her.

What then for the innocent and beautiful Miss Featherhill...?

[hopewrites]

Not grandmotherly in age, only in appearance. My mom was 25 when her youngest sibling was born, so it's not that much of a stretch to think that someone who is 30-35 (40 at the utmost) could have that comfortable-kind appearance that grandmothers are known to have.

I got my fragmented version down to 75 words, but it lacked plot and steam-punky-ness. So I redid it loosing all but my favorite descriptions, and gaining a face-palming punch line. Again, going to sit on it for a bit to be sure.

[HareBrain]

Miss Featherhill certainly seems to be an amorphous character. Perpetual Man thought she was the boy's mother! (But I forgive him, because the rest of his comment was so nice.)

After all, would a girl like Miss Featherhill relinquish her Honour simply to save her brother's toy boat?

It is described as a "splendid" boat.

[The Judge]

Ah, but she would know her Shakespeare. And according to Isabella from Measure for Measure: More than our brother's boat is our chastity...

[Perpetual Man]

Originally Posted by HareBrain

Miss Featherhill certainly seems to be an amorphous character. Perpetual Man thought she was the boy's mother! (But I forgive him, because the rest of his comment was so nice.).

Oops. And it clearly says brother too.

That's what you get for reading the things through, and typing up notes quickly, when you are meant to be working... and hey, brother/mother they sound alike...

Buries head in sand in shame.