Quick Fire Questions (A Place to Ask and Answer)

[springs]

Originally Posted by allmywires

I have been puzzling over this line for AGES (so much so I'm probably now over-thinking it), and I really can't think of a way to make it less wordy.

‘I guess you haven't realised why your Commander wanted you to convince me to come here, do you?’

Thoughts?

Didn't you realise? Your Commander wanted me to convince you to come here; why?

or

your Commander asked me to convince you to come here. Didn't you realise; didn't you wonder why?

or


I guess maybe you didn't know, but your Commander told me you had to come here. He asked me to convince you of that. Do you want to know why?

Some aren't any shorter, but maybe the stanzas are?

[alchemist]

Originally Posted by allmywires

I have been puzzling over this line for AGES (so much so I'm probably now over-thinking it), and I really can't think of a way to make it less wordy.

‘I guess you haven't realised why your Commander wanted you to convince me to come here, do you?’

Thoughts?

Yeah, DON'T DO IT!

Your best bet may be to break it up e.g. Your Commander wanted you to convince me to come here. Ever wonder why?

[allmywires]

Originally Posted by alchemist

Yeah, DON'T DO IT!

Ugh it has been KILLING me! But it's sorta important so...

Originally Posted by springs1971

your Commander asked me to convince you to come here. Didn't you realise; didn't you wonder why?

Think I like that one. Merci beaucoup y'all!

[hopewrites]

Originally Posted by allmywires

I have been puzzling over this line for AGES (so much so I'm probably now over-thinking it), and I really can't think of a way to make it less wordy.

‘I guess you haven't realised why your Commander wanted you to convince me to come here, do you?’

Thoughts?

with smirking laughter "you just dont get it do you?"

then you have the hook you need to monolog like a true villain.

[luci2also]

Originally Posted by Interference

The hyphen is important to make clear that it's idiomatic.

But the point you're making is perfectly well made. The man has turned his lawn mower around to go back down the lawn in the opposite direction.

I have not heard that rule with idioms
raining cats and dogs
raining-cats-and-dogs
plus I'm at a loss as to how 180 degree to one eighty creates an idiom since the words seem to predictably mean what they say. But I am sometimes blind to the unpredictability of my phrases.
I have had a copy editor change my idioms that way though and its awfully annoying. But not as bad as when they just try to reword the whole thing.
It was raining on the cats and the dogs.
Jeesh!

[Warren_Paul]

Originally Posted by luci2also

It was raining on the cats and the dogs.
Jeesh!

Poor cats and dogs.

[hopewrites]

I'm stuck on a description

i will venture to assume we have all heard of soul rending pain. what I want to describe is like that, but in reverse. the pain of having one's soul unrendered. I dont want to say healed because of the time and relative painlessness implied in the word. and just like having a thorn pulled from a finger tip, the process I wish to describe is far from painless, and fairly swift.

[luci2also]

Originally Posted by hopewrites

I'm stuck on a description

i will venture to assume we have all heard of soul rending pain. what I want to describe is like that, but in reverse. the pain of having one's soul unrendered. I dont want to say healed because of the time and relative painlessness implied in the word. and just like having a thorn pulled from a finger tip, the process I wish to describe is far from painless, and fairly swift.

Assuming you mean un-rend or unrended, maybe de-rend.
Since rending is splitting or tearing something apart I'd suggest zipping it back together or stitching it up to hold it while it mends itself. But thinking of it as a banana peal I can't imagine an easy way to close that back up without some visible discontinuity in the end product.

On the other hand a wedding ceremony seems to adequately describe the process you are looking for. Maybe you could draw from that. Not exactly sure how to turn the process of joining two separate things into one to describe the shattered pieces of on object being rejoined. Might need a marriage councilor for that.

[luci2also]

Originally Posted by hopewrites

I'm stuck on a description

i will venture to assume we have all heard of soul rending pain. what I want to describe is like that, but in reverse. the pain of having one's soul unrendered. I dont want to say healed because of the time and relative painlessness implied in the word. and just like having a thorn pulled from a finger tip, the process I wish to describe is far from painless, and fairly swift.

I had to really think about this.

To say it would be painless and easy would be a lie. But, it is strangely almost indescribable. This oxymoron of angst ridden soul mending pain.
It cuts me to the quick and leaves me whole yet scarred. I don't know whether to curse or thank my lucky star. I only know it will carry me to my next tomorrow.

[Warren_Paul]

Originally Posted by hopewrites

I'm stuck on a description

i will venture to assume we have all heard of soul rending pain. what I want to describe is like that, but in reverse. the pain of having one's soul unrendered. I dont want to say healed because of the time and relative painlessness implied in the word. and just like having a thorn pulled from a finger tip, the process I wish to describe is far from painless, and fairly swift.

Stitching is the first word that comes to mind for me, Hope. Which Luci has already suggested.

Suggestion for quick pain:

Pain lanced through her, like the quick stab of a needle, stitching her soul back together.

[Interference]

Originally Posted by luci2also

plus I'm at a loss as to how 180 degree to one eighty creates an idiom since the words seem to predictably mean what they say.

"One-eighty" is a contraction and an abbreviation which fully stands for "one hundred and eighty degrees. However, it has come into common currency and one-eighty (as opposed to "one eighty", which might refer to a single quantity of eighty somethings) is a perfectly acceptable idiom or phrase.

"It's raining cats-and-dogs" might be okay, but the preferred is "it's raining cats and dogs", as there is no confusion that there are both cats and dogs involved.

Originally Posted by hopewrites

i will venture to assume we have all heard of soul rending pain. what I want to describe is like that, but in reverse. the pain of having one's soul unrendered. I dont want to say healed because of the time and relative painlessness implied in the word. and just like having a thorn pulled from a finger tip, the process I wish to describe is far from painless, and fairly swift.

This is probably gonna sound really stupid, but is it like birth pain? I've no way of knowing what that means, of course, but the extreme pain followed by a healthy baby is, apparently, quite affirming and, by all accounts, worth it.

Like the others, my imagination can't take me much beyond, "agonising as though it would only be quelled by death or utter annihilation, and yet..." or something a bit less cliched that I'm sure you can come up with

[Warren_Paul]

Soul rending pain is actually more about emotional pain than physical. It's something so traumatic that it tears your soul apart.

[Interference]

So, not quite the lancing needle then?

[Warren_Paul]

Originally Posted by Interference

So, not quite the lancing needle then?

No, but I'm not sure if Hope was meaning emotional pain in the first place? - waits for Hope to come along and explain - lancing needle is a quick pain, and at least to me represents the process of un-rending a soul.

Was just a suggestion though - not perfect.

[David Evil Overlord]

I was thinking of a jigsaw puzzle, but that's not really painful...unless the person putting it together is one who gets all sorts of pieces in the wrong place and then just hammers them in until they fit.