Discussing the Writing Challenges -- November and December 2010

[sloweye]

Karn - another cracker.

Oxman – caught me off guard on the first read, as it did others. But on the second read I thought it was very clever.

Ursa – Again, a very clever take. Reminds me of the experiments, of leaving notes on top of cupboards to test the ‘out of body experience.’

P’ Marvin – great take, caught my attention from the first read through. Even better the second time.

Chrispy – nice twist

Perp – I had the same trouble with yours as you had with mine, I wanted to know the story of what had bought him to the gallows.

J riff – nice mix of action/ fairytale/ comedy.

Stormfeather - made me go Oooooo!

Culhwch – I don’t know, I just liked it


There were a few this month I just don’t ‘get’ but that’s just because I’m a bit thick.

It came down to Oxman & stormfeather. But now I don’t need to choose and I can add Chrispy.

[The Judge]

Originally Posted by mosaix

So my suggestion is that, after the voting is complete, any author wanting critiques of their entries (or just a simple reason for rejection) could post them in the critiques forum

I think you're very right to hold back from offering anything here which might seem to be a critical comment. Even those of us who are aspiring writers -- and therefore should be keen to improve our work generally -- don't want to be ambushed with opinions! I seem to recall that HareBrain made much the same suggestion for critiquing a little while ago, in his case from a perspective that he wondered if he could have improved any of his pieces. From the lack of take up regarding his idea, it doesn't seem that anyone is that keen, though.

However, co-incidence or not, I was half-thinking of doing something similar with this month's story of mine, once voting had finished, since I saw something last night which would have improved it on a technical level, and it occurred to me that someone might be interested in my thinking. Perhaps if we kept it as a Workshop exercise called "Improving Our Stories" or somesuch, rather than a formal critique, it might encourage participation.

Would anyone else be interested?


Meanwhile, there's the voting to finish. And speaking of which, big thank yous for the shortlist mentions No One, Teresa and Parson, and even bigger thank yous for the votes No One and others, who may or may not be the same personages. (It's a trifle odd to see so many votes so quickly, isn't it!)

[Karn Maeshalanadae]

Originally Posted by Teresa Edgerton

If you were torn between two, why would it have been confusing to vote for both of them?

It's up to each voter to decide how many of their three votes they wish to cast. It's not just a choice between one and three -- two comes in there as well, if someone feels the most comfortable voting for their top two choices. On the other hand, if somebody else feels that one story stands so far above the others that they only want to vote once, that's perfectly reasonable.

Well yes, but, I'm just simply used to the original rules we've had. And the one I voted for did shine above the others. My second did come close, but, I would go for it in a tiebreaker situation.

[Mouse]

I've just voted. Went for StormFeather, Chrispy and The Judge.

That probably would've been my shortlist as well really, with the addition of J Riff. I barely understood any of them this month! My brain's all snow covered.

Thanks for my vote!

If anybody was interested in what was hidden in mine, I'll tell you. It wasn't a hidden meaning, I never do those. Just something extra.

[HareBrain]

Originally Posted by The Judge

I seem to recall that HareBrain made much the same suggestion for critiquing a little while ago, in his case from a perspective that he wondered if he could have improved any of his pieces. From the lack of take up regarding his idea, it doesn't seem that anyone is that keen, though.

However, co-incidence or not, I was half-thinking of doing something similar with this month's story of mine, once voting had finished, since I saw something last night which would have improved it on a technical level, and it occurred to me that someone might be interested in my thinking. Perhaps if we kept it as a Workshop exercise called "Improving Our Stories" or somesuch, rather than a formal critique, it might encourage participation.

Would anyone else be interested?

I would. Where I wanted feedback before, it was largely because I wanted to know how many people hadn't got what the stories were on about (and how I could have avoided confusion), and on reflection that seemed a bit specific for a critique thread. Plus, laziness.

As for my votes ...

Had I been limited to one, I think I would have gone with Oxman, so that's one. Then Hoopy's. Third vote was between two of the funnies, JRiff's and Alchemist's. I loved the pulpy exuberence of Santa's near-demise at the hands of the lizard men, but Alchemist's tale just pipped it.

Well done those four, and many others too numerous to list, three of which I'm not sure I've seen mentioned yet being Bella Donna's, No One's and Lenny's. Lenny's made much more sense to me after the confusion about what was and wasn't in it, so maybe that was a happy accident!


By the way, what happened to the bars on the results screen?

[Parson]

Parson thinks to himself: "Why didn't you list your winners last night?"

Parson responds: "I didn't want to influence anyone's vote."

Parson thinks to himself: "Do you REALLY think anyone would be influenced by your votes?"

Parson responds: "Um, well, ah, No."

Parson thinks to himself: "Well, get over yourself, and list the winners they were very fine stories all."

Parson responds: "Okay, you're right."


---------------


I'm not sure if having three votes helped me or not. It was just as easy for me to pick one winner as three. The difference between receiving a vote from me and not receiving one is minimal at best. But the three stories which I liked the best were:

Storm Feather: Ho Ho Ho --- ever think about writing a script for this?

The Judge: "Insert long title here" --- A GREAT SF story!!

Culhwch: "The Tithe" --- This one gives me goose bumps. "Take me." Humanity at its finest!!!


-------

I would participate in a "How could I have made my story better" thread.

[Perpetual Man]

Hmmm, I thought it would be a good idea to do a comment on everything this month, did the first bit, then got so busy that I had little time to even read the stories... but I did not think it would be fair not to do the others and so:


Stormfeather - An excellent poem. I absolutely loved this; from the rhythm to the words and the story therein, a real contender for me this month.
The End Is Nigh - Hmm. I'm not sure what I thought of this one - probably I just did not get it. I saw it working on a couple of levels, but it just did not work for me. (I'm probably just being thick)
Hilarious Joke - Hmmm2 I really like some of the wording in this one, but for this just did not work. (See the thick comment above)
Parson - I kept missing the hidden message, a bit more cleverly hidden than my own. I really enjoyed it, it seemed as though he managed to fit quite a bit in.
Star Girl - A nice sacrifice tale, that turned things on their head slightly. I liked the idea of seeing a sacrifice that appears to have been in vain.
Digs - A good solid SF concept, I felt it was one of those stories that just needed more space.
Moonbat - A lot of good quirky writing that made me smirk, the ending even made me chuckle.
Dubrech - I thought that this was almost an excerpt from a longer work, but it still worked as a complete story in its own right. Touching, but not overly sentimental.
Teresa - Almost an epic feel to this one, it evoked many great images in my head.
Xelah - I really enjoyed this, fund and felt that it looked at the idea of sacrifice from the other side. (Unfortunately naming a character Paddington distracted me with thoughts of marmalade sandwiches)
Alchemist - Now this begins a run of absolute crackers - I thought it was well written and it made me laugh out loud.
Jude - I think I worked out what was happening just before the revelation, it did not detract from it though, fun and a great twist.
Bookstop - A rather different take on Christmas Tree decorating and finding perfect balance - who does not have that problem when arranging the tree. I felt that it could have benefited from a few more words, but then that is the nature of the beast here. I could keep writing for pages...
Chel - Almost an epic tale ground down into 75 words, to me it felt a pseudo historical/fairy tale.
Harebrain - Ah, Harebrain, Harebrain, Harebrain. Absolute brilliance, I thought this one worked as a short and on so many different levels. Cannot praise it enough.
HoopyFrood - Almost the thematic opposite to Chel's; one a selfless act the other a selfish moment of self preservation. I particularly liked the idea of the character taking the reins of the story and becoming the protagonist.
Lenny - Another epic tale ground down to 75 words, dark, perhaps nearly depressing but somehow poignant (well at least to me)
Death From Massive - Okay, what really needs to be said? Brilliance, funny and a strange urge not to run into DFM on a dark night.
The Judge - I felt that this was something a little different, a good strong moral and could easily be the basis for something longer.
Culhwch - completely wrong footed me, I loved it!
Dozmonic - Another 'dark' tale, well presented again getting so much in, with so few words!
Junk Monkey - A nice build up, cool idea, but felt that it was the start of something longer (which I would happily of read)

From this I've struggled it down to a (long) short list: Bella Donna, Oxman, Ursa, Chris, Reiver 33, Allanon, Mosaix, No-One, Stormfeather, Parson, Digs, Teresa, Xelah, Alchemist, Jude, Harebrain, HoopyFrood & Culhwch

I had it down to a clear winner, but now I've got to find another two

[The Judge]

Big thank you, Mouse and a confirmatory thank you, Parson.

I'd forgotten you'd hidden something, Mouse. I'll go and have another look, though if it's in the title I'm stumped. It's all Greek to me...

[Mouse]

You're welcome, I think I would've gone for yours if we'd only had the one vote. Chris and SF were very close so good thing we got the three votes this time!

And nope, not the title. The title's sort of saying what the story could be about.

[Perpetual Man]

Well knowing how busy the next few days are going to be I've made my final decision and voted: Stormfeather, DeathfromMassive and Harebrain - but I so wanted more votes

I'm happy - I got a vote!!!

And as an aside, just had a conversation with Mrs Perp and it triggered an idea for a Sacrifice story, far too late to post in the competition, but as it was seasonal I thought I'd stick it up by way of wishing everyone a very Merry Christmas!


She felt her heart lurch, her breath catch in her throat.

Her daughter stared up at her, a glint of hardness in her wide blue eyes.

"But mum," she said almost patronisingly, "I don't need to put a pillowcase out, I know Santa Claus doesn't exist."

And with those words a mother knew it was over, her daughter sacrificed her youth and began her path into adulthood.

[Parson]

Perpetual man --- I like it.

[nixie]

After a great deal of thought, I went for Alchemist, J Riff and Oxman.

When I sat down to write mine this month, I had a completely different idea in mind. Was going to go for being stranded in the snow, cabin middle of nowhere, no heating etc, all combustible objects had gone leaving only the books.

Then the BBC breakfast show was discussing a theatre production of Bag Puss, and Bag Puss was there, getting passed between the presenters and they didn't want to give him back.

[Chel]

I have my shortlist - that took some doing!

Talysia
Ursa Major
Reiver33
J Riff
StormFeather
Alchemist
Jude
HoopyFrood
Culhwch


My votes go to Reiver33, Alchemist and HoopyFrood.

[Allanon]

That was hard!!! I re-read them all twice before choosing a shortlist that went like this:

Sloweye, J Riff, Mosaix, Stormfeather, Star Girl, Talysia, Ursa, Perpetual Man, Precise, Dubrech and TE

Then things got really hard! Took me another three reads of the shortlist to whittle it down to the same list!! went away, came back and painstakingly took the list down to 5.

These were:

Mosaix, TE, Perpetual Man, Dubrech and Star Girl

So the winners ended up as the ones that touched me most:

Mosaix, Star Girl and Dubrech

The stories were wonderful and thank you for the vote whoever cast it for me!! I'm chuffed to have received that!!!

[Allanon]

Oh, forgot to add that I think it would be good if we had a thread for critiques on these stories, I'd certainly appreciate the help!