Film Title Synopsis Game

[J Riff]

NORTH by NORTHWEST WORLD 2011

A man wakes up to a world where everything is black and white, and everyone looks like Alfred Hitchcock. His wife, who looks like Alfred Hitchcock, played by Meryl Streep, tries to kill him - so she can abscond with his fortune in uncut gems -with Cary Grant, played by Jim Carey, who also looks like Alfred Hitchcock.
During a frantic backstreet chase scene, the mans' wife's psychiatrist kills the mystery heir to the unknown fortune,who was secretely involved with the man's ex-wifes' daughter from another marriage to a shadowy man - who turns out to be Alfred Hitchcock, played by Eddie Murphy.
An Oscar for makeup virtually assured, watch for this one.

Cloverfield of Dreams

[digs]

Cloverfield of Dreams (2008)

When Bilzvgax loses seven of his tentacles in a horrendous knitting accident, it looks like his dreams of murderously rampaging through New York may be dashed forever. But when Sheilzqx, a bold, brassy young monstrosity, moves into the lair across the road, Bilzvgax finds a new spark kindling in his life, and discovers that his dream of becoming everyone else's nightmare may not be so unreachable. With music, laughter and plenty of blood-spattered gore, this Summer blockbuster is sure to titillate and terrify the whole family. R18+.

(So mine's really more of a teaser than a synopsis, but I guess you'll just have to get it out on DVD to see what happens...)

Gladys Gets her Groove Back

[Starbeast]

GLADYS GETS HER GROOVE BACK (2002)


Based on a true story about the rise and fall of a 97 year old senior citizen rap singer named Gladys Butterworth. She attained fame for three years, made five gold records and was killed a year ago in a freak accident. Two freaks driving a Mini Cooper ran her over after leaving a wild party at a circus late one stormy night. The bearded woman and rubber-skinned man admitted they drove over her, the bearded lady was quoted to say: "We chased her for three miles as she ran barefoot through backyards of residential areas, but we got her." 102 minutes - Rated R






DR WHO and the WIZARD FROM OZ

[J Riff]

DR WHO and the WIZARD FROM OZ 2010

Eleven different actors play the Doctor, and Dorothy has to decide which has truly won her heart. Modern versions of the OZ characters feature a rocket-launching Tin Man, played by Tim Mann, who tangles with Tony Stark, as the Final Strawman and the Cowardly-but-sneaky Lion provide laughs.
American audiences will have trouble with the thick English accents, but the tornado that sweeps the entire cast to their death makes for a happy ending on both sides of the big pond. An instant B classic.

Clone Encounters (of the fourth kind)

[Moonbat]

Clone Encounters (of the fourth kind)
The world's greatest man, Jack Flakket, is so incredibly amazing that a decision is made to clone him and spread him out across the globe in an effort to make the world a better place. But when four of his clones meet at Theoretical Particle Physics Party they take a dislike to each other and the very characteristics that made Jack an Uber-Mensch turn his four clones into homicidal maniacs. The ensuing violence engulfs the city and threatens to destablise the entire world. Will the real Jack come to the rescue or will the UN have to call on Mrs Flakket, Jack's infamous Mother! (action/comedy 2004)


What the hell is that? VII: Pointing Fingers

[J Riff]

What the hell is that? VII: Pointing Fingers 29th May 2010 12:08 AMWhat the hell is that? VII: Pointing Fingers

A gigantic ship from outer space lands outside of the studio where American Idol is taping. A huge mechanical arm unfolds from the ship, clutching a mallet the size of an ocean liner, and smashes the building flat.
There are no survivors.
Everyone runs around blaming everyone else, the Russians, The Belgians, the Canadians. Finally the spaceship is found abandoned in a skid row area of town. Police arrest a group of unemployed musicians. All are sentenced to 20 years in jail, with three meals a day and full cable, a vast improvement over life on the outside, and the film ends happily.
Scenes of extreme graphic violence and stupidity, not recommended for anyone under the age of 65.

Batman XXVII - Arkham Old Folks Home

[Starbeast]

BATMAN XXVII - Arkham Old Folks Home (2020)

In this sequel the evil mastermind named "Egghead" builds a time machine to thwart Bruce Wayne from becoming the caped vigilante. The arch-villain convinces the Joker, the Penguin, Catwoman, Two-Face and the Riddler to join him. Unfortunately, Egghead made a mistake while constructing the time machince and caused all of the villains to age fifty years. Batman arrives on the scene to discover the elderly super-villains sleeping in recliner chairs, then calls Arkham Asylum to collect the feeble, hard of hearing, cranky and forgetful foul fiends. Later he visits them and the ex-super-villains think he's a nice relative of their's who remembered their birthdays. - 97 minutes - Rated G







JAMES BOND 007 in "Dr Thundergold"

[J Riff]

JAMES BOND 007 in "Dr Thundergold" 2015

James Bond, played by someone wearing a Sean Connery mask, chases the evil Doctor ThunderGold from one fabulous tourist resort to the next.
Bond battles thousands of giant radio-controlled sharks, then leaps off Mount Everest onto a passing jetliner which he boards, calmly takes his seat next to Madame X, and delivers one of many unforgetable one-liners.
Thundergold plans to spray paint everyone in the world with his golden mind-control paint, but Bond leaps from yet another passing jetliner and lands squarely on Thundergold, seemingly squashing his plans for world dominance.
And that's just the first five minutes.


Starship Troupers - The Aphids attack

[J Riff]

A nice relative who's remembered their birthdays. Hehe hHEhehHAAAA

[Starbeast]

STARSHIP TROUPERS - The Aphids Attack (2010)

A mixed group of alien insectoid theater actors travel from one planet to another performing SPAMALOT and recieve rave reviews.






STAR WARS - Episode Seven

[digs]

STAR WARS - Episode Seven (2012)

Decades have passed since the destruction of the Empire. Relegated to the retirement moon of Incontinentia IV, Luke, Han and Leia have swapped their blasters for hover frames. But after years of peace, a dark force is stirring in the galaxy.

The dread George Lucas, a being of almost limitless power, has once again awoken in his formidable Skywalker Ranch. Cash-strapped, he seeks to resurrect his fortunes through the magic of CGI, slaying any remnants of charm or plot in his path.

As a million fans cry out in terror, it is up to three octogenarian heroes to once again save the galaxy from darkness. In the decrepit Millennium Falcon they set out to defeat their old master, staying well under the speed limit and occasionally drifting into neighbouring lanes without indicating...


And My Muffin

[J Riff]

And My Muffin 1939

An obscure art film by reclusive Italian director/baker Antonionio Antonioiolio,
this dark tragi-comedic farce deals with the aftermath of the baked goods scandal of the 1920s. Obscure references to cookies, tarts, scones and waffles add to the mix, as the world's largest muffin takes shape in a remote cave.
The final bake-off is among the most confusing moments in cinematic history.

The 3 Stooges meet Godzilla

[Starbeast]

THE 3 STOOGES MEET GODZILLA (2010) This Summer!


With the help of CGI, the 3 STOOGES live again in full color! This wonderful film features Moe Howard, Curly Howard and Larry Fine working as goofball plumbers in Tokyo, Japan. In this outrageous slapstick comedy, the boys save the world from the mighty King of the Monsters and fix a leaky water cooler all within 24 hours. Shemp Howard has a cameo role as a bystander who is the first to see the giant atomic fire-blasting mutant, he screams, "Look everybody, it's GODZILLA!", then he soils himself.
Rated PG-13 for monster violence. 87 minutes.






The Adventures of Dotty and her faithful dog Sniffy

[reiver33]

The Adventures of Dotty and her faithful dog Sniffy (1933)

Described as 'an exquisite exercise in degradation', this was one of the last releases by Hamburg’s Defekte Schönheitsproduktionen GmbH before it was destroyed in an arson attack.

The plot involves a series of sexual encounters between Dotty (starlet Helga Hoff, who went on to appear as flower girl number 3 in ‘Triumph Of The Will’) and prominant political figures in 1930's Germany. Featuring a cameo by Marlene Dietrich (as ‘Hitlers Aunt’), this combination of political satire and bestiality proved too controversial even for the notorious ‘BlauTheatre’ and was universally panned. It is now only available as a heavily cut 1975 video version (336 mins).

Director: Voss Cromarty.

Trivia Tease: the part of ‘Sniffy’ was played by Lassie stand-in ‘Rufus’, on loan from MGM.

To Have and to Hold On, That’s My Wife!

[J Riff]

To Have and to Hold On, That’s My Wife! - is the story of Ralph, a virgin explorer who buys a wife for fifty pieces of eight - little knowing that she is an escaping vampire,fleeing a forced marriage to Lord Carnalowitzc.
- Jerry Spammer, the occult minister, has orders to arrest Ralph and carry his vampire wife back to England. The boat that they are in, however, crashes on a desert island,and they are accosted by pirates, who, after a short struggle, prefer to take Ralph's wife - Vulgaria, as their captain.
The pirates attack an English ship off the coast of Florida. It carries the new Virginian governor, Sir Francis Warrt, and the pirates escape with all the loot, and Ralph's wife, and leave everyone wondering if there will be a sequel, with an all-vampire pirate crew.
2010 contains 127 utterances of the word 'Arrr! "

Eggsorcist 7 - deviled eggs and spam