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Old 18th August 2009, 04:05 PM   #1 (permalink)
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For Futurama fans (and others)

Here's a tiny writing challenge for you, the results of which, be warned, I intend to steal.

How would you most efficiently and accurately describe the groan/sigh of exasperation/embarrassment/misery/superiority that Kif Croker makes after a particularly awful utterance by his captain, Zap Brannigan?

(To non-viewers, I guess that gets across the gist, so please feel free to join in too.)
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Old 19th August 2009, 12:38 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Re: For Futurama fans (and others)

Never watched Futurama, so can't help define the noise itself. But if you're intending that one of your characters makes a noise like this then I think you're going to have to describe it in full, at least the first time, because it does seem as if it's conveying a great deal of information in one sound.

If it's likely to become a regular feature, then give it a name/short descriptor eg 'Fred's sigh' so that you don't have to go through all the description every time.

eg (not v good I know, but off the top of my head) 'At this further pun from the hirsute animal, Fred let out the groaning noise which had become known to all the crew as the Fred sigh - part embarrassed misery, part exasperation, all underpinned by Fred's assumption of superiority.'

J
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Old 19th August 2009, 03:19 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Re: For Futurama fans (and others)

Ok, I'll give it a try. I love Futurama, but haven't seen it in a bit, so bear that in mind


‘Prepare to take the blame Kif’ gurned Zap from the captain’s chair, bare legs crossed, revealing just enough for the ladies.
‘Wait for it’ He held a sexy velour gloved finger in the air, poised and ready to point.
‘Now’, He pointed at his loyal lieutenant Kif Kroker, who’s green hue deepened with dismay.
‘Yes sir’, and as was customary, kif sighed monumentally. It was a sigh of epic weight, the sound of the universe feeding a coin into the bad karma machine, ready to serve up yet another steaming plate of misfortune, just for him.
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Old 19th August 2009, 10:42 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Re: For Futurama fans (and others)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bontemps View Post
It was a sigh of epic weight, the sound of the universe feeding a coin into the bad karma machine, ready to serve up yet another steaming plate of misfortune, just for him.
I love this! Any more like that, Bontemps?

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Old 20th August 2009, 03:49 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Re: For Futurama fans (and others)

Thanks!
Inspiration arrived courtesy of Hitchhikers and Terry Pratchett.
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Old 20th August 2009, 05:53 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Re: For Futurama fans (and others)

Thanks for the imaginative responses, but alas, they're a bit long. I don't want to draw that much attention to it. I was hoping for something shorter: "she [verbed] [adverbly]" or "she [verbed] an [adjective] [noun]" or something. But with all the implications outlined in my first post. Maybe asking a bit much, in hindsight.

But how come the English language lacks almost any verbs to describe what we might call "animal behaviour", ie facial expressions or non-verbal noises? If the Inuit can have fifty words for different types of snow or whatever, why don't we have words to identify the different types of sigh, or laugh (apart from ridiculous sounding ones like "chuckle" or "guffaw"). Is it because these would rarely have been used until the novel came along? So we spend hours trying to cobble together a few words to capture a perfectly commonplace expression, when if our ancestors had been on the ball there would have been a simple verb for it in the first place.
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Old 20th August 2009, 06:37 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Re: For Futurama fans (and others)

"a resigning sigh"?
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Old 20th August 2009, 06:54 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Re: For Futurama fans (and others)

Ooh! almost ... just need a bit of pain in there.

A pained sigh, does that get enough across? Sighed in pained resignation?
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Old 20th August 2009, 10:36 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Re: For Futurama fans (and others)

It might be more apparant in context, particularly within character dynamics, so I imagine your readers will get what the sigh means without too much explicitness. Kif's sigh of 'pained resignation' (or whatever) is understood as such because Zapp is being such an ... er... idiot, at the time. We sympathise with the poor little green dude.

Pained resignation and variations thereof work for me, but I reckon the dynamics between the characters will be more telling than how you actually describe the sigh.
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Old 20th August 2009, 11:07 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Re: For Futurama fans (and others)

Fair point Kith, though this particular sigh-groan comes quite early on and I was hoping it would help to define the dynamic.

At this point, I have to quote the following.

Zapp: "Captain's journal, star-date, ahhh ..."

Kif: "[That sound]. April thirteenth!"

Zapp: "April thirteenth ... point two! We have failed to uphold Brannigan's Law. However, I did make it with a hot alien babe - and in the end, is that not what Man has dreamt of since first he looked up at the stars? Kif, I'm asking you a question."

Kif: "[That sound.]"
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Old 20th August 2009, 11:09 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Re: For Futurama fans (and others)

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Originally Posted by HareBrain View Post
But how come the English language lacks almost any verbs to describe what we might call "animal behaviour", ie facial expressions or non-verbal noises? If the Inuit can have fifty words for different types of snow or whatever, why don't we have words to identify the different types of sigh, or laugh (apart from ridiculous sounding ones like "chuckle" or "guffaw"). Is it because these would rarely have been used until the novel came along? So we spend hours trying to cobble together a few words to capture a perfectly commonplace expression, when if our ancestors had been on the ball there would have been a simple verb for it in the first place.
How inconsiderate of them not to envisage this situation and produce a few hundred words for our use. I mean the 75 verbs for 'ululation:animal sounds' in Roget's are neither here nor there... Actually, none of those helps at all as a synonym for 'sigh', because they're all too animal-like (there's a surprise ).

Are you planning on descibing her face as she sighs? If so, that will take some of the pressure off the sigh at least - though it might still end up a bit wordy. Otherwise, something like 'pained' would do, depending on context.

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Old 21st August 2009, 12:12 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Re: For Futurama fans (and others)

How about a 'universe-weary' sigh?
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