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Old 12th August 2009, 04:39 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Stu the Cockatoo is new at the zoo.

Hi, I'm Ollie. I've been taking writing seriously (but not too seriously) for about 3 years. My backlog of material is somewhere around 1000 pages, about 200 of it is SF/F.

It's probably obvious that I haven't introduced myself in a forum for a long time. These messages are easier to respond to than write. But I'm really excited to be here and can't wait to critique and be critiqued.

Thanks.
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Old 12th August 2009, 08:04 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Re: Stu the Cockatoo is new at the zoo.

Hi and welcome aboard. Ignore the giant spider, she's only after your pringles.
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Old 12th August 2009, 08:28 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Re: Stu the Cockatoo is new at the zoo.

Easier to respond to? You have evidently not visited many sites where creative genius is expended in welcomes. Oh, certainly, there are those who consider a monosyllabic grunt an adequate response, but crafting a tailored individual answer to one who deigns to join us in this idyllic spot can be an artform in itself.

Welcome to this disreputable gang of rogues and worse. The sleep deprivation, judging by the hour at which you posted your declaration of existence, should not be an excessive problem to you. The addiction is just that; it would be easy enough to hold off with will power, but who would want to?

So, if you've discovered critiques you might know what I do. Be not afeared; diversity is the watchword, and there are few (but oh, how determined a minority) determined to take the watch apart to demonstrate the irregularity of the cogs; it is probably no coincidence "analysis" starts with "anal". But we look forward to dismembering your work (I'm still hoping for an answer to my job application to the Spanish inquisition), and whatever revenge critiques you might manage in response.

Did you bring Pringles? Not essential, admittedly; could an exoskeletal lifeform get fat, she doubtless would be, but – oh, who? Freda. You'll meet her. A slightly oversized spider.

Well, not doubt we will meet in 'aspiring writers'…
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Old 12th August 2009, 09:21 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Re: Stu the Cockatoo is new at the zoo.

Welcome to the zoo Stu,what a wallaballoo!
Its al'ays good too see someone new.
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Old 12th August 2009, 01:29 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Re: Stu the Cockatoo is new at the zoo.

Welcome thatollie - if a zoo is what you are looking for, then a zoo you will find. Some are more zoolike than others but, hey, that's the name of the game eh?
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Old 12th August 2009, 11:04 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Re: Stu the Cockatoo is new at the zoo.

Thanks for the timely and entertaining reponses.
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Old 13th August 2009, 02:03 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Re: Stu the Cockatoo is new at the zoo.

Welcome Ollie.

Legally, your soul belongs to the Chron now. Yay!
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Old 13th August 2009, 03:38 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Re: Stu the Cockatoo is new at the zoo.

New view, Stu! Was in Kalamazoo
To check up on you but, a-hoo
A hullabaloo by Sue knew what not to do.
I hope many fragrant trips to the loo
will pardon this gobble-di-goo
Because I will accrue a new crew
To tew, hew and redo this mew,
Pee-yoo!
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Old 13th August 2009, 03:48 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Re: Stu the Cockatoo is new at the zoo.

Hello Ollie, and welcome to The Chrons.

If your material is evenly divided across the other, non SFF genres (*Momentarily looks like a Sicilian* What? Genres other than SFF? Inconceivable!), why, you must be busy working on 4 other introductions. I will take pity on you, then, and scrupulously avoid sentences that end with phonetic 'oo' (besides this one).

May many happy hours here by yours,

Grim
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Old 14th August 2009, 02:08 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Re: Stu the Cockatoo is new at the zoo.

Hello and Welcome to Chrons, more like a safari park than a zoo, but with less warning signs, or exits.
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