Last Post in This Thread Wins!

[Ursa major]

No-one's winning.




Not while Thread Bear's life is in jeopardy....

[HoopyFrood]

Originally Posted by Werewoman

Does the Holy Knight not carry an H&K?

Can I borrow one of those shimmers? I may have a rather perturbed, enchanted, tiny orange dragon - who has been known to turn into the Queen Alien - after me soon.

*Blinks innocently* Why, I wouldn't think of such!


Well, I didn't until I saw this post, anyway....*Grin*

[thepaladin]

The PI unaware of the ambush waiting outside was peering out the door. He was sure he'd heard Thread Bear's voice out there. But it was getting complicated and all the players seemed to have some chips in the game now. Who knew how it would all turn out? It looked like things might get bloody before it was all settled.

[TheEndIsNigh]

I poured a stiff one and leaned over to whisper in Dizzy's shell like.

"You have about ten seconds to tell 'em to let the bear go or your insides are going to look pretty messy all over this dance floor."

"You daren't do it Tien. You'd get it too. Them Shimmers are nasty they'll go for you after they get me. Go to hell."

He had guts, well he did for now. He looked directly at the hood holding on to Thread's collar and definitely started to shout something"

"Jonesy le..." He stopped, I'd cocked the trigger..... The first shimmer got exited and had lept down the barrel and busied itself chewing and clawing at Dizzy's shirt. An ugly blood stain had already appeared. I thought Dizzy was going to loose his guts in both directions; from the gaping hole that would soon appear above his belly button and through his mouth that had opened to scream the next part of the order.

" le.... let the bear go" he finished.

He was lucky. I eased back the the trigger. It took a few seconds for the shimmer to register the action but it obediently stopped and climbed back into the shell casing. It was angry, chuntering. Dizzy wouldn't get another chance and he knew it.

Jonesy new his stuff. He could also see the blood stain though he couldn't understand it. He slipped his stiletto through the rope that held Thread in the chair.

"Well Mr.. Tien, as good as your word I must say. I must admit I thought you would never find me it time."

He grabbed the bottle and took his usual sip; then placed the empty bottle back on the bar. I would have smashed it in Dizzy's face but he was cuddlier than me. Instead he thanked his host for his kind attention and booted him in the balls. It sent dizzy sprawling forward, I couldn't hold him and he broke free.

"Kill the.." It was the last thing he ever said. I'd pulled the trigger and the shimmer whooped a gleeful squeal of excitement as it entered the soft sensitive parts of the ex-club owners body. Within milliseconds you could carry Dizzy home in a bucket and the shimmer was looking for it's next victim.

Joneys looked in horror as it went straight for him. He may have had time to say a prayer, I doubt it.

By then panic broke out.

Sh*t!!!! It's a shimmer the guy fired a shimmer in a crowded bar." screamed one customer. It would have been better if he had concentrated on getting out instead of acting as commentator. Now he never would.

I grabbed Thread and held on tight. The shimmer would leave him alone if it knew he was with me. I train my slugs well and they know what's required.

After maybe twenty kills the shimmer was starting to get tired. Tired enough to realise it would have to make it's own way home if it didn't stop the carnage. Shimmers like to party but they hate walking home. It sought me out as I went through the back entrance and headed over in my direction. I felt it crawl inside my pocket and kick me in the ribs to assure me it was back. The room had cleared. Three hundred people were heading in every direction. In the panic I got back to the car and drove away. My office was a shambles Anywhere was a bomb site, Holy Wood would be of limits for me for a while that left only one place to clean up and get some rest.

Blondy's

[thepaladin]

The PI had driven away from behind the club just before Claw let fly with the grenade bolt....

"crap" he observed intelegently.

The two hitters roared away after his wheels in their current ride. No more messing around, once in range and both the PI and the bear would be an ex-problem.

[TheEndIsNigh]

In the rear view I could see I was being tailed. Normally I don't like being tailed I enjoy the fun, can you loose them, is the driver good; that kind of thing. However, I could also see even at this distance that some great lummox was leaning out the window trying to take a shot with what looked like a cannon. I liked this kind of tail even better especially when I had my twelve bore loaded with shimmers. These were even nastier than the grown up variety. The young ones all huddled together in there wadding waiting to go out on their first shot.

The other nice thing about them is they don't mind the walk home and don't grumble and moan that the boss had just abandoned them in the middle of nowhere. They also don't mind what they eat. Cars, tyres, flesh it's all a new experience for them.

I slung my sawn off out the window and gave 'em two barrels; aiming wasn't necessary. Poor schmucks didn't stand a chance.

The last thing they heard wasn't the bang from the barrels it was the approaching 'Whheeeeeeeee' as twenty four tiny shimmers enjoyed the thrill of their first ride. The car disintegrated almost at once followed quickly by a gluttonous jelly of shredded flesh and bone. As I doubled back to check they were OK all I could here was the chorus of "Again. Again" coming from the little fellas as they formed up for the trek home.

There might have been others following. I saw at least one car turn back, then stop so the four heavies could upchuck in the gutter. I figured a lot of people hadn't read the small print on my contract. The part where it says I might not come quietly and might even fight back. Normally when some big cheese tell his boys to bring someone back for a party they expect it to be a pushover. I always like to party before the hangover. Especially when the hangover included concrete overshoes and a long drop to the river.

[thepaladin]

As the Caddy swerved to the left to avoid the charge of tiny blood sucking tissue eaters Claw accidently let fly with the grenade bolt. It struck the third floor of the building four forward and to the right side of the street. As the building's facade disintegrated and rubble rained down (a substantial part of which smacked in the PI's car) the Caddy itself inpacted the small cloud of "shimmers". They did their best to claw through the car's body and then met the flesh of the occupants.

Being devoured alive is not usually a plesant experince...

As Birdbrain lost consciousness (finally and mercifully....there's a reason that "shimmers" were declared illegal and un-useable at the last Faerie, Pixie, Mondain, Elf, Dwarf, Super Hero and Monster Conference) the Caddy swung hard left. Claw, still clinging to life was fortunate enough to see the the front of the buildings on the other side of the street approaching at a realatively high rate of speed. As the car made contact with the stone steps of the building it chose, it's front tires bounced upward allowing the vehicle to become a projectile something like a meteorite that happened to be approaching from the street instead of the sky. It smashed into the steel and glass door of the said building sending the engine block through and into the front hall. Birdbrain, dead and no longer caring about the proceedings stopped suddenly as her body met the aforementioned steel door frame, but her wand of magic missles didn't. Well, part of it did slow down. When it struck the steel with Birdbrain's corpse behind it, it snapped in two....and released it's entire charge in one merry explosion.

Most of the front and lower half of the building decide to exit the premises.

This removed in one fell swoop almost a quarter of the building at once. And it happened to be a very important quarter as it was removed from the bottom and support of the structure. The five story apartment house began to topple over forward into and across the street.

The top was just high enough to reach the (so far untouched) department store across the street. It's top floor landing on that roof was just a bit more than the building was designed to handle...and it fell through landing across Sporting Goods, Men's Wear, Toys, and Ladies Langure. It was probably a good thing this was happening at night and the store was closed.

Meanwhile back in the back seat of the Caddy where Claw had been planing to use his BAC to dispatch the PI he was now entering another world and explaining his life and actions to a far higher power than any judge he'd ever met before and really hoping the the whole grace and mercy thing was applicable. His body however was still here and it's what concerns us here.

The "shimmers" having done most of the good work and the crash finishing the job he also was mostly just flopping dead weight now. He'd already triggered the grenade bolt into a building farther down the street, so that at least should have taken care of any damage that might have come from that quarter. And it would have to, if he hadn't thought ahead and planned for a miss. There were still eleven of the grenade bolts beside him on the seat, he'd bought an even dozen.

It's hard to describe what happened next unless you have seen a picture of the tunguska blast. As the rubble of the building fell onto (and of course proceeded into from the front) the Caddy all the bolts went up along with the gas tank and the Caddy's magic propulsion backup.

The next morning the papers (four now instead of five as the Post was left amid the rubble) would carry headlines of the shock and awe value of what was apparently some sort of new gang war between all the underworld figures in all the applicable groups involved. There was in all of them even fear expressed of Faerie Court involvement (and this was quite an admission for the Times which had alwys steadfastly held that faiyies did not exist. This had caused them no end of trouble as every time they printed this several faires died unless all the school children in town would clap their hands)

The PI's car was just clear of the devastation area. He wondered if any of the young shimmers had survived the blast and if they had if they'd want to snack on the way home. That could add to the body count. From what he could see everything from somewhere west of the Wood to maybe a couple of blocks behind him had not only been leveled but thrown debris out for miles smashing and damaging buildings...and beings for miles around.

Oh well, he'd always been in favor of Urban renewell.....but he was realistic enough to know there could be fall out from this. He'd better find a way to lay it off on somebody else. Maybe he could pin it on an Orc/Pixie/ war. Or, possibly the Monster mafia could be made the patsie.

[Werewoman]

*points emphatically*

SEE! I told you it wasn't me!



Which thus makes me the winner, right?

(still want one of those shimmers, though....)

[thepaladin]

There she was again, trying now to claim victory in a gang war where no one even knew all the players. It's true, she looked good staring off into the distance like that, but in the end that kind of thing isn't enough, not when the rubber hits the road, or the fat's in the fire, or push comes to shove.....the paladin looked up from his note pad where he'd been commenting on the goings on trying to come up with more cliches.

[Werewoman]

Lol!:d

[Ursa major]

Don't lol too hard; just remember what happened to some of those in a previous generation of Lollards....

[TheEndIsNigh]

Thread turned from the carnage. He seemed mildly satisfied that the hoods that had given him a working over had paid. He adjusted his red tie placed his hands in together in that patient what comes next pose and asked.

"What next"

"Next we lie low for a while. I know a place where we should be safe while we figure our next move. We're going to pay a call on an old friend of mine; Blondy."

When I started out as a private dick I went into partnership with a buddy. He should have retired long before. If he was a day he was eighty when I first met him. I dunno maybe he had a face that looked older than it was. His wife Blondie and I still kept in touch after he was killed in a fight over an extra ace in a poker hand.

She was a lot younger than him, a real looker, a class act. She had a place out in the sticks the other side of town from Holy Wood. We would be safe there for a while.

"Oh by the way," I asked, "who was it that snatched you back at Anywhere?"

"I don't know Tien, all I saw was a flash of red hair. I assume it was the one that was following me though there have been a few red headed young ladies that I've seen since. I just don't know it could be any of them I suppose. One had a big sword I know that."

Great, it could be that they were all working together. My money was still on the druid girl though.

"So tell me," I asked, after we got through the introductions at Blondy's house, "Where is this golden thread and what do you intend to do with it?"

[thepaladin]

On the other side of what used to be the west side of town and now was a sort of bar-b-que pit, a large woman strode back and forth in front of an opulent desk. She'd run the underworld in this city for ten years now. Noboby moved anything through this burg without her say so. No dope, no fairy flowers, no guns, no wh....er, ladies and gentelmen of the evening, no pixie dust, no black lotus, no cash, and definitly no extortion or kidnapping, nothing went down without her say so. And now a big part of the town where she made her money had been leveled almost to her door step.

Turning to look out her penthouse window past the bridge to Holly Wood and across the blazing smoking ruin that had been a third of her income Cyndi Greenstreet reached for her phone. After that, she'd check her crystal ball. There would be blood for this.

[Werewoman]

Originally Posted by Ursa major

Don't lol too hard; just remember what happened to some of those in a previous generation of Lollards....

*wikiwikiwiki*

Oh. I'll try to keep that in mind. Can I just giggle instead?

[thepaladin]

The next morning the fire department, all of it, and the fire departments from several surrounding cities were all still busy with the spreading fires. It was actually somewhat baffeling to them. As big as the explosion(s) in question were everyone had expected things to be under control by morning.

But the "powers that be" had over looked one importsnt fact. Only about six months before there had been a concentrated push by a couple of insurance companies to sell the entire city on "fire and personal property damage" insurance. As things stood it was well within the realm of possibility that the fires would "happen to spread" to the entire city before it was over. Especially since most of the people here tended to look at insurance of any type as a sort of "future paying investment". It is a well known fact that if a husband or wife buys life insurance on a mate here it's considered grounds for divorce and possibly for a restraining order.