Last Post in This Thread Wins!

[springs]

Originally Posted by Interference

Thangyouverrymudge, I'm here all week

You're so quiet, I never notice at all. Sorry.

[Interference]

Yeah, sorry about that, I seem to have lost my italics. size-sevens and bolds. Must be some type of bug or something.

[springs]

Originally Posted by Interference

Yeah, sorry about that, I seem to have lost my italics. size-sevens and bolds. Must be some type of bug or something.

What's that, you've lost your bold Italian boots? I can't hear you.

[Interference]

No, I said I've been accosted by a tallish, seven-foot pole!

[springs]

It's amazing what takes my attention, suddenly I'm all ears. I've kind of always hoped that might happen to me.

[Interference]

You must go through a lot of cotton buds for that inter-all-ear cleanage.

[springs]

No, it's just your motivational words. You should run courses; don't forget to bring your props.

[Interference]

I gave a motivational speech for the Samaritans once. Hugely successful, it was. Phone response went through the roof. Though I heard later that only a few fell off it afterwards....

[springs]

hey if most of my poor victims -ahem, I mean candidates - make it through without trying to find the roof I consider it an excellent outcome. Happy sheets, pah; bodies in room at the end, that's my success parameters.

and if you go with bodies as the parameter, you can be as boring as you like.

[Interference]

Do you have the same trouble I have disposing of the bodies afterwards?

I usually cover them with the happy sheets first

[springs]

Well it's cleaner. And more civilised. Excellent use of happy sheets.

although the auditors kick up such a fuss, it's ridiculous. Tssk. jobsworths.

[Interference]

You should make the auditors your next ... candidates *evil grin*

[springs]

Been there, done that; they passed.

It's not helped that with my other hat on I am a dreaded auditor; what goes around etc.

But I do match completed, in hand, happy sheets with candidates registered; cadavers ignored.

[Interference]

So, not eaten this time, eh? It's nice to know that, even though you're a carnivore, you know where to draw the line....

.... round the body

[springs]

Absolutely. Now the crows and vultures, good eating there. We get loads of Pheasants on our allotment, its next to a breeding estate, and I keep thinking, you know with the recession, and a useful butcher brother...

that they're very cute, friendly and tame. What else would I think?