The Man Rules

[Who's Wee Dug]

The Man Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally, THE guys' side of the story.
(must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear"the rules"
From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!

1.Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem onlyif you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant theotherone

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOTneed directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have noidea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it willbe scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine… Really

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or

motor sports

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. RoundIS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can -to give them a bigger laugh

[The Ace]

Thanks WWD, somebody had to say it.

[nj1]

Here,here!!

I agree with number one wholeheartedly

[Saeltari]

I pretty much agree with number 1 also

[Werewoman]

Pigs.

[HoopyFrood]

There's sixteen colours?

I just go with the straightforward ones. And add a "light" or a "dark" as necessary. Or mix them up if need be ("greeny-yellow").

See, like the sixteen on Windows...Maroon's just browny-red. And you don't need four types of blue.

[J-Sun]

Yep - I see in eight colors, like the box of crayons.

[The Ace]

Originally Posted by werewoman

pigs.

oink !!!

[dustinzgirl]

Pfft.....

[chrispenycate]

Originally Posted by dustinzgirl

Pfft.....

Didn't know Dusty was inflatable?

[Deathpool]

The way I see it most of these are reasonable. Some of these I can just avoid by staying to myself.

[Ursa major]

Originally Posted by dustinzgirl

Pfft.....

Originally Posted by chrispenycate

Didn't know Dusty was inflatable?

Possibly not any more.

[dustinzgirl]

Originally Posted by chrispenycate

Didn't know Dusty was inflatable?

Ha ha! Only when a man gets off his leash and tries making rules..... (thats a joke, I don't really keep men on leashes...I keep them in the closet like everyone else).

[Werewoman]

Originally Posted by dustinzgirl

Ha ha! Only when a man gets off his leash and tries making rules..... (thats a joke, I don't really keep men on leashes...I keep them in the closet like everyone else).

I keep mine in the dungeon.

[Deathpool]

I'm never put in a dungeon in the first place since I hid myself away eighty years ago. That's also prevented me from being placed in a closet or on a leash. One thing though. I'm not sure that I'd consider crying blackmail.