A question about queries

[Michael]

This is probably self-explanatory but I've got a thick head. I do not want to make a mistake in a query, however, if I can avoid it.

Does anyone know what it means when an agency asks for a "summary including the ending?" Does this mean that the agent would like a description of the resolution in the summary? If so, would the following paragraph suffice?

"From the beginning, Linda knows that David is the murderer and her spirit begins to break with each new vision and victim. Somehow, she must make the police believe her about David's magical powers when even her father thinks she might need psychiatric help. She soon realizes that it is her duty to stop David--because no one else could. With the help of mysterious visitors from the spirit world, Linda learns some of her abilities and races to develop them in time to confront the most powerful nemesis she can imagine."

Or should I provide more detail?

[Princess Ivy]

My understanding would be that the publisher would require to know whether or not the story ended satisfactorily, in other word what happens to her? does she develope her abilities in time to confront her nemisis and destroy him? possibly a summary of the final scene in a little more detail?

[Circus Cranium]

Yeah, they put that in the guidelines, because they get a lot of queries that leave 'cliff hangers' there, as if to lure the editor in. A hook is great when you're preppring for readership, but not for an editor or agent. They just want you to tell them exactly what the book is about. And from what I've read, a lot of people don't do this. lol Seems simple, but that's why.

[cleasterwood]

What they're basically looking for is what your cover blurb would be. For instance in my recent query, which got me a read from an agent but the story itself didn't satisfy their expectations, I had one paragraph that told the plot (all the plot) inside one three line paragraph. In other words they want to know that you can write a viable plot. Here's the paragraph:

Enshrouded by the winds of time and the sands of mainstream Egyptology is the Ancients’ secret. Twins, Andrea and Elise Regal, are about to brush away the grains concealing their destinies. Summoned by primeval gods and the Talisman of Time, Andrea traverses time to the court of King Khufu where she not only finds love but also becomes skilled in the arts of magic and war. Tormented by visions and her sister’s voice breaking the threshold of time, Elise becomes a pawn in a god’s game of Senet. Unaware she is the catalyst to thwart Apep's evil scheme, Elise must find and master the remaining talisman before time proves fatal for all humanity.

For the cover blurb it would only differ slightly but you get the jist.
What you have is fine, but a little weak near the end so I'd suggest actually TELLING the agent if David is defeated or if Linda loses and how. That's what they want and the way you have it now is too vague.
Now, I must admit, my blurb is a little on the vague side but it still gets the plot across without out-right saying that Andrea & Elise defeat Apep. BTW, it was a top agent who looked at it based on the query alone. I wish I could have landed her, but alas even the best queries can be ruined by the first page of a poorly organized mss.

I've since had to edit the story again (like the 10 time) to try and fix the problem I had, which with the advice of an editor that I just happened to meet on a sci-fi/fantasy site, has been easier than before. I can only hope, work, and stay determined so that the next time I send it to someone who wants it, it will be a much smoother version of the story as there is nothing wrong with my style, only the organization of the story. I'm slowly learning the way I need to write to get the agent's attention. It just takes practice and lots of it.

BUT, if you've gotten past the initial query stage and they're asking for a summary they most likely want your synopsis, in full, all the details--nothing omitted. It's best that you ask what specifically they want because it's more professional and you won't get rejected because they didn't get what they wanted in the first place, IMHO.

Hope this helps.
C. L. Easterwood

[Michael]

Huh. Never thought of it that way. Thank you everyone. Hmm. Time to make a few changes . . .

EDIT: I wrote this paragraph to follow the one above. What do you think?

First Linda despairs, until the stranger who calls himself Shaman draws her into the spirit world and heals her. Then, as she bears the loss of each of her friends, she embraces her fate and ultimately defeats David Yeng-Chi—but she knows that her life will never be the same.

[Circus Cranium]

That's nice and tight.

[Michael]

Thanks, Circus. I'm going to go ahead and try it this way for now to see how it works.