What would you do if the person above you was-

[Arwena]

Ijust had that problem today with someone singing out of tune. I'd walk out of the room (which I didn't because I was too polite)

WWYDI the aliens put on a musical extravaganza and their musical scale consisted only of flat tones

[Interference]

Cast the latest crop of X-Factor/America's Got Talent wannabes in it and put it on in a theatre on the moon. That way no one will ever have to witness it, but the aliens (who clearly have not taste in these matters) will be perfectly satisfied.

WWYDI the aliens asked you to put on an interval act?

[bunnypeaches]

Daft Punk? They're good and alien-y but if the aliens have no taste in music maybe Daft Punk'd go right over their heads.

WWYDI the aliens took over and outlawed all music except Hotel California by The Eagles? Over and over and over...

[Arwena]

These aliens are going to drive everyone into the nut house

WWYDI the aliens actually saw music and heard paintings

[bunnypeaches]

I'd find out if they could teach me to do it.

WWYDI the aliens didn't approve of creativity in any form and did algebra for fun?

[Interference]

Sing them a Picasso.

Introduce them to my maths teacher, they'll soon get bored with their algebra

WWYDI the aliens also smelt textures and felt ill?

[bunnypeaches]

Tell them to stop smelling so many textures if it makes them feel ill

WWYDI you were allergic to sunlight?

[Interference]

Probably drink blood and have a natural antipathy towards religious iconography. Halfway there already, btw

WWYDI your roomie slept all day and had bottles of very red-looking drinks in your communal fridge?

[Arwena]

Find a more conventional roomie. Though with the bottles in the refrigerator, perhaps she is satisfied withstale blood. Maybe?

WWYDI the red drink was raspberry juice, but the roomie liked only fresh blood

[Interference]

Give her a stone and say, "Here, get blood out of that."

WWYDI she was the only person you're ever likely to meet who could get blood out of a stone?

[Arwena]

Would that be like having the goose that laid the golden egg

WWYDI you were being chased by a gaggle of vampire geese

[Interference]

Say "Boo!"

(then run, obviously )

WWYDI vampire geese laid really tasty undead goose-eggs?

[Arwena]

They may be tasty, but have horrible side effects

WWYDI your doctor told you you would die if you ever ate another egg

[bunnypeaches]

I'd be gutted, cake is my favourite food and all the best cakes have eggs in... So I'd probably eat some gateaux and die.

WWYDI the doctor told you you couldn't ever eat toast again?

[Arwena]

I presume bread is okay, only bad if toasted. I could manage that, it'sback to peanut butter and jelly sandwiches

WWYDI you were stranded on a desert island with a chef who knew how to saute sand