The Big Bang in 100 words

[Saeltari]

Spindle Smythe-derkins smiled big. He knew he had finally located a genuine relic!

Laughing into the face of destiny he pulled a box free of the soil. Let them call him incompetent now! Just enough knowledge to be dangerous they said. Ha!

Spitting into his hand he rubbed the top of the box where words appeared inscribed;

PANDORA 2.0

He turned it this way and that, wondering who Pandora was and what 2.0 meant.

He smiled; didn’t matter, he had her box now and he would prove them all wrong!

Whistling happily, he opened the box.

*BANG*

The world ended.
----------------------------------------

100 words and no need to worry about the heat or energy of the core

[TheEndIsNigh]

Originally Posted by Zubi-Ondo

BANG!

See, it didn't make any sound at all. (except for the sound of my keyboard when I typed the letters).

(I used the "Impact" font, just for the fun of it. Hey wait... I'm still here. I thought the world was supposed to end or something. )

you need to hit the keyboard harder

Saeltari:

Now we're talking although 2.0 seemed a bit odd. Why not just

Pandora's

If found please return unopened.

[Peter Graham]

Mrs Graham goggled at the television in disbelief, as hordes of Terminators, miraculously revived dinosaurs, giant killer apes, demons from the Hellmouth, out of control Heroes with names like Silo and Fartsack and huge alien motherships all converged on New York City, bent on destruction for no readily apparent reason. Closer to home, armies of cybermen, daleks and cat-fondling international megalomaniacs descended on Cardiff and London.

Where were Will Smith, Bruce Willis, Buffy, Stephen Livingston Seagal, James Bond and the Doctor?

No more heroes any more.

No more planet any more.

[Moonbat]

ok, 2nd attempt.


When they said it was imminent I made jokes about it, it’s my job. Some people took offense, some always do. I, like most, suspected that the end of the world would be one huge explosion and everything would be gone in a millisecond. How wrong I was. It did blow up but just not to smithereens, now I'm stuck on a chunk of rock that’s about the size of Berkshire floating through the cosmos with an ever diminishing atmosphere. I tried to improve the atmosphere with some morale boosting jokes but the cows just didn’t get it. Typical audience.

[Zubi-Ondo]

Originally Posted by Peter Graham

Mrs Graham goggled at the television in disbelief, as hordes of Terminators, miraculously revived dinosaurs, giant killer apes, demons from the Hellmouth, out of control Heroes with names like Silo and Fartsack and huge alien motherships all converged on New York City, bent on destruction for no readily apparent reason. Closer to home, armies of cybermen, daleks and cat-fondling international megalomaniacs descended on Cardiff and London.

Where were (1) Will Smith, (2) Bruce Willis, (3) Buffy, (4) Stephen Livingston Seagal, (5) James Bond and the (6) Doctor?

1. He was be busy trying to hitch a plump nerdy accountant with a beautiful, rich heiress.

2. He was busy "Dying Hard" for the umpteenth time.

3. She was be busy kicking the crap out of the un-dead, who were quickly re-awakening as zombies after the aliens had killed them.

4. He was be busy pretending to be righteous, noble, angry, and egotistical. Oh, wait... he wasn't pretending on that last thing.

5. He's assuming the planet had only been shaken, but not stirred.

6. The Doctor? He's aboard the mother ship, cheering on whilst death, destruction, mayhem, chaos, anarchy, pandemonium, havoc, and some slight commotion are taking place down on earth.

Please don't leave me hanging on the edge of my folding chair, Peter... What happened to Mrs. Graham????


*Holds fist up to mouth and bites fingernails.*

[Saeltari]

Originally Posted by TheEndIsNigh

Now we're talking although 2.0 seemed a bit odd. Why not just

Pandora's

If found please return unopened.

I was thinking in pc terms. The original version, if I remember right just let loose catastrophy and other unpleasantness, but did not end the world. The new version does...

[Peter Graham]

Tremendous post, Z-O! The blighters!

Please don't leave me hanging on the edge of my folding chair, Peter... What happened to Mrs. Graham????

Happily, Mrs Graham is of solid Yorkshire stock, meaning that it would take rather more than the destruction of the entire planet and the sudden and total extinction of the human race to ruffle her feathers.

As the earth turned into a molten blob of burning fire in the infinite blackness of space, Mrs Graham just had time to nip up the back to check on the hens and to feed the pigs before coming back and putting the kettle on. It made a change to have such a warm day in December and Mrs Graham proposed to make the most of it and enjoy her cup of tea in the boiling inferno that had once been the front garden.

Regards,

Peter

[Zubi-Ondo]

Whew! That was a close one. I'm glad she's alright. But like R.E.M. used to say, "It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine."

[Dave]

The Screenplay...

[Exit Stage Left]

[Fade to Red]

THE END.

[jojajihisc]

The surface had long since formed into a single, vast ocean of molten rock. Tidal forces from the impossibly close star squeezed the planet like a sponge so if seen at the right distance and resolution it appeared as if a giant pliable egg. The two inner planets had already been devoured and the star was only just beginning its massive expansion, shucking mass and defying gravity's inward pull. Explosive fissures in the planet's surface vented gas from deep within the mantle. Suddenly what might have once been equatorial Africa was shot into space.....the disintegration would not take long.

[TheEndIsNigh]

Originally Posted by Dave

The Screenplay...

[Exit Stage Left]

[Fade to Red]

THE END.

LOL

Originally Posted by jojajihisc

The surface had long since formed into a single, vast ocean of molten rock. Tidal forces from the impossibly close star squeezed the planet like a sponge so if seen at the right distance and resolution it appeared as if a giant pliable egg. The two inner planets had already been devoured and the star was only just beginning its massive expansion, shucking mass and defying gravity's inward pull. Explosive fissures in the planet's surface vented gas from deep within the mantle. Suddenly what might have once been equatorial Africa was shot into space.....the disintegration would not take long.

Good, though see me below



Sorry you both fail the BANG test.

Dave you also forgot the IS NIGH so no marks for you.

[Zubi-Ondo]

Sneaking up quietly, he pulled out his fully loaded 9mm Beretta, and fired three shots to the back of TEIN's head. The end was certainly nigh for TEIN.

Now the rest of us can relax in peace.

- Z.

[TheEndIsNigh]

Technically Z that would be

BANG

BANG

BANG

which is obviously doesn't qualify for inclusion as a contender

[Zubi-Ondo]

Dang! (not Bang) He's still alive. He must be one of those guys with a metal plate in his head.

- Z.

[Boneman]

First there was nothing........

Then it exploded.....

is the best description of the beginning of the universe I ever heard, so the end of the universe should be.....

Last there was everything.....

Then it exploded....

14 words to explain the beginning and end... Alpha and omega, eat your hearts out.....