character study

[Princess Ivy]

The brief here is to develope a character study. To show aspects of the character in the four different methods (sumary, appearance, habitual/repeated gesture, in a scene) and then to show the character wanting something it will never be able to get. And why the character cannot have its hearts desire.
I've taken a subtle (I hope) approach to the last one. I'd really appreciate some feedback here. What do you think of this character? what do you feel are her motivations? what is her hearts desire? and why will it never be fulfilled. I've written this, and I hope that i've managed to capture the essence of the character without making her a sterotype.
Any comments and critisms (constructive please) would be much appreciated.

Shari:


Summary:

Shari was one of those people that life happens to. Her life had been difficult. One tragedy after another. And, at the center of each, a man. Except for her family, where her domineering mother had been the cause of those problems. So cold and controlling. Even now, at thirty-five, Shari was still subject to her mother’s strict discipline and stern disapproval.

But she knew she could change her luck. If she could just find her prince charming, he would lift her from the ashes of her life to her full potential. She would soar to the heights which she knew were hers by right, phoenix like.



Appearance:

Shari adjusted her tight black leather mini skirt. A belt her mother called it. She fidgeted with the neckline of her low cut blouse, making sure her ample cleavage was displayed.

She checked her immaculate wind tossed blonde mane in the mirror, tweaked few stray hairs. God. Her make up was perfect, from the heavily mascarared lashes to the full pouting red lips. Hints of gold flashed at her ears, throat and writs.

She knew she looked great. It had ‘Oh Tommy she gushed, her school girl pose at odds with her raunchy leather outfit, ‘You are such a flirt.’ She playfully swatted at his patterned shirt.

She shuddered slightly. He was right. She was a beautiful woman, and he, a typical computer geek with bad clothes and hair. His diet showed in his pocked skin and flabby belly, but her hours to get ready for this date. He couldn’t help but fall for her. She was perfect. She turned on her computer, adjusted her web cam and logged onto her messenger.



Habitual/repeated action:

‘Tommy’ delighted Shari rushed into his arms and pressed a passionate kiss to his lips. She held the kiss just long enough to give her patented little wiggle. Guaranteed to make men drool just watching it. Feeling it in such close proximity like this must drive him to insanity, or so she imagined.



Speech in a scene:

‘Hello darling’ Shari's southern drawl drew out the last syllable, creating a warm intimacy.

‘Hey baby, you look great.’ Tommy held her at arms length and gave her an appreciative stare. Followed by a wolf whistle. She squirmed a little under his overt and highly sensual scrutiny. ‘ What did I do to deserve a hottie like you?’’

She shuddered slightly. He was right. She was a beautiful woman, and he, a typical computer geek with bad clothes and hair. His diet showed in his pocked skin and flabby belly. But, She reminded herself, he was a wonderful person. He was her prince charming. The knight who would save her from the gilded cage her parents had created for her when she had returned after her second divorce.

He linked his arm with hers, ‘lets go to my hotel. I’m in need of some serious relaxation,’ and here he winked lewdly at her, ‘to get over the stresses of the flight.’

My freedom, she reminded herself, it’s worth the cost. ‘Sure thing darling’ she wiggled again, kissed him on the cheek and led him to the waiting taxi.



Desire

‘No mother, I’m not going to elope this time.’ Shari held herself firmly against her mother’s fierce glare. ‘I’m thirty-five years old and a mother of two children. I love Tommy and we’re going to get married. And there is nothing you can do about it.’ She felt strong and empowered, a goddess defending her realm against the evil of the underworld.

‘But Shal, ‘ her mothers voice took on a pleading tone. ‘He’s not of our faith, he doesn’t understand our ways. And you two don’t know each other, you’ve only just met.’

‘We’ve been together for months! I do know him. He’s my prince, come to save me, he loves me, he’ll change for me.’ Shari had her hands clasped in front of her, pleading for her mothers understanding. “ Can’t you just be happy for me?’

Her mother turned away. ‘Shal, you’ve known him on a computer. You of all people should know that knowing someone and living with them are two different things. Look at Jack…’

Trust you to bring him into it. Jack was a bastard. Tommy isn’t, he loves me. He left his wife for me!’

‘Shal, for all Jack did to you, you chose him. You thought that he was your prince charming. When will you understand that no prince can save you? Only you can.’ Her mother turned to face her, her eyes were filled with tears for the pain she could already see. ‘And he left his wife? Don’t be a fool girl. You’ve only known him for two months. He could go back to her.’ She held her hands up to forestall the passionate denouncement, ‘and what sort of woman are you? To break up a marriage? I raised you better than that.’

Shari burst into tears. How could her mother turn on her and take that bitch of Tommy’s ex’s side? How could she?

‘You don’t understand, you don’t know him. I hate you.’

Shari fled, tears streaming down her face. She fled back to Tommy. To the warm comfort of his embrace. Her mother was wrong. Tommy was hers. She fell against the hotel door, pounding. Tommy was waiting for her there, still warm from their lovemaking. She should never have left for a moment.

A tall redhead opened the door. She felt the impact of the double blow, as Tommy’s wife slapped her on the face.

[Treikayan]

Princess, I meant to ask you: Is this based off a real life event? I am interested to know. Is Tommy a friend in real life? I like your character overview. Are you going to write the story? It seems that Shari has a deep anger. Did something tragic happen to her beforehand to cause this bitterness I'm sensing as I read?

Hehe, another tale of a tall redhead seems to be unfolding here.

[Chimeco]

heh. wonderful writing style, i felt completely at ease reading your script. There's a few places where it stumbles, but that's purely from technical/grammatical mistakes (run ons and punctuation).

I felt like I wanted to slap her. Honestly, I'd just shake my head at such a poor thing. I got the impression that she was naive and gullable, and/or quite desperate. And yes, I defintely felt that she wanted what she was never going to get. As for her motivation, her hearts desire... it's doubtlessly romantic love with all that prince talk, but she's feeling like she's running out of time.

[Princess Ivy]

shari is an aspect of a person that i have met. at first i felt sorry for her, then i hated her, now i feel only pity. i've fleshed her out a bit, given her some motivations for her actions. a sort of illogical logic. the scene is pure fiction, my immagining of her life and interactions with other people. i brought her to life for my uni course section on character study, and it now appears that she may even count towards my final grade (shudder)

[Lacedaemonian]

Excellent characterisation. However, I disliked the character from the off.

[Princess Ivy]

she isn't meant to be likable

[Lacedaemonian]

Which means that you achieved your objective.