To Prologue...Or Not: Tarquin Jenkins

[ctg]

Originally Posted by chopper

ey up ctg, how's it with you?

unfortunately, i work 5-6 days a week on nasty shifts at Meadowhall, (and the rest of the time is currently spent driving to and from Nether Edge hospital), so i tend to write in bursts in notebooks until i can get everything onto the pc. holidays are great though - holidays, i write like it's going out of fashion.

I write when I feel so. After I finished fourth version I was quite a long time under a deep depression. However, I still did what 'housewives' used to do and keep doing it until something better comes along. I don't know why you keep driving in hospital, but I'm familiar with that concept as my other half has diabetes and things that come with it. Therefore I have spent many nights on hunting all sorts of medicine from night-time London.

What I do with my writing is that I keep everything in my head and then when I feel so, I write until I feel empty. When I have finished one version, I take a pause for sometime and play PC games while I let my mind to rest. Now for past week I have felt a strong urge to start writing on book 2, while I keep applying to jobs and doing our housework + plus all the cooking.

darn good attitude - i've been told that it's probably a good idea to let agents/publishers see that you can deliver more than one book.

Well I'm thinking that maybe I should finish the trilogy before I start submitting. IF in that point I have enough of money, then I can pay to Mister J to edit the whole lot. It might take another couple of years, but then I have proven to them that I can write and maybe get more then £1500 for being an aspiring writer. Also another point that I though it is easier for the publicist to do their job as they have the whole trilogy in their hands rather then waiting for stuff to happen.

All that publicist thing is because my other half work as an publicist. Over the five years that I've been with her, I've seen so many card-houses falling over because they didn't have a story to sell to the notoriously difficult journalists. I know that I have a couple of cards in my sleeve when it comes to that game.

[ctg]

Originally Posted by The Bloated One

ctg,

90,000 words, but after doing a bit of reading, I am tightening and focusing the plot, hence the prologue. I even knock off a principle character (we'll bring her back to life, this is after all about time travel!).

Like mine. Maybe at some point we can compare out concepts.

[The Bloated One]

ctg,

I'll PM you.

TBO

[Peter Graham]

Morning, Squire.

It definitely works for me. A couple of suggestions:-

1). The use of the name "Jenkins" so soon in the first chapter links straight to the Prologue and leaves no room for the reader to wonder "what was that all about?" In other words, you immediately lose the mystery which the Prologue builds. I'd be inclined to hold it for a few pages until you slip Tarquin's surname in, so that eagle-eyed readers can feel pleased with themselves for spotting it.

2). "Mesdames et Monsieurs", surely! Or, at least, possibly. "O level" French was well over two decades ago now and the ceaseless hedonism* of the intervening years has rather dimmed the memory.

3). A point relating to something you said later in the chain, but I'd really not be keen to have dead characters coming back to life as a result of time-twiddling antics. There has to be some finality and if people keep coming back to life, you run the risk that readers feel that you have played with their emotions for no good reason. Worse still, you risk fatally undermining the dramatic tension. If characters can't really die and can go back in time and basically try again, there is no danger or threat. It just becomes a question of how long and by what method they get what they want, rather than whether they get it at all.

4). Anally retentive pedant point - I think transatlantic flights cruise at about 30,000 feet.

Regards,

Peter

*The occasional glass of sherry and a rubber of bridge with Mrs Graham and the neighbours may not sound like ceaseless hedonism, but when you live out in the sticks the standards by which these things are judged are rather different.......

[The Bloated One]

Mr Graham,

Good to see you out and about with loaded quill…

1). The use of the name "Jenkins" so soon in the first chapter links straight to the Prologue and leaves no room for the reader to wonder "what was that all about?" In other words, you immediately lose the mystery which the Prologue builds. I'd be inclined to hold it for a few pages until you slip Tarquin's surname in, so that eagle-eyed readers can feel pleased with themselves for spotting it.

I won’t mention the surname Jenkins in the prologue.

2). "Mesdames et Monsieurs", surely! Or, at least, possibly. "O level" French was well over two decades ago now and the ceaseless hedonism* of the intervening years has rather dimmed the memory.

Okay, you’re right again. There must be more than one male and one female on board…!

3). A point relating to something you said later in the chain, but I'd really not be keen to have dead characters coming back to life as a result of time-twiddling antics. There has to be some finality and if people keep coming back to life, you run the risk that readers feel that you have played with their emotions for no good reason. Worse still, you risk fatally undermining the dramatic tension. If characters can't really die and can go back in time and basically try again, there is no danger or threat. It just becomes a question of how long and by what method they get what they want, rather than whether they get it at all.

I,ll PM you with the new plot line, I’d be interested in your views. Basically, Tarquin will get only one shot at it and have to choose his Parents, or his friend, Rhia. Horrible choice!

4). Anally retentive pedant point - I think transatlantic flights cruise at about 30,000 feet.

30,000 ft Confirmed – Pedant riposte – how do you get to 30,000 ft eh?

*The occasional glass of sherry and a rubber of bridge with Mrs Graham and the neighbours may not sound like ceaseless hedonism, but when you live out in the sticks the standards by which these things are judged are rather different.......

Mrs. BO likes nothing more than a vigorous, Victorian rhubarb induced purge, followed by a couple of chukkas in the garden. She says it does wonders for her complexion, not to mention the roses…

TBO

[chrispenycate]

Mesdames et Messieurs- contraction of possessive pronoun and noun in each.

how do you get to 30,000 ft eh?

Step off a very tall mountain? Personally, I like to have someone else handle practical details like that.

[The Bloated One]

Chris,

What would I do without you?

TBO

[ysabara]

There's no hard and fast rules about prologues.....IMO*g*. I think this achieves what you want it to.....it catches my interest. I'd want to read more to find out the significance of this small scene and it does provide relevant information about the plot which is intriguing rather than revealing...if that makes sense.

[Peter Graham]

TBO,

2). "Mesdames et Monsieurs", surely! Or, at least, possibly. "O level" French was well over two decades ago now and the ceaseless hedonism* of the intervening years has rather dimmed the memory.

Curses! Chris is right with Messieurs! This must be why I never did better than a Grade C.

Mrs. BO likes nothing more than a vigorous, Victorian rhubarb induced purge, followed by a couple of chukkas in the garden. She says it does wonders for her complexion, not to mention the roses…

She sounds like a fine woman of the stripe that once made Britain truly great. Where are her like? I fear that most modern gels prefer comfort and enjoyment to self-flagellation and hardship. Sad times indeed...

Regards,

Peter