Funny Quotes

[Owen]

As my Area Manager has nominated me to do his daily messages (which can take up to 90 minutes to do) I have snuck in a section for funny quotes to make it a little less dry.

So Far:

"Whenever I decorate I always use a step-ladder. I don't get on with my real ladder"
HARRY HILL

"My last boyfriend and I split up over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn't"
RITA RUDNER

"Work is for people with nothing better to do with their time"
OSCAR WILDE

"It takes 100 million sperm to fertilise one egg. This is because none of them will ask for directions."
TOTALLY FORGOTTEN WHO THAT WAS

Anyone got any that I might be able to use?

[M@.Price]

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
- Bill Cosby