Is it normal to feel this after writing...

[ctg]

130 253 word and five months later I have finished fourth version of my first book, based on the recommendation mister Jarrold gave to me, and I feel like I have made a pile of c..p. I don't think it's any good, even though I have seen some of you saying flattering words on the critiques section.

Last time when I was in this point, I felt absolutely different. I felt as I had done something. Some people who read few pages said that they did find it very hooking etc. etc. One editor wrote me long list of fancy words, and even mister Jarrold said, "it's brilliant and I like it, but I don't love it." Hence I took a heed of his words and tried again to do my best.

Now I think that I gained nothing, and I feel kind of hollow. Therefore the question is...

Is it normal for one to feel so? If not, then what the heck I should do to make me feel otherwise and trust that what I have done is good enough?

[Lith]

That's pretty normal. (Of course, I see almost everything I write as crap anyway, so maybe I'm not the best judge) After spending so much time with your manuscript, you get blind to it and can become unable to judge it.

Maybe it's time to send it out for real?

Even as a reader, there are times where I feel a certain passage is crap, even when the first time I read it, I thought it was awesome...

[Teresa Edgerton]

I don't know if it's normal -- I remember reading somewhere that people who spend the most significant and fulfilling part of their day with imaginary people are bound to be a little strange -- but it's far from uncommon. I suffer from it myself.

[j. d. worthington]

I'd agree that it's quite common. Moorcock has mentioned that feeling of depression after finishing a book, before his spirits pick up again and he can be actively engaged with the next; Lovecraft almost always felt what he'd done simply didn't live up to what he wanted, and in fact disavowed some of his best work (such as The Case of Charles Dexter Ward). The list of writers who have felt this way is, if not quiet endless, quite lengthy; so I wouldn't fret about feeling this way; it's simply part of the process....

[Teresa Edgerton]

Wait until you've wrapped up a trilogy. Then you'll know the true depths of despair ...

[j. d. worthington]

Originally Posted by Teresa Edgerton

Wait until you've wrapped up a trilogy. Then you'll know the true depths of despair ...

Ummm... interesting form of encouragement, that....

[Teresa Edgerton]

Oh, JD, it's so much kinder if they're prepared for the worst. That way they can clear the house of sharp objects and household cleaning supplies in advance.

[j. d. worthington]

Originally Posted by Teresa Edgerton

Oh, JD, it's so much kinder if they're prepared for the worst. That way they can clear the house of sharp objects and household cleaning supplies in advance.

LOL! You certainly have a point....

[SJAB]

Originally Posted by Teresa Edgerton

Oh, JD, it's so much kinder if they're prepared for the worst. That way they can clear the house of sharp objects and household cleaning supplies in advance.

So true!! ROFL!

Having recently come back from a con, where I spent quite a while deep in conversation with an industry type (who had read a chunk of my latest effort) I have been swinging from total despair to actually beginning to do the edits he suggested. To actually face the fact you have to "kill your baby" to make it better, is the worse thing I have had to face so far. Goodness knows how I will feel when I have finished this edit and packed it off...

[ctg]

Originally Posted by Teresa Edgerton

Wait until you've wrapped up a trilogy. Then you'll know the true depths of despair ...

Dear oh dear, how did you know it was part of a trilogy? I think at the end, if I am very lucky, I will probably seek out a high place to throw myself down or something, because this morning I woke up in tears. Just kidding, I don't think I have will to do such a desperate act, but I understand now why some of the Russian writers has done such a thing.

[ctg]

Originally Posted by Lith

Maybe it's time to send it out for real?

That's probably what I have to do, even though I have told Mister Jarrold that I finished the piece and wanted him to line-edit it (which he agreed to do straight away), I cannot afford to pay his wages. I cannot even afford to get a new pair of shoes. I have to find some other way to make living.

[the_faery_queen]

i feel sad when i finish writing a book. and when i finish reading one. *shrug*
and i go tyhrough phases of thinking it's crap and thinking it's brill. you need to be able to think both, i think. if you think too much of it, you'll be arogant. if you think too little, you'll never send it out.

[ctg]

Originally Posted by the_faery_queen

i feel sad when i finish writing a book. and when i finish reading one. *shrug*
and i go tyhrough phases of thinking it's crap and thinking it's brill. you need to be able to think both, i think. if you think too much of it, you'll be arogant. if you think too little, you'll never send it out.

You are right. *hugs*

[the_faery_queen]

good luck with it
and how i get confidence when i feel worried, is to think of a writer that i think is awful, and remind myself, if they could do it, so can i

[magician2magici]

hi ctg
how are you ?

well,
yes , i think you are normal
thank god you feel this way after the end , i'm now at the middle of my third book and i felt long time ago that i'm writing the worst thing of my life , and really thought to quitting so many times , although all people around me praised this book and told me it's brilliant , but i disagree with them

after short thinking i came up with a theory , if we - writers - felt great upon what we write , we are losing our motivation for advancing , as - for me at least - feeling i'm the worst pushes me to be the best .. that's what i think
so when you write down your ideas , you feel that it's not the best of you , you could do better than that alot , so in your next book you'll advance , and it's a healthy thing i guess

i'm with teresa , triology thing is a nightmare , full of great despair

so , what if the opposite happened ? what if you think of your work as briliiant and all people around you think it's not ?

i think it's time for you to get published
take the forward step towards it , who knows ..

salam..
and good luck ..
m2m