Science Fiction Fantasy
Science Fiction & Fantasy Portal:   |  HOME   |  FORUM   |   Other forums   |

 


Go Back   Science Fiction Fantasy Chronicles: forums > Books and Writing > Aspiring Writers > Critiques
Register Forum RULES Members List Gallery Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Critiques Post your writing here for critique and constructive criticism


Reply
 
Thread Tools Rate Thread
Old 28th March 2008, 03:59 PM   #1 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Durham
Posts: 173
Plot for my two books.

The Land is Onchara. The world is Gaian. The Year 4016.

Ok. Here it goes.


Book one starts with the story of Anthorn, having been expelled from Mana City he wanders the wilderness. He meets Mal, a man who reveals himself to be an asassin sent by the governers wife. After a brawl Anthorn kills him, steals his horse and heads to Winterfell.

Here he meets Nikita, a Singer/Songmage, and former sister of the Order Of the Rose, who has been stuck their since her two friends died. She wants to leave but can't as she has been bound to the town by magical means. After seeing Anthorn deal with a bunch of bullies, she befriends him after a few attempts. While she wants to leave, Anthorn wants to stay. By chance they meet a man named Gol, a mage that the locals fear.

Gol can tell by Anthorns eyes that he is half Endlord and sees a use for him. He also sees use for Nikita as she knows quite a bit about history. He frees Nikita from her bonds and all three head on a journey to the abandoned isle. Gol also introduces them to a few companions. After much misadventure they reach the Island and reach Lancifer. But in one of the outhouses they discover a decomposing body of a winged humanoid.

In Lancifer itself they discover a book with the sexual congress of certain women and how many children they had. A book with calender dates and moon cycles. A map of the world. And a hatch which leads to a bunker type room. "What's it for?" one asks to which the reply is simply that it was built for a war, the only problem was it was built before the troubles started with the Council. After retreiving the Verrusian stone(crystal.) They leave, but on the way back to the boat they're attacked by Lycrots. Gol is seemingly killed. Anthorn takes the Crystal and everybody runs. Eventually making it across to the continent again.

Here they split up and say goodbyes. Anthorn though decides on being Nikita's bodyguard, having heard that her father is a very wealthy merchant. He plans to seduce her and take her money and run. Unfortunatley as they have a few adventures together he starts to actually care about her. Reaching Imara Nikita discovers her parents and family are dead, her villa burned to the ground. It turns out that when she went missing, they stopped at nothing to find her. Even agreeing to fund the Dumas Erandi. A resistance group who said they could find her. When they did'nt they stopped paying and the group got rid of them. Desperate for revenge, she heads to Damorkine where she hears they are at.

Upon getting there, they discover a scene of mayhem. Booking into an Inn, they learn of Faircaira. Pregnant with the soon to be reborn Anwyn. They also learn that she has been asked to join three groups. The Dumas Erandi. A group of women and men mages sick of the Councils laws on controlling the Mystic Arts. The Followers. A group who follow the new Sorceress. And the Fanharil fields, a group who have yet stated much intent. The groups want Faircaira and her child as the figure head to their groups and cause. The Council want her dead. Just before Nikita and Anthorn arrived she was kidnapped by the Guardians, then rescued by the Dumas Erandi, who now hold her in their makeshift headquarters.

Nikita sees this as an oppotunity to piss them off and so with Garrison and Faellii. (who were hired by the Fanharil fields to kidnap her.) and Sorrel who is searching for her daughter but who arrived with the Followers. They break into the Dumas headquarters and rescue Faircaira and together they flee Damorkine upon the Airship in which Anthorn and Nikita came.

Due to some bad weather, the Airship comes down at Eliuor forest and they continue to flee on foot, until they are captured by the Ferilm and taken to their hidden city Ganoelit to be held until the Council arrive. Here they meet a woman named Anara and her brother Lorn, who also happened to be with Nikita and Anthorn when they went to Lancifer, she helps them escape from her people with the aide of Faraday.

Faraday is Faircairas mother and leader of the Luarith people. In response to the Council refusing to leave her alone, she quit the Council and withdrew the support of her people.

They dont get far until Faircaira enters labour. Sorrel is forced to help her as she had originally lied and said she was a midwife. After several hours. Faircaira gives birth to a baby girl. Then out of the forest come the leader of the Dumas Erandi and the representatives of the other groups. They all warn that now the child is born the Council will move heaven and earth to kill her and anyone who helps. They have one choice. They must choose who to go with. Nikita and Anara choose the Fanharil fields. Sorrel and Lorn the Followers and much to Nikitas shock, Anthorn chooses The Dumas Erandi along with Faircaira, Faraday and Garrison and Faelii. When Nikita questions Anthorn he simply replies. From day one i've looked out for myself. Why should now be any different?

Here ends book one. Book two is continued in next post
anthorn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 28th March 2008, 03:59 PM   #2 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Durham
Posts: 173
Re: Plot for my two books.

BOOK TWO.


Book two begins 9 months before the end of book one, back on the abandoned isle.


Vena is the daughter of a great war hero. One day her house is destroyed by Lycrots. Running for her life, she comes across the ruins of a city and Tanyalla who is returning from the other side of the Island.

With her help vena escapes harm and is taken to Egrin Mull, the home of Tullwan. Tullwan is infact and Endlord and his real name is Rael and he has been hiding from the world for years. At first furious at Tanyalla for bringing the child he relents and sends out spies to keep an eye on the beasts. When they return he learns that the Lycrots are almost at the gates and also they saw an Airship leaving from near Lancifer.

The Lycrots attack and Rael orders all to leave as he will take them on alone. Tanyalla and vena leave by boat and make their way to the Continent. Arriving at Imara they decide to head south to the base of the Dumas Erandi.

9months later.

Imediately after choosing the Dumas Erandi, Faircaira is doubting her choice. Faraday attempts to reasure her things will be fine. Anthorn meanwhile is distracted by the Crystal in his pocket, as it grows hot and painful. It also calls to him telling him to head to Hell Tarr Garr Damiens old fortress. Asaral, their leader decides to cut across the Dead sea much to peoples annoyance. It will be too much for Faircaira. Asaral agrees and makes them build a raft for her to be carried on. As they journey on Anthorn remarks to Faraday that perhaps Asaral is doing this to get rid of them and get her hands on Faircaira.

As they travel they see five Airships above them heading for Ganoelit. The Guardians are coming. Reaching the other side and the town of Tapvin Asaral imediately begins gathering support for Faircaira. To do this she offers proof that her child is Anwyn reborn (by preforming a magic trick and making them think that the baby did it.

Once that town is sorted they head for Anin their main headquarters. They are taken by Airship, which when upon Anthorn sees a woman from Mana city. Sara, the governers wife. Anthorn just before he'd been kicked out of the city had conned his way into her affections and stole all her money. Sara Confronts him and vows to kill him.


Sorrel and Lorn head with the Followers. Sorrel tells them that the two followers she came to Damorkine with promised to help her find her daughter. Greysham, the representative of the Sorceress claims that they will hold up their end of the bargain. As they head up, Sorrel asks for a detour to Damorkine. She says that if the Followers want proof that Faircairas kid is Anwyn reborn, they need to head to ithe forest and find the one who made her pregnant.

They do after some time and discover that The Endlord who fathered the child is in fact Anwyns son Balthorin. Balthorin reveals that all his life he's lived in this forest. His mother had hidden him just before she was defeated in the great war and she vowed to return. By the time Faircaira entered he was so lonley he wanted anyone company. As it turns out Anwyn cast a spell across the forest which prevented him from leaving.

After all is delt with they head north to where the other Followers are prepairing for war. The Council is also prepairing for war. Declairing that an all out annialation of all resistance is in order.

Nikita is still dumbfounded over Anthorns choice. And whats worse, she believes sh maybe pregnant with Anthorns child. When they reach Zebil, she meets a medicine man who confirms this. Nikita pleads with Anara not to mention it to anyone. Because Anthorn is half Endlord and if they'd wanted Faircairas baby so bad, why not hers?

Finally after reaching the base of the Fanharil fields, they learn that the master of the Fanharil fields wishes to speak with Nikita.. Nikita reluctantly agrees and to her surprise discovers the leader is none other than Gol. After explaining how he survived Gol enquires about Anthorn and the Crystal. When Nikita tells him of what happend, Gol is furious, but his anger abates when he reveals that he has two spies in the Dumas Erandi. Faelii and Garrison. And sooner or later, the child will be his.

Faircaira after months of having people wanting her to bless them is thinking of running away. Her mother has already left for Damorkine to look after her people. As she runs to steal an Airship she bumps into Anthorn who is going to take one to Hell Tarr Garr. After teasing her Anthorn lets her tag along, eventually hiring a horse and cart to make it easier for Faircaira. As they reach the lands around the fortress they are attacked. Anthorn is struck in the chest by a dart and knocked unconcious. Faircaira screams and begs for her life thinking him dead. When out of the forest come five Lycrots to take her to Hell Tarr Garr.

In Hell Tarr Garr, Faircaira meets anotther Endlord, called Xara who is the youngest daughter of Rael. Xara assures them that neither will be harmed for they are too important. Xara then reveals a bit about the Endlords. Telling them that when they came to Onchara it was as refugees. They also came to protect Onchara from the beings which stole their country. The Sivak and Maeloin. And also to prepair them for the inevitable invasion.

However they ended up getting sidetracked into petty fueds with eachother. Kandera died in a fued over the making of Lancifer. Damien was killed in a feud with Anwyn after she went mad. Xara also reveals that Anwyn was the one who formed the Council in the first place. Not yepithamy as history says. Rael, her father is alive and well. On the not so abandoned Isle.

When Faicaira asks about her child. Xara laughs and says that it can't possibly be Anwyn as Anwyn never died. Although Xara is kind she then tells her that she and Anthorn can not leave. Anthorn and Faircaira are to mate and make more Endlord kiddies. For they must have every advantage in the coming war. Not just with the Sivak and Maeloin, but the entire continent.

When Anthorn mentions Gols name, Xara gets angry and replies. He's the enemy, that crystal in your pocket, he wants to use that to destroy us all as revenge for his mothers death.

Back with the Dumas Erandi Asaral is angry that Faircaira and the baby are gone. So Angry that she orders that Anthorn and Faircaira should be shot onsight. It no longer matters if Faircaira lives. As long as they have the child they have their figurehead.

Two of the people sent out are Tanyalla and Vena who have been with them for a few months now.

Word then gets around to Greysham that Faircaira has left the Dumas Erandi, seizing this chance he takes a small army with him. Gol also learns of this and he too heads there hoping to get his hands on the child. But unlike the others he knows Anwyns alive and he wants to use her grandchild as bait to lure her out.

The council though they dont know of this also head towards the area inwhich they went missing. Armed with most their fire power they plan on wiping everyone out.
When they reach there a battle ensues.
Nikita now 4 months pregnant goes in search of Anthorn. Eventually finding him and rescuing him. The reunion does not last long as Faircaira is shot and killed by Tanyalla. In her last words she entrusts the baby to Nikita. Gol arrives ready to get revenge on people. He reveals that the crystal is the key to unlocking the gateways, allowing easy passage across the world. He wants to use it to open this continent to the Sivak and Maeloin. With no other choice Nikita uses it and opens up several gateways and leaps through it with the child. Anthorn though is left behind. As book two ends
anthorn is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Demolition Man (1993) Annette General Media Discussion 49 1st July 2008 05:20 PM
The Vent and Rant Thread brightcrow The Lounge 3159 5th September 2007 07:44 AM
What do modern-day readers want from books? (and other thought-provoking questions) Nicole SFF lounge 54 4th July 2007 05:54 PM
Your Favorite Fantasy Book(s) SilentEagle General Book Discussion 126 13th May 2007 03:05 PM
Books similar to Lackey or Brust rebirthofham General Book Discussion 7 26th May 2005 03:22 AM


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 03:02 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.3
Copyright ©2000 - 2008, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
SEO by vBSEO 3.2.0 ©2008, Crawlability, Inc.

About | Link To Us | For Writers | For Publishers | Privacy | Terms of Use | Copyright | Press | XML/RSS | Contact Us

© Copyright Science Fiction Fantasy Chronicles 2003-2008