Pedantissimo

[chrispenycate]

I can't remember having seen this particular idea before. There again, it could be just my memory giving up.



Another hopeless scream billowed around them, carrying the knowledge of its generator's coming dissolution.

"Come on, kid, while it's feeding. It can't finish that fast." The tough little short story

"But that was…" panted Excerpt from Chapter One, not used to the exertion.

"I know kid, I know; but it was bound to happen."

They had met the hapless prologue the evening before, and even then it had been clear she was natural prey for the pedant, the weak stock easily cut off from the herd and dismembered. Still, the though of his cruel commas driven through her tender clauses, those delicate homophones ripped free and spat out for the scavengers – Excerpt shivered.

"Why do they do this to us?"

"Who, the pedants? It's in their nature. They're not cruel, but they can't create, so must destroy. --If they weren't there we'd be ovewhelmed with inferior stories, taking all the words, no space for the fitter ones like us"

"No, our creators. Why do they expose us to this?"

"How can they ever learn to fashion more perfect examples if it's only fawning family and friends who complement, and pet us, feed titbits and are delighted when we get fat and slow" The short looked at his companion, never friend – you didn't last long in this forum if you allowed yourself the luxury of emotions – and went on "I was submitted once, before being sent here. You think this is tough; wait till you've seen an editor. There was even a literary critic came round, once. Fortunately I was below his notice, and was sent home with a rejection slip the next day. Man, those were scary; it's almost worth being as bad as that prologue and being sent to the Slush Pile to avoid that treatment."

Talk of the Slush Pile gave an extra boost of energy to the excerpt, who joined his companion behind a concealing screen of fluttering documents, all rendered nervous by the earlier cries.

"And the reward for surviving this, regenerating tougher and faster from the scar tissue?"

"You've got it, kid. If you make it here, they send you to the editors and publishers (or, if you're really lucky to the vanity press.) If you still survive, they put you on the shelves, and one or two humans will be as nice to you as family were when you were only a baby; but most will read you once, and then you'll go for pulping, be recycled as toilet paper (unless you were an Ebook, wheh you're gone forever when the current's turned off.)"

"But what's the purpose of it, why are we here? To suffer, compete and be lost to memory forever?"

"Like seeds, a little of our being continues, our memes go down the generations, to turn up in future oeuvres many years hence. But you'll never survive to make seed if you're caught now. You need to toughen up, hard lean, and mean like me. I've been bumped a score of times, getting tougher every one of them, and soon I'll be going back against the editors and publishers again.
You've got what it takes, if you can stay the course, and in a few rewrites – not fun, but youve got weaknesses yet, you might be their on the best seller list I can never aspire to, facing critics and award comittees.
If you should manage it, I'd be proud if you contained a little meme from me…"

[ctg]

Hehe, very sarcastic Chris.

[The Ace]

Ummm, in the last paragraph, 'There,' not 'Their.'

[chopper]

Originally Posted by chrispenycate

I can't remember having seen this particular idea before. There again, it could be just my memory giving up.



Another hopeless scream billowed around them, carrying the knowledge of its generator's coming dissolution.

"Come on, kid, while it's feeding. It can't finish that fast." The tough little short story

said

"But that was…" panted Excerpt from Chapter One, not used to the exertion.

"I know kid, I know; but it was bound to happen."

They had met the hapless prologue the evening before, and even then it had been clear she was natural prey for the pedant, the weak stock easily cut off from the herd and dismembered. Still, the though

thought

of his cruel commas driven through her tender clauses, those delicate homophones ripped free and spat out for the scavengers – Excerpt shivered.

"Why do they do this to us?"

"Who, the pedants? It's in their nature. They're not cruel, but they can't create, so must destroy. --If they weren't there we'd be ovewhelmed

overwhelmed

with inferior stories, taking all the words, no space for the fitter ones like us"

"No, our creators. Why do they expose us to this?"

"How can they ever learn to fashion more perfect examples if it's only fawning family and friends who complement,

compliment

and pet us, feed

us

titbits and are delighted when we get fat and slow"

full stop required

The short looked at his companion, never friend – you didn't last long in this forum if you allowed yourself the luxury of emotions – and went on

full stop required

"I was submitted once, before being sent here. You think this is tough; wait till you've seen an editor. There was even a literary critic came round, once. Fortunately I was below his notice, and was sent home with a rejection slip the next day. Man, those were scary; it's almost worth being as bad as that prologue and being sent to the Slush Pile to avoid that treatment."

Talk of the Slush Pile gave an extra boost of energy to the excerpt, who joined his companion behind a concealing screen of fluttering documents, all rendered nervous by the earlier cries.

"And the reward for surviving this, regenerating tougher and faster from the scar tissue?"

"You've got it, kid. If you make it here, they send you to the editors and publishers (or, if you're really lucky to the vanity press.)

full stop outside parenthesis.

If you still survive, they put you on the shelves, and one or two humans will be as nice to you as family were when you were only a baby; but most will read you once, and then you'll go for pulping, be recycled as toilet paper (unless you were an Ebook, wheh

where

you're gone forever when the current's turned off.)"

"But what's the purpose of it, why are we here? To suffer, compete and be lost to memory forever?"

"Like seeds, a little of our being continues, our memes go down the generations, to turn up in future oeuvres many years hence. But you'll never survive to make seed if you're caught now. You need to toughen up,

dash or colon instead of comma [quote] hard [quote] comma

lean, and mean like me. I've been bumped a score of times, getting tougher every one of them, and soon I'll be going back against the editors and publishers again.

If

You've got what it takes, if you can stay the course,

maybe rather than and

and in a few rewrites – not fun, but youve

missing apostrophe

got weaknesses yet,

dash rather than comma

you might be their

there

on the best seller list I can never aspire to, facing critics and award comittees.

committees

If you should manage it, I'd be proud if you contained a little meme from me…"

*checks handiwork, puts down tools. removes leash and opens gate. the sun rises on the open hills beyond*

fly, little one! be free!

[chrispenycate]

Grins. Perhaps I should reinstate a teeny tiny corner of the spellchecker.

You are, of course right; such a tale should be grammatically impeccable, even if it is one of the short lived memes, doomed to ultimate disappearance leaving no offspring.

be recycled as toilet paper (unless you were an Ebook, wheh you're gone forever when the current's turned off.)"

full stop after the parenthesis here, too?

Yes, I should have gone over it more carefully, if only for my reputation.

[chopper]

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

my latin is too rusty to insert grammaticians.......



nonetheless, i did like it.....

[Moonbat]

Chrispenycate,
I liked this, very good, It took me a moment to realise the charatcer names, but then I smioled and had to carry on, and I loved the little rant by Short story.
With such an interesting idea I would like to see it sculpted into a true little short story, lamenting about all the lost stories/ideas here online, but also the memes that will pass into popular culture and come out in true (published) novels somewhere down the line. I like the idea that idea's themselves don't dissappear but get assimilated into pop-culture.
Hmmm. This is inspiring me, let's see what I can come up with

Well done chrispenycate, I enjoyed

Moonbat

[svalbard]

Savage in its sarcasm, Chris. I really liked it. Maybe you should look at satire as an outlet for your creativity. I am still chuckling after spewing out the beer I was drinking when I read this.

[Hilarious Joke]

Ha ha ha ha, I would add my criticism, but I feel much more sympathetic to the plights of excerpts, short stories, chapters and memes after reading it. Well done though!

[Leisha]

I concur! A fantastic little piece to make all of us writers think.

You're being very creative lately, Chrispy. You're an inspiration!

[Zubi-Ondo]

LOL Chris. Good Stuff. It reminds me of a hit record we had here in the states by the "Georgia Satellites" called "I love you period."
LyricsVault Golden Oldies: I love you period - Dan Baird lyrics songtekst songtext liedjestekst paroles

- Z.